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Houston Babies
I had a meltdown last night
I was on vacation for the past 2 weeks and did a lot of work in the house to organize everything that was stored in the room that will become the nursery. We didn't finish, but the room is at least empty and ready for us to get the new windows installed, paint, and get the furniture in.
So last night at 10:00 PM I realized that I have about 8 weeks left until my due date, so I had a meltdown. I was worried about not being far enough along with the nursery, not having signed up for any kind of birthing class, not knowing anything about breastfeeding or bottle feeding, not having daycare finalized, not knowing how much of anything I will need (like onsies and diapers), and generally not knowing how to care for a baby.
I am 35 and have never fed, changed, or held a baby. I have no idea what to do with one and am so worried about being a horrible mom. I feel unprepared and also feel like I don't have time to get prepared. I will be working up until I have the baby so I can take a full 12 weeks with him before I come back to work.
DH did a great job of making me feel better and reminding me that he is here doing this with me. I am still a bit overwhelmed and wish there was a Cliff's Notes version of all the things I need to know.
If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it.
Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10
TTC #2 since Dec 2011
BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12
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Re: I had a meltdown last night
Relax...people had healthy babies long before there were child classes. We'll learn as we go. I just signed up for our classes last week so there is still time to get into them (we have one next week and one in early February). You're getting there with the nursery too...sounds like the hard work is behind you so now you're just setting up.
I have a meltdown weekly...every Wednesday in fact as I realize I have one less week so I think it's normal. You want to do the best you can for your child but relax and know you're doing fine. You do have your DH and you've got time.
If you find those Cliff's Notes...send them my way.
No worries! We had no clue, as well. We took a "Life with Baby" class that Women's was offering. Although, very basic, it really helped out in general knowledge. Don't worry - you still have plenty of time to get ready for the baby - 8 weeks is a long time! I worked up until the very day I gave birth (was getting ready for work when my water broke!) and we were very busy at work. DH helped a LOT. He ended up doing the nesting b/c I didn't have time to!
The bumpies/nesties are a great resource, so just know if you ever have any questions along the way, this is a great, quick way to get answers!
(I would push you on the daycare issue, though - they can sometimes have waitlists, so better do it now rather than later!).
Very good point. We paid our deposit two weeks ago and the wait list is until mid-June (which is when we would need it anyway so we're good) so you may want to look into reserving his spot soon.
Thanks, y'all. That does make me feel better. I am going to look into the "Life with Baby" class and will try to get the daycare situation finished ASAP!
I just got so overwhlemed, and I am not usually like that. DH was funny and said what Cali said. People have been having kids and doing just fine without classes and if we had Evan tomorrow, everything would be okay. If I just realx things will go much better and Evan will be a happier baby.
I just need to realize this isn't something I can tackle like one of my projects at work.
Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10
TTC #2 since Dec 2011
BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12
a week 32 meltdown is normal. my sister had them nightly at about 9pm where she would feel like she had to go to the store RIGHT NOW to get everything the baby might possibly need.
don't worry about the nursery, Evan wont' notice if it's finished or not. chances are he won't sleep in it for a bit anyway.
do you have anyone helping after the baby? that might help ease your mind about knowing what to do. much of it is instict that you don't know you have until they arrive anyway.
and i'm in the minority here but my suggestion is to take advantage of the nurses in the nursery at the hospital. ease into caring for the kid and you'll have help 24/7 in the hospital. they are mostly good ones so you can use them as a fountain of information, most are very helpful and ready to aid a new mom. plus if they have him you get sleep which makes everything much brighter and not as intimidating. i like to think i'm a good mom and i didn't have addie bedside 24/7 in the hospital.
also there's lots of post partum classes at the hospital too,
If it helps you feel better, DS's nursery was definitely not ready for him when he came. Of course we knew he was going to sleep in our room the first several months in a bassinet. As long as you have the crib or place for the baby to sleep, then your good!
I didn't take any childbirthing classes at all. My OB said that everything you need to know the nurses will tell you in the hospital while you are delivering.
Almost everything else you need to know about babies is INSTINCT! Listen to your instincts and you will do great!
Try not to stress too much! I know it's hard, but you will do great! Babies need very little in the beginning, so even if the nursery isn't perfect, your baby will be just fine.
I was totally overwhelmed about the feeding thing, so I get where you're coming from. There were so many bottles to choose from, I didn't know if breastfeeding would work for us, I hadn't bought a pump yet, etc. 14 months later, I am about to wean from our last nursing session. The nursery nurses were very helpful that first day, as was the hospital lactation consultant. Definitely use the resources provided to you in the hospital.
The Life with Baby class at Texas Women's was a good primer with basic information. I'm not going to lie - those first few months of his life, I busted out "What to Expect the First Year" all the time! Those first couple of times, we did the bath recommended in there step by step. After a few times, we got our own routine down.
Take lots of deep breaths...you'll do great! You will surely have questions, but they won't be anything that other mothers haven't faced.
Breakdowns are totally normal. I had them quite often, especially the last few weeks so be prepared. I was freaking out that my house would be dirty when I went into labor - that my bathtub wouldn't be clean. Hello - I can't take a bath till 6 weeks pp! I also worried that the Christmas stuff wouldn't be up. Like DS cared!
As for taking care of a baby, my dad told my mom this "you're the smartest person that baby knows." It's all trial and error. When DH asks me what we should do or what he should do I tell him that it's all a guessing game for me! Process of elimination. :-)
I was in your exact same boat. Same age same never changed a baby diaper status. We moved to a new house a month before DS was due and didn't even have time to set up the crib in his room. Of course he didn't sleep in the crib for the first 3 months of his life so I was stressed over nothing.
Please please don't beat yourself up over the little things. All of the things that you have mentioned about not knowing will come. I can't even explain how or why but you just figure it out and your baby will be fine. Your DH is so sweet to say that he is there with you. Take advantage of the help that everyone gives you. I'm not sure that anyone goes into motherhood 100% ready with all the answers. 8 weeks is still a good chunk of time. Make a list of the things that you need to do and get them done one at a time. it will seem a lot less overwhelming that way even if the list is long. Get the things done that have to be done and everything else can wait. You'll find that what you want done and what you need done may be very different.
You're almost there. Good luck.
Awww, it's okay. I know how stressful and anxious it is at near the end but everything will work itself out! You are going to do just fine! It's not too late for a couple of classes and they may help ease your nerves a little as well. What helped me was to write a list of everything I wanted to get done and another list of what "needed" to get done. Once I saw it on paper it wasn't so overwhelming and I realized I had done a lot more than I thought I had! Good luck, everything will be okay and it's okay to have meltdowns too!
Thank you so much, ladies! I feel so much better and feel like I have a better grip on acknowledging that there is a difference between what needs to get done and what I want done.
I really appreciate the support and shared experiences. It is also nice to know I am not the only one to have this kind of a meltdown.
I am starting my list today of what needs to get done as well as calling about possible classes so I can feel a bit more prepared.
Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10
TTC #2 since Dec 2011
BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12
The baby will most likely stay in the room with you for the first couple of months, so you don't even need to finish the nursery. Just have a pack and play or something that has a bassinet set-up to it. For onesies and so forth, as long as you have something to last for a day, your DH can always run back and forth to a BRU and Target to get more items. The first week, DH went on daily trips to BRU and Target to get things we didn't have.
Just know that babies are not that fragile and really only need some clothes, food, and love.
Also, while you're in the hospital for a couple of nights, the nursery nurse and also your pedi should help you and show you how to care for your baby to make you feel more comfortable.