I'm sorry your husband is helping his family gang up against you. My friend is having this same argument with her husband and in-laws. Here are the things she decided to tell him in the end:
1. I'll have the epi with this child, and you can be the one who doesn't have the epi when you give birth to the next child.
2. There are no awards given out for childbirth. I'll be using whatever pain relief methods that I deem necessary and that my doctor considers to be safe.
3. Childbirth is an ordeal, and everyone involved could use a little drugs to deal with it all.
I'm sorry that you're stuck in this position with some apparently very ignorant people. It seems that you felt pretty sure about having an epi until they opened their mouths - there are a lot of procedures you go through without their opinions - this is one where they need to suck it up and respect your decision. What I recommend you do is educate yourself as much as possible about the decision you want to make. Chances are - your IL's don't actually have medical facts backing up their anti-epi feelings. If you educate yourself on your reason, get the facts, some statistics, if it for some reason ever comes up again, you can fight back with actual facts and put them in their place.
Re: In tears stupid Inlaws and DH
I'm sorry your husband is helping his family gang up against you. My friend is having this same argument with her husband and in-laws. Here are the things she decided to tell him in the end:
1. I'll have the epi with this child, and you can be the one who doesn't have the epi when you give birth to the next child.
2. There are no awards given out for childbirth. I'll be using whatever pain relief methods that I deem necessary and that my doctor considers to be safe.
3. Childbirth is an ordeal, and everyone involved could use a little drugs to deal with it all.