New here.
meghan_marie
member
Well, I guess I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Meghan. I am 9 weeks pregnant. I was in a serious relationship at the time I concieved. A few weeks ago FI started losing it. Everytime someone would hug me he would get in their faces and start yelling like a mad-man, screaming at me to not let anybody hug me. He said that they could squeeze the baby to death. He became very overbearing. He started crying all of the time and then about 2 weeks ago, I discovered he was gay.
Wow. How embarassing! How could I have been so blind!! So needless to say, I called the wedding off and returned his ring. I told him I still want us to be friends, and he can still be a father to the baby (despite the fact that I don't want him to have anything to do with raising the baby), but we can't be together. Can you believe he had the nerve to ask why? He said we should be a family because we are having a baby together. I'm not marrying you when you just told me you like boys! So he told me if we can't stay together, then we can't be friends. He is having his mother and father do all of his dirty work to get updates on me and the baby, but I'm not talking to them. I get anywhere between 2-5 voicemails a day from his father and my parents get a call about everyother day or so. He refuses to talk to me though, so until he can grow some balls, I'm not talking. He can text my grandma but he can't talk to me.
He has yet to show up to the appointments even though I give him the appointment dates. He won't even call for updates. The doctor asked me a long list of family history and when I called for his he didn't even listen to what I had to say, I had to repeat myself and the list! His hygiene sucks, his armpits stink and when I call him on it, he says he don't need deodorant because he doesn't sweat a lot. His hair is greasy because he is trying to spite his step-father who tried to teach him good-hygiene shortly after he married his mother. He claims taking a shower everyday dries out his skin. When we first started dating he was very well kept. Shortly after we got engaged the real Josh started coming out. It's disgusting. Therefore, I have decided to not put his name on the birth certificate. And I want full custody.
Is this wrong of me? What would you do?
Re: New here.
Wow! Crazy situation, but I agree that you are doing the best thing by not sticking around AND by not involving his parents when it should be HIS responsibility.
I could never tell you not to put him on the bc. That is a highly personal choice. But I will say from a situation that a friend went though...just remember that if you DON'T put him on, he will never have to pay child support, or provide ANY financial support for your child.
God luck to you and even though I am new also, please keep in touch and pleasse let us know what your decision will be. Take care of you and that precious baby coming!
This is not the case in my state, so check your local laws. My exH was not present at his son's birth and I was told that if he wasn't there to sign the birth certificate, that I had to leave the father part blank. I was married when I conceived so they let me put his name on the bc. You can always sue for paternity and child support later, even if the the father is not mentioned on the bc.
Also, a note about child support - it is not your money. It belongs to the child. Your LO deserves to have it, so don't be afraid to go after your ex for it. Good Luck!
ETA - If you don't mind my asking, how old is your ex? It sounds like you are describing a young teenager. Sexually confused, bad hygiene, his parents are involved in everything. I mean who texts someone's grandmother? If he is very young, there is a chance that he could grow out of it and be a good father. A small chance, but still a chance.
ummm wow. are you able to support a baby? how does your family feel about all this? how does he know he likes boys...has be been with any?
if he cheated on you then i would recommend that you get tested for STD's. in the state that i live in if you are not married then you can't give the baby the dad's last name.
have you decided to keep this baby? how many appts could he have missed if you are only 9 weeks along? GL!
Get 'er Tex!
Get yourself TESTED.
And make sure you go after him for child support.
Good luck; you dodged a hell of a bullet.
I understand that the average population of young mothers are immature, don't have good jobs, etc. But it's really unfortunate that people always jump to those conclusions.
I am 20 years old, 15 weeks pg, and all I get is "Are you keeping it?'' or even an "I'm so sorry". I understand that my age isn't a desriable one to be having a child and ideally I would have liked to wait a couple more years. But that doesn't mean I'm anything but thrilled and excited to be the best mommy I can be. I finished high school while working 2 jobs, put myself through college, haven't lived with my parents since I was 16 but still maintain a good relationship with them, now own my house, own my car, and have been at my stable job for a year and half bringing home about $52k by myself annually.
Good luck to you! I hope you have a beautiful and healthy baby. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this situation, especially while pregnant. Remember that just because you are young and doing it alone, that no matter what anyone says to you, you can be just as great of a mom as a 35 year old married stay at home mother.
Fluffy stuff aside, tell daddy to be to get his *** together before making requests of you and sending his parents to do his dirty work. Go after child support, even if you never use it because of your own principles put it aside and start your child a college savings fund.
Please don't assume that I am stupid. I've been tested.I had a blood transfusion last year, so I've been tested every 6 months for HIV/AIDS and other blood related STDS. That and I went with Joshto get tested before we even began having sex. I have also been tested since then. Apparently he was with one before we got together, he just failed to tell me that.
He also missed 2 appointments (out of the 3 that I've had) He went to the initial but missed both sonograms. I'm high-risk so I've had one by 2 doctors. I have a liver adenoma that grows with hormones (that's why I had to get off the pill), and ultimately how I got PG. It's dangerous to me and to the baby.
mfarrand86- Same here hunny. Just because I'm a teenager people automatically assume the worst.
I am keeping the baby though, and I can support it. I am a full-time nanny so it's not like I'm broke. I make $15 an hour, work 12 hour days and have Tuesdays off. It's about $52K. I'm a full-time student and take my courses via internet. I might have a lot on my plate, but it works for me. I love what I do. I love kids and am thrilled about being a mother. As for my parents, they are so excited about being grandparents. They had me young as well and we were financially sound. My parents are 38 and 42. And both of their parents had them young. My oldest grandparent is 61 if that tells y'all anything. They all did fine.
Look, I don't know why I'm trying to prove myself to y'all, I have nothing to prove. I am a good person and I am very responsible. I will be a good mom. I don't care that I'm young, my kid won't suffer. Hell, I'm raising a kid now and he's not a bad kid. He's very bright and listens well.