do you feel like this?

He makes me crazy... · December 2009

sometimes I feel like I have faded into the abyss and all anyone cares about is my baby. I'm not an AW, but my DH has never been very affectionate (I am the opposite) and now that he's more preoccupied with the baby, I find myself longing for hugs and affirmations. My mom is the same way, except she used to be very affectionate with me and now she just forgets to hug me even when she greets me. It's weird.

So now that things are like this (along with some other reasons), I'm feeling indifferent toward my mom and DH. My mom tried to initiate discussion about it on the phone last night and then hung up on me because she got mad. She basically wanted to tell me that I'm treating her badly and didn't want to hear how I'm feeling. I honestly didn't want to speak with her about it without sorting out my feelings in counseling first because I really don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm so frustrated! I've called to make an appointment with my counselor but I'm sure he's off for the holidays and I'm dying for him to call me back. Anyone else feel like this?

ashdash5 · December 2009

I don't have the same situation as you, but I can relate, esp. about your DH. There are things I think dh's *should* know by now (you like affection and affirmation), but they are still pretty clueless. What I discovered, with my counselor's help, is that as great as dh is he's not a mind reader. I think he should know what is going on, but I have to tell him flat out for him to *get* it. Communication is key--cliche as that sounds. When you guys have a calm moment to talk, tell him exactly how you feel and tell him what you want from him (i.e. Sweetie, I really miss getting hugs from you and having you say sweet things like you used to. I'm going through a hard time with this new baby thing, and I need you to make an extra effort to pay attention to me.). Hth!

jewels_025 · December 2009

I feel the same way. Our friends love to come over and hold DS, but i feel like if he wasnt here they wouldnt come around at all. Dont get me wrong I love their help !!

But FI has lost most affection for me too. He pays more attention to the dog than to either me or DS. He even forgot my birthday. I know where your coming from for sure !

TommysGirl56 · January 2010

For me personally, this feeling is not part of my PPD. However, I believe what you are going through is a very common feeling. It is true, while you are pregnant everyone is so concerned about you. But once the baby arrives, everyone's focus turns to the new little one. I don't think it is intentional on anyone's part, but of course it hurts. I hope you are able to reach an understanding with your DH and mom. I would say talk to a counselor about how to approach them so that they can come to realize that you need their support right now. And for now, you have the support of the people on this board. Best of luck to you!

do you feel like this?

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