Awkward suggestion for shower — The Bump
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Awkward suggestion for shower

MIL and SIL are throwing me a shower, and we were going over the basics of it last night.  In general, it sounds good, and I have no big issues with what they are planning.

However, my SIL asked me last night if we had a piggy bank for LO already.  They are planning on getting one and putting it out so that people at the shower can put change in it.

I'm really not so sure about this one.  I just don't feel like I can ask people to come to the shower and then, surprise, give me your change too!!

Maybe I can just hide it once I get there!

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Re: Awkward suggestion for shower

  • I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."

    Exactly! 

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  • I have heard of this being a game at showers.  A piggy bank is passed around and IF people want to put some change in it then fine.  If not...fine.  Then everyone (even those who did not participate) made a guess as to how much change was in the bank.  The winner without going over won.  Before the amount was annouced there was a vote (raise of hands) as to whether the people wanted the change or the "prize".  Most everyone chose the prize (which probably cost less than the change in the bank!).  I wouldn't want one unless it was part of a game though.  Otherwise it is sort of like a money tree.  kwim?
  • I have never seen it at any shower I have been to - and the way they were talking about it - it wasn't going to be part of a game, just there. 

    I just know what they are like, and someone's going to end up with hurt feelings.

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  • I don't think anyone would have hurt feelings (guests anyway) but unfortunately if it is there just to request money to be put in it, it will reflect badly on you (maybe as greedy) even though you had nothing to do with it...kwim?  If you mean hurt feelings as far as your hostess if you say no...then I'd just tell them that you figure people are already bringing a gift and you don't feel the piggy bank is necessary...even though it is a cute idea.  Maybe some one could just give your LO a piggy bank for a gift...suggest that?  Tricky situation...and awkward like you said.
  • image EastCoastBride:
    I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."

    I would try this suggestion, too.

    Piggy banks were passed around at one of my showers and DH and I were very uncomforable with it.  Had we known the hostesses were planning to do this, we would have asked them not to.

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."

    This

  • image northtamarack:

    image EastCoastBride:
    I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."

    Exactly! 

    I agree.  :)

  • I would just say you prefer not to have it, perhaps they could put in wishes for the baby in it instead or something.  It reminds me of a dollar dance at a wedding.
  • image mrsmegs06:
    image northtamarack:

    image EastCoastBride:
    I would say this, to be honest.  "Starting a piggy bank is a really cute idea. However, I'm really uncomfortable w/ asking guests to do this.  I'd love for you to pick on out for LO, but I'd rather not have it out for people to put $$ in."

    Exactly! 

    I agree.  :)

    Me too!

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  • I agree that it probably shouldn't be out at the shower, and I think that ame idea is going to make a lot of people really uncomfortable... not only are you unexpectedly hitting them up for money, you're also asking them to guess how generous (or ungenerous) the group is?!  Yikes.

    I don't typically carry around any change, so if I showed up at a shower like that I would totally WANT to donate change to the baby, but I wouldn't have any and would be a little upset that the hostesses didn't warn me that the piggy bank would be there.  I think it's safer to either not use the piggy bank, or if you are, you should let guests know about it in the invitations and clarify that it's optional.

  • At my SIL's shower there was a piggy bank passed around.  The hostess' provided the quarters, and when the bank got to each person, they made a wish (out loud) for the baby and/or mom then put some change into the bank.  It was fun and some of the wishes, especially grandparents/great-grandparents were very touching and sweet to hear.  Just an idea that would still allow you to use the bank if you chose too.

  • I think if they want to give you a piggy bank with a little money inside for LO then fine, but to request guests to add to the bank is a little off-putting. It would make me very uncomfortable if I were in attendance and think that it was over-reaching. I mean, if I arrived at a shower, I would have spent whatever money I had intended to on the gift in hand and would not expect to dole out more $ to add to a piggy bank.

    If it were my shower, I think I'd just say thanks but no thanks.

  • image nooniesgal:
    I would just say you prefer not to have it, perhaps they could put in wishes for the baby in it instead or something.  It reminds me of a dollar dance at a wedding.

     

    This.  I think it's okay to have it out with little slips of paper for guests to write best wishes for the baby, advice, etc, on and put in there.  And then, if guests DO feel generous/inclined they'll put a few coins in as a "surprise" to you.

    image


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