Vent: I shouldn't...but I will.
First off....this is a VENT. My Dh isn't a bad guy...he just made a very horrible decision.
I found out yesterday that DH got a Christmas bonus (sweet!)...he got it on the 23rd....never told me....and spent all the money on my Christmas presents and food for our Christmas Eve Party. And it was a good amount.
I found out yesterday...and am still FURIOUS about. He tried apologizing and stuff but I'm just so annoyed. He was hiding money. He said it he would have told me, I would have taken some and he would have had nothing to buy Christmas presents with. I told him...DAMN STRAIGHT I would have taken some. There is NOTHING I need that costs that much. And I definitly could have used it to pay bills. We cannnot afford to go out and buy things we don't "need".
HENCE, the wii is getting returned and the blanket. I am returning everything he got me that can be returned. And not being a biitch or nothing...be he got NOTHING that I even asked for. He got me a jacket (I told him NO clothes...I'm PREGNANT--hello!!!!). I have never had any interest in video games...never. And god, doesn't he freakin' realize we have A MILLION blankets in our house already. We don't need another one!!!!!!! I told him next year I am buying MY OWN christmas presents.
Men and money....F*CK.
Re: Vent: I shouldn't...but I will.
I agree that hiding money is not cool. It violates some pretty basic trust issues. But, to give your DH the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure he thought it was a great idea that would be sweet and romantic.
Sometimes that stuff just doesn't work out.
Hope you guys get it straightened out.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
My present from my DH was admitting that he hadn't paid off the debt he said he had - he claims he did tell me - the kicker is we just put away a ton of money we'd been saving (we're trying to save my entire salary this year so I can buy a year off)...with less than one month's it would have been paid off!!!
Men and Money f*ck - EXACTLY!!!
I want to be in charge of the finances - but, he owns his own business so his salary varies based on the sales...sometimes he has to pay bills straight from the business, sometimes he gets his full check...and, he's scared I wouldn't give him beer money (he's kinda right!)
My DH is like this too - I have to reel him back in. He bought tickets to Cirque de Soleil for our anniversary (5th row at $100/each - we just bought a condo and DON'T HAVE THE $) so I made a big stink and made him sell the tix. I manage our $ too. It's hard when one's a spender and the other's a saver. We do balance each other but I don't trust him to manage it.
The hard part is our family... he told his mom that I made him sell the tix and she bought them for us. Very sweet, but hard to enjoy when you're trying to make a point about not spending/saving $!
Maybe I'm just the odd one out here, but I don't think "hiding" money is automatically a no-no. If I have known about something my DH really wanted (and my mom even did it this year for my dad for xmas), we took a little bit out each month for several months until we had enough. It wasn't hiding like, hiding so we could do what we wanted with it, it was hiding in order to surprise someone with something special you know they want, which I don't think is wrong. I do agree though that hiding an entire bonus and deciding what to do with it on your own isn't okay...but I think he had good intentions.
Also - my DH used to be in charge of the finances - and I got really frustrated about where all the money was going, so I took it over.......and then he got really frustrated. Honestly...I think it's way better for both people to be involved, because that way neither one feels left out, and like they're just getting told what to do. It's both of your money...so why not act like it? Sit down together, create a budget, and do the bills together - that's what we do...and there's no question or frustrations when it comes to money AT ALL in my house anymore. Working together on your money is WAY better than fighting over finances.