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Disappointing Day...

gstf344gstf344
in Adoption

DH and I were hoping to get a loan through a bank in our area.  They actually have a family connection loan you can apply for that lets you make payments on the balance and then when you receive the tax credit you pay off the rest of the balance with that.  (If it is continued of course) 

We found out today because we had a few late payments a few years ago that we do not qualify even though our credit scores are good.  We were so excited about this loan and now I am not sure how we are going to proceed.  We are having such a hard time finding prospects for funding and now that we were denied for this we are afraid no one will approve us.  We may still qualify for grants but I am pessimistic about finding enough to fund our large placement fee that will be due.  We are scrimping and saving and have a few things planned for fundraising in the spring but I just feel really dis-heartened about this.    Sad

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Re: Disappointing Day...

  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member

    oh no... I am so sorry... :(

    We have run in to financial road blocks several times throughout the TTTC/adoption process.  It is so disheartening.

    Hang in there.....

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Go_DawgsGo_Dawgs member

    I'm so sorry.  It's crazy how expensive adoption is!  This is our biggest hurdle and something we are really struggling with.  We would love to sign up with an agency, but spending $25k+ is just hard to swallow.  We even do have the money, but it would signficiantly drain our savings, and I just can't bring myself to do this.

    Thanks to another poster on this board, I did just find a reputable agency with a very reasonable, flat fee for all adoptions (under $19k).  If we go the agency route, this is who we will go with.  PM me if you would like info.  After the adoption tax credit, the adoption will actually cost only a few thousand dollars, which is a number that I can stomach.

    Still, we are considering other options before jumping into agency adoption.  We're giving independent adoption a try and are networking to find a birth mother.  It took us time to create a website and then send emails to pretty much everyone we know, but an independent adoption can easily be done for under $10k.  Foster to adopt is also something we may consider, but are reluctant to try right now.

    One option we are considering in order to avoid using our savings is selling a car that is paid off and buying something much less expensive.  Can you borrow from a 401k?  What about loans from family members?  If you absolutely can't come up with the money, I would seriously consider independent adoption and networking to find a birth mother on your own.  This can be an extremely affordable option.

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    How far are you from Chi?  My agency is $15k (for AA/biracial adoptions) and while they generally only work with IL residents, I know they have made exceptions.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • LetsBeNiceLetsBeNice

    I'm so sorry for the disappointing day. I ran across this while researching adoption funding...

    https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/documents/2009BankofAmericaLoanProgramFlyer_000.pdf

    I don't know anything about it, but thought I'd pass along the information in case it will help.

    Good Luck!

    DS1: Wild Man born 11/28/07
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    Hey will you email  me? rachel32004@msn.com
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    I am sorry you hit this snag.  {{hugs}}
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  • gstf344gstf344

    Thank you everyone for the great advice.  I am sorry I didn't get back yesterday!  Our internet was acting crazy and for some reason I couldn't access anything. DH and I live in Iowa so we are not that far from CHI :-)

    I had never really thought about independent adoption so I have not done much research. I will have to look into it closer and talk with DH to see if he is open to that too.  We have also thought about fostering to adopt but at this point in time would like an infant and I know most of the time that is not possible going that route.  It was just really a disappointing day yesterday and your comments and advice really made me feel better.  I am so glad I have a place to go to share our journey with people going thru the same thing.

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