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Super Petty...Baby Shower Gift Etiquette Question...

BarnesoBarneso
in 3rd Trimester

So, I have a friend who had her baby two months ago.  I spent a lot of time, effort and money, putting together baby shower gifts for her.  We are good friends but she lives out of state so we don't see each other often.

Um, she hasn't sent me any thing and I don't think she intends to and I know it's not a financial thing.  So, whatever, I've let that go.

But then... now there's another friend who is pregnant.... Not due until March, I don't think, who emailed us her registry information (out of the blue).  

We didn't email our registry information but we did post several times on Facebook, "Hey!  DH's sister is throwing us a co-ed shower... if you want to come and booze it up while we talk baby-stuff, let us know so we can make sure she sends you an invite!"

Never heard from this girl.  In fact, this girl has hardly talked with us about anything during our pregnancy and then randomly emails us her registry info?

Should we send a gift? :( 

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Re: Super Petty...Baby Shower Gift Etiquette Question...

  • skmac05skmac05 member

    WOW that's tacky of her!

     

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  • NiniJ55NiniJ55 member

    Sending a gift to this friend should really have nothing to do with the first friend not sending you a gift.

    If she is your friend - send her a gift. 

    ETA:  I like the point that "dib" made right below me - LOL.... so disregard my response and go with that... Embarrassed

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  • dibdib
    Unless you were invited to attend something - like a shower - I wouldn't send anything unless you had planned to to begin with. And I wouldn't let the registry change that. I find it odd (if in fact this is the way it went down) that someone would not invite you to anything and just send you their registry info... isn't that like asking for someone to give you a gift?
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  • snicksnacksnicksnack member
    I would wait until she has the baby and then send her something if you want.  That is what I do for friends whose showers I am not invited to, although these friends are out of state. 
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  • BarnesoBarneso
    Or at least some fake interest in our pregnancy would be nice.  I screwed up in my OP - She's not actually due until June.  
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  • whitward87whitward87

    imagedib:
    Unless you were invited to attend something - like a shower - I wouldn't send anything unless you had planned to to begin with. And I wouldn't let the registry change that. I find it odd (if in fact this is the way it went down) that someone would not invite you to anything and just send you their registry info... isn't that like asking for someone to give you a gift?

    This.

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  • Oct08bridgeOct08bridge

    About friend #1...it took my cousin a good 3 months to send us a thank you note so maybe she's just a little slow getting them out. It took me 2 months to get out our wedding thank yous...oops!

    The second girl I would not send anything to. Its really weird to just all of the sudden send your registry information. Most people know that there is a baby registry and can look at babies r us or target to try to find one.

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  • laurenrobbielaurenrobbie
    I wouldn't send a gift unless you are invited to a shower. Tacky of her just to send registry info!
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  • BarnesoBarneso

    imagedib:
    Unless you were invited to attend something - like a shower - I wouldn't send anything unless you had planned to to begin with. And I wouldn't let the registry change that. I find it odd (if in fact this is the way it went down) that someone would not invite you to anything and just send you their registry info... isn't that like asking for someone to give you a gift?

    I forgot to mention - She lives out of state.

    She's not a good, good friend.  She's one of DH's friends from HS but they talk maybe once a year and we're on each other's Facebooks. 

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  • sarajo317sarajo317
    Is she from Tacky-ville?
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  • JKB1986JKB1986 member

    imagesarajo317:
    Is she from Tacky-ville?

    lol this made me laugh.

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  • BarnesoBarneso
    imageJKB1986:

    imagesarajo317:
    Is she from Tacky-ville?

    lol this made me laugh.

    Ha-ha. 

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  • kdiaisflykdiaisfly
    You know I never noticed how rude people can be until I had my shower, it is ridiculous!! 
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  • StrawberryAlarmClockStrawberryAlarmClock member
    imagewhitward87:

    imagedib:
    Unless you were invited to attend something - like a shower - I wouldn't send anything unless you had planned to to begin with. And I wouldn't let the registry change that. I find it odd (if in fact this is the way it went down) that someone would not invite you to anything and just send you their registry info... isn't that like asking for someone to give you a gift?

    This.

    I "third" this motion. LOL

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  • joesbridezillajoesbridezilla member
    Maybe she just emailed everyone in her email address book the registry instead of going through and picking only the people she invited to her shower or close friends. Either way kind of tacky. I wouldn't feel like I had to send a gift to a face book friend.
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  • JennicapJennicap member
    I personally would not send a gift

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  • MrsHKMrsHK member

    So these are two different friends we're talking about, right? The first I think is just a general annoyance and you're right you just have to let it go. So what you got her something, and she didn't get you anything. I have a couple of friends like that as well. I was more annoyed that they didn't come to my shower though, then not give a gift.

    The second friend is extremely tacky. There was no reason for her to send out her registry information. You are in no way obligated to get her a gift just because you know where she is registered. 

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  • Summer20Summer20

    1st friend - It sucks, but some people are just like that.  I spent a lot of time and thought on my friend's shower gift (tried to make it really personalized, nicely wrapped, etc) and she just handed me an unwrapped gift the other day and never even RSVPed that she wasn't coming to the shower.  Money-wise it was probably similar, but I definitely put in way more thought and effort... oh well, what can you do.

    2nd friend - heeellll no, don't send her a gift  :)


    DD february 2010 | DS october 2011


    *please excuse my typos, bumping from my iphone*
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  • americanadaamericanada

    did the 1st friend at least send a thank you?

    as for friend #2: i would not send a gift.  especially if you're not close and partially out of sheer principle.  that would really rub me the wrong way.

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  • cabinwifecabinwife
    Wait, so she's only 3 months along, and emailed you her registry info herself?  Super tacky.  I would ignore her registry entirely and send her something completely practical, economical, and boring, like a Costco-size box of wipes, but that's because I'm kind of a b!tch about stuff like this, sooo...
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