I feel like I'm the only one who's excited to be having a baby...

MommyTori1 · January 2010

My DF always seems so uninterested whenever I ask him about things for DD. He has no opinions of his own and never wants to take a few minutes and look at things with me (like for creating our registry), but has no problem telling me what he DOESN'T like that I've picked out. Then he makes comments that he has no say anyway and we'll just end up getting what I want, but I really do want his input so we can decide together. It's our first baby and I wish he was more involved. I know he's happy to be becoming a father but rarely shows it. Is anyone else in the same boat?

ejbinky24 · January 2010

Don't worry....he is just scared, its a guy thing. Give him time and he will come around.

nicT42509 · January 2010

I am too..DH doesnt talk about it anymore, didnt go register with me, doesnt seem to care. I called him on it and he said "its too early to be so excited" hes like that with a lot of things though but it still upsets me.

queenofkings76 · January 2010

right there with you!

We find out the sex next week. I'm hoping that when we know the sex and he can actually feel the baby kick he starts acting more interested.

mopsie · January 2010

Sorry... what is DF?

nicT42509 · January 2010

mopsie:
Sorry... what is DF?

Dear Fiance I think

Qmommy · January 2010

Are you also planning your wedding? Is he helping you with that?

Some guys just aren't into the "planning / preparing" thing. My DH helps me pick things out but I usually have to narrow it down to 2 or 3 things before he'll even look. He also says I spend WAY too much time researching baby stuff. I don't care. He'll get over it. What you have to do is tell him that he doesn't get to have an opinion if he refuses to participate in the planning. So if you pick something he doesn't like, either speak up before it's purchased or keep his mouth shut!

MommyTori1 · January 2010

Qmommy:
Are you also planning your wedding? Is he helping you with that?
Some guys just aren't into the "planning / preparing" thing. My DH helps me pick things out but I usually have to narrow it down to 2 or 3 things before he'll even look. He also says I spend WAY too much time researching baby stuff. I don't care. He'll get over it. What you have to do is tell him that he doesn't get to have an opinion if he refuses to participate in the planning. So if you pick something he doesn't like, either speak up before it's purchased or keep his mouth shut!

LOL I'm getting to that point. No we're not planning our wedding yet, it'll be in 2012, but I'm sure he'll be the same way about that. I've already mentioned little things like what I would want the color of the dresses to be and he just shoots down my ideas. ughh.

And to the earlier question, yep, DF is dear fiance.

Michaels_Girl07 · January 2010

I am with you too. In fact DH and I got in a fight at BRU on Friday because he would give me no input on cribs. I agree that I think that he is just scared and overwhelmed (this is our first baby). The next time we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

epona3 · January 2010

Michaels_Girl07:
we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

I got Baby Bargains and the Consumer Reports books, b/c my DH is kind of like this, too. He likes to read and compare and try to find the best quality for the best price. We've pretty much already settled on a crib, and I'm going to put him in charge of car seats and strollers. I don't really care what those look like, I just want them to be safe and practical! I think he'll get more excited about those things

epona3 · January 2010

Michaels_Girl07:
we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

I got Baby Bargains and the Consumer Reports books, b/c my DH is kind of like this, too. He likes to read and compare and try to find the best quality for the best price. We've pretty much already settled on a crib, and I'm going to put him in charge of car seats and strollers. I don't really care what those look like, I just want them to be safe and practical! I think he'll get more excited about those things.

epona3 · January 2010

Michaels_Girl07:
we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

I got Baby Bargains and the Consumer Reports books, b/c my DH is kind of like this, too. He likes to read and compare and try to find the best quality for the best price. We've pretty much already settled on a crib, and I'm going to put him in charge of car seats and strollers. I don't really care what those look like, I just want them to be safe and practical! I think he'll get more excited about those things.

epona3 · January 2010

Michaels_Girl07:
we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

I got Baby Bargains and the Consumer Reports books, b/c my DH is kind of like this, too. He likes to read and compare and try to find the best quality for the best price. We've pretty much already settled on a crib, and I'm going to put him in charge of car seats and strollers. I don't really care what those look like, I just want them to be safe and practical! I think he'll get more excited about those things.

epona3 · January 2010

Michaels_Girl07:
we went out to look at cribs I handed him Baby Bargains and had him look up each manufacturer. I think he liked focusing on the safety side of the crib because he doesn't really care what the crib looks like. This also made me feel better because at least he was offering his opinion.

I got Baby Bargains and the Consumer Reports books, b/c my DH is kind of like this, too. He likes to read and compare and try to find the best quality for the best price. We've pretty much already settled on a crib, and I'm going to put him in charge of car seats and strollers. I don't really care what those look like, I just want them to be safe and practical! I think he'll get more excited about those things.

Lauren9881 · January 2010

I went through that too. Anything I would ask he would say "it's too soon" or "we have time". Wanted to wait to talk about names, baby products, nursey, anything. So of course I had a pregnancy grade overreaction and had a hysterical freak out and explained that what if- god forbid- the baby was early for some reason or I was hospitalized and put on bed rest. Then he'd have to do all the registering and shopping himself. He got the memo. Since he's been much better about contributing to these conversations. I honestly think he could make himself believe it was still very far off if he didn't contribute to planning.

DSU98 · January 2010

My DH is the sdame way and this is baby #2. I think he is excited but he does not show it. He has never been the mushy guy. When you see him with DD though you know she is his world and he loves her so much.

UkieBabe · January 2010

My DH acted similarly with our first & didn't really start warming up until the baby became more "real" for him - when we got our gender ultrasound, when he could feel the baby moving, etc. Ditto picking out baby stuff, I think partly it was because he had no baby experience, and partly because he really doesn't care about what kind of things or decor we have in general. I had to learn to not take it to mean he didn't care about the baby and that he would help pick if I narrowed it down to only 2-3 choices for him to deal with. He also really got into it when I put him in charge of the "gun" for in-store registries. I think the pregnancy period is a time when alot of guys feel a little left out and helpless because they have no control over what is going on, and may be worried about whether they will be good fathers. My DH turned out to be a very loving, hands-on Daddy who dotes on his son, and I'll bet your man will be the same way once the baby actually comes. Congratulations!

taprehoda · January 2010

Isn't there a saying that women become mothers when they get pregnant and men become fathers when the baby is born? Anywho, something like that. Regarding registering, I usually give my hubby 2 or 3 options. That seems to help. He wasn't into registering for the wedding, so I don't expect him to be excited about baby stuff either (and I think this is normal for most guys). Actually, that's fine with me...this way, I'll get everything that I want.