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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
having a hard time...
This is my first post over here (on this side of delivery, anyway.)
My birth story is my last post, so click my siggy if you'd like to read it.
I'm having a hard time. I wouldn't call it PPD, because its not the "I don't feel like caring for baby" stuff, but I'm just hyper paranoid about everything. I cried because someone said that Zoe needed to be wearing a hat.
BFing sucks. It hurts and I dread doing it. I still do it, though, because I feel like its good for Zoe.
I'm afraid to go to sleep in case she needs something or something "happens."
This is crazy and I don't know to handle the newness.
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Re: having a hard time...
Oh honey. Normal normal normal.
I think the stuff you read that says that BFing shouldn't ever hurt is BULLSH*T. It DOES hurt at first and it hurts bad. BUT it gets better. I promise. I have to supplement heavily because my supply sucks, but I started out EBFing and my nipples were a MESS. The only thing that really helped me were these hydrogel wound dressings that the nurses in the hospital gave me. You just stick them in your bra, they're great. One of the nurses told me that Once Upon a Child sells them locally, so I'm sure you can buy some in your town somewhere.
I was crazy about going to sleep at first too. When Sadie was about the same age as your Zoe, I breastfed her in the recliner in our room in the middle of the night, and then I became too paranoid to put her back in her PNP. So I situated the boppy pillow in my lap and arranged it so there was no way she could roll off my lap or suffocate herself, and decided I'd go to sleep in the chair with her. But then I worried that I would flail around in my sleep and somehow hit her with my arms. So I couldn't sleep, and I was just sitting there in the chair staring at the baby in utter despair because I couldn't DO anything but worry. My husband woke up and said, "What are you doing?" I told him and he gently informed me that I was being a little crazy and I needed to put the baby in her bed and go to sleep. I'm telling you this hopefully so you know that you're not alone! At first I couldn't sleep at all except when I knew someone else was holding/watching her, so I only slept when we had visitors to see the baby.
I texted a mom friend of mine and said, "Tell me this gets easier." And she called me and said, "I laughed when I got your text." And I thought it was kind of mean that she laughed at me, because I was just desperate for reassurance, but now I can see how it's pretty funny.
It really does get easier, I promise. The first month I spent praying to God that He'd let me survive this baby thing and not accidentally hurt her in some way, and I would NEVER have another child because I wasn't cut out for this mom thing. Now I really enjoy it and I am looking forward to doing it again in a few years.
((HUGS)) good luck! I'm sure you're doing just fine. I think it would be weird NOT to worry, you know? It's a big, big adjustment!
Ditto pp. We've all gone or are still going through these feelings. I still feel like an inadequate parent. I believe that as long as you're actively learning and researching how to care for your child than you're doing the best possible job that you can do. We all make mistakes (believe me I have some doozies!) and that's just the life of a parent. Don't be so hard on yourself!
As for the BF-ing you've only been doing it for 5 days. It should get better and remember it varies with each person. I hope you stay strong and continue working on it for as long as possible. Things didn't get better for me until at least a month so hang in there!
It's definitely normal! I still wake up in the middle of the night to make sure DS is breathing or hasn't rolled his face into the side of the bassinet.
And I have dreams (nightmares?) where DH gives him formula and he loves it. Breastfeeding is so hard and draining but it does get easier and a lot better.
The best advice I can give is just take one day at a time and sleep when she sleeps! Congrats on your little girl and good luck with everything.
as many others said it's all normal. Each day gets a little bit better. My PP blues went away after about 2-3 weeks. I chose to stop BF because I got so frustrated with my low supply and it was causing me too much stress. Do you have a LC you are working with? I'm sure she can give you lots of tips and advice on making it a little bit easier or at least some encouragement.
Congrats on your LO. You are doing a great job. Being a first time momma isn't easy, and it's a learning experience and a completely life altering event. Take it day by day and you will begin to adjust. Don't be afraid to ask for help! Even if it's just to take a nap for a few hrs.
Congratulations! And let me just say you are doing a great job.
BF is hard at first. Honestly it hurt real bad for me until LO's first appt, and then his pediatrician helped me get him to latch correctly and since then it has been wonderful. Well, not really because it took about a week and a half for my nipples to heal (they were scabbed and bleeding). But by three weeks it was so much easier. And now it actually feels good.
I honestly believe everyone has PPD to some degree for a time after giving birth. The hormones, lack of sleep and lifestyle change can be so difficult. It manifests in different ways for different people though. I still am so scared my baby will die in his sleep that I stay up to watch him breathe and read about SIDS. But let me tell you the death rate is so low it doesn't make sense to lose sleep over it... so if you can avoid doing so, please do. Angelcare Monitors may be capitalizing on the fear of new mothers, but I recommend getting one if it will help you sleep. And remember that Postpartum Anxiety is every bit as serious as depression, so if you find your anxiety is making it hard to function there is definitely help out there.
Things get so much easier over time. Just hang in there and try hard to enjoy him being so small and dependent. It doesn't last long. You can do this.
This!! it really does get better. the first few weeks you're just trying to survive. You will make it through this!!
One word: hormones
It's ok - we all go through things like this whether this is your first child or your 10th. Hang in there and know that things will get better/easier.
CONGRATULATIONS! The birth of your child is so exciting and comes with a ton of emotions. You are note alone in what you are feeling. I remember feeling everything you are and thinking "is this how it is?"- but everyday make a small goal and you will see things are getting better. Mine LO is 6 weeks and i still find it tough to keep up with him-but i will tell you it is a lot better than week 1. week 2 got better.....week 3 even easier. So just know that slowly but surely it will get easier. Ask for help -that is my biggest piece of advice. It is OKAY for others to hold LO while you sleep, or do some laundry, or check your email. Just do something. And find someone to watch her for an hour while you shower and run to the drug store or something. Get outside- it TOTALLY HELPS! Hang in there. You are a wonderful mother and doing a great job.
First of all, What you are feeling is completely normal. We all felt that way.
You're going to have some anxiety, because this is new. It's going to get better. I think you're doing the right thing by talking to other women about it, because I took a long time to talk to others about how I was feeling, only to realize that most other women felt the same way as me.
It's going to get better. I can't even tell you how many times I got up just to make sure DS was breathing... heck, I still check to see if he's breathing sometimes!