getting asked to step down from wedding???

jsandler · January 2010

So my friend asked me to go for coffee with her today. I am supposed to be in her wedding 3 weeks after my due date. I am hoping that she is going to offer for me to step down.

(For those of you who have been following my post... I was also supposed to be a Maid of Honor less than 2 wks before my due date. I let my other friend know last week that I had to step down and she was very understanding.)

The friend who asked me to get coffee today was very upset with me for getting preg so close to her wedding. She never really apologized, so I am wondering if that is why she wants to meet or if she is going to offer for me to step down. I am not sure if she heard from my other friend that I stepped down from being the MOH, but if she did that could be why she wants to meet.

Regardless of what happens, I am going to try to talk to her today about my concern of being able to support her on the day of. I will be a first time mom and am not sure if I will be able to physically/mentally be ready to support her the day of with a brand new baby.

Will update you all later on this. TIA for the support.

rissa06 · January 2010

good luck~

Dreamsicle23 · January 2010

Weddings make people nuts....perhaps more so than pregnancy. If you think that being in a wedding that soon after giving birth isn't a good choice for you then don't be afraid to say so. It's better for your friend to know ASAP so she can make other plans.

Jasmine1082 · January 2010

I remember your first post about this, hopefully she is and you wont have to worry about it. GL and keep us posted!

mhuston · January 2010

I was going to be the MOH in my best friends wedding 3 weeks after my EDD as well. We have a brief arguement when it was time for me to order my dress a week ago. I chose not to order and dress and "sleep on it". The next day I called and explained how honored I was that she picked me to be her MOH and that I love her to pieces, I just know that I would make a crappy MOH bc I will be occupied with my LO and trying to coordinate EBF all day long. She acted like she was expecting this conversation, stating she was glad I realized this, before a week before her wedding. I still offered to throw her shower even though I will be 8 mon along at that time, I have lots of help from my DH and MIL. I think everything is good between us, however she hasn't taken any of my calls and has left me 1 message and a few texts. Who knows? Some girls are a lit nuts when it comes to weddings....

EAng · January 2010

This was an issue at my SIL's wedding. She had a bridesmaid that had a 4 week old. She was still in the wedding and I felt bad for her. She had to leave right after the wedding to go breastfeed and was late getting back for pictures. I would have opted out of the wedding, but that is just me.

MrsEricH · January 2010

People are crazy when it comes to weddings, I swear. She was upset when you got pregnant too close to her wedding? Oh I'm sorry, next time I'll wait to get pregnant until it's convenient for YOU.

I hope you can opt out and she won't be mad (maybe she'll be relieved).

opheliacantswim · January 2010

I hope this goes well for you. I was in a wedding a few years ago in which three of the eight bridesmaids were pregnant--and all third tri. The bride was actually pissy about it, too. She actually bitched that they didn't want to "do anything fun" for her bachelorette party, etc. It was crazy. And she, too, seemed to think they had gotten pregnant purposely to steal her thunder.

Anyway, I would be very honest about not being sure it's a good idea for you to do it--if I were the the bride, I wouldn't be mad at all. GL!

rmaxim · January 2010

Maybe you can offer to do something else to get involved with the wedding that will be easier on you when you have a LO in tow and are still recovering from delivery? Like maybe the guestbook or programs?

I had a cousin who I would have asked to be a bridesmaid but decided not to since she would be 8mos pregnant at the time. I figured it would just be too much even if I didn't expect her to do anything. I'm glad I decided not to because she ended up not even coming to the wedding!

BurnNurse · January 2010

How inconsiderate for you to get pregnant so close to her wedding!

*rolls eyes*

wildfloweragain · January 2010

Yeah, 2 weeks is really soon after having the baby to be ready for that. I was in a wedding (my BFF, she knew we were ttc and THRILLED that we were successful - no issues there) 2 months after and it was okay, but still not ideal. Had to leave to pump a lot, I was way puffy, etc.

Plus, as I think I said before about your other wedding, often 1st babies come late. So in this case it may well be LESS than 3 weeks pp.

yourmomwreckedmybike · January 2010

jsandler:
......I will be a first time mom and am not sure if I will be able to physically/mentally be ready to support her the day of with a brand new baby.....

I think you put it perfectly as above.

stgn01 · January 2010

I thought I was kinda crazy around my wedding but I would have never been mad at a friend for being pregnant. Good luck with this one!

nhstar · January 2010

There is no doubt in my mind that weddings make people crazier than pregnancy. I am going to be in my SILs wedding 6 weeks after my due date. I am honored to be a part of it, and want to be a part of it, especially since there will be a lot of family photos and such, but it has been stressful ordering a dress when I don't know what size I'll be, and knowing that I'll be making my baby a priority that day. On top of that the dress she chose is very fitted, so I'm already feeling self-conscious about how puffy I'll be post baby. Good luck!

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