Need advice please - really, really rough night...
I am sorry for the length but I really need some advice. We have been home with Evelyn for less than a week and brought Jack home from the NICU yesterday. He is eating every 3 hours and slept well last night. Evelyn is a different story and I am not sure what to do. Please do not flame - I do not expect this to be easy just wondering if there is something I should be doing differently. She was born at 36 weeks 2 days.
1.) She sleeps well all day, in bouncy seat or on back in cosleeper. A few grunts but does well. We wake her for feedings.
2.) A few nights ago she was up from 12am to 4:30am screaming with her little face all scrunched up. When she fell asleep we would put her on her back in the cosleeper and she would immediately wake up and scream again.
3.) If she does sleep in the cosleeper at night it is only for about 10 minutes and then she grunts herself awake and screams.
4.) She was up last night from 9pm until 4am alternately screaming, eating, dosing in our arms and then screaming again. Jack was up most of the night because Evelyn was screaming. She finally fell asleep in her bouncy seat after on and off dosing in our arms until 4am.
Her doc does not think she has serious reflux since she is gaining weight well, which is awesome. She seems to just not sleep well on her back at night.
My husband and I were both up taking care of both kids last night and today we are just wiped out. I feel so bad for Evelyn b/c I do not know if something is wrong or if she is just having a rough time settling at night.
I know this will all pass but in the meantime I am not sure what to do. We are moving soon and will have more space - then we will separate the kids so Jack can sleep undisturbed.
Any advice would be appreciated - not sure how to get her through the night better - poor thing is just wiped out all day b/c of her rough nights.
Thanks!
Re: Need advice please - really, really rough night...
Have you thought about letting her sleep in her bouncy seat at night? Our girls slept in their bouncy seats for the first three months. They just weren't sleeping well in their PnP, so we decided that it would be okay to use the seats all the time. We have recently transitioned them to their cribs (at 3 months old) and they are sleeping pretty well (not great, but better than they would have been when they were a few weeks old).
You could also try buying a wedge for the PnP so that her head is elevated.
Is she spitting up a lot? Even if she isn't, there's something called silent reflux and she may have that.
Sorry you're having a hard time. It's awful to watch your baby cry & not know how to help
P.S. Sometime moms know more than doctors - if you think she may have some type of reflux, I would suggest pushing her doc for some Zantac. It won't hurt her and might help her.
We let the boys sleep in their bouncy seats/swings when it got rough. But I don't recommend that as a long-term solution. We have 7 month olds that refuse to sleep in their cribs now. Maybe she just has her days and nights confused? She's still very young and might not have worked out her days and nights yet. That's not uncommon. Babies can change their sleep habits several times until they get settled. Some can start STTN at a young age, only to start waking up 5+ times a night a few months later. Some don't STTN until 18 months or later.
She might do better as a side sleeper. Benjamin did. We got a crib wedge and propped him on his side and he slept so much better. Now that he can sleep on his tummy, he sleeps for 6+ hours at a time (albeit in my bed, but we're working on it).
Hang in there. I know you probably hear this a lot, but it WILL get better. These rough nights will be a distant memory before you know it. Lots of hugs and good thoughts.
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Is she gassy? The grunts make me think she might be having a hard time breaking down her feedings.
Eden was super scrunched up and seemed so bothered the first weeks (I hear you on rough nights...hang in there!!). I found doing a few extra minutes of burping helped but what really helped, IMO, was adding a half dropper of Mylicon (gas drops--little tumimes has their brand as does Up& Up at Target). The grunts seemed to lessen once she released that gas!
I read through your post quickly, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a rough time right now, I thought it was rough enough having to wake up to nurse in the middle of the night so I can't imagine being up that much!
This is just something I have heard- I'm just going to mention it, I haven't brought my boys. Someone I know mentioned that the Chiropractors can be good for a baby who is colicky (not saying Evelyn is) amongst other things...they will massage the belly (perhaps other parts like back, etc...I don't know) which will often time cure the problem, if there is a problem.
Other MoM might not agree with the use of a chiropractor, I know here in Canada a Dr. will not recommend, but deter you from going to them. I'm just informing you, although if you do consider I would do my homework and look for one that specializes with babies as well as request for testimonial, etc...the lady I'm speaking about had a colicky baby and after a few visits everything was ok- he was born with the cord wrapped around his neck which supposidely pinched a few nerves...
Good luck with Evelyn
Hi-
I replied yesterday about the reflux, like the others, I really think you should talk to your dr more about this, I know some pedis really dont want to try medication but kids can have reflux & still gain weight fine but be really uncomfortable!!! My daughter was very similar, lots of crying & waking at night (and during the day) which got substantially better after going on meds (although if you do go that route, don't expect a huge change overnight, it does take a little while).
I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is so hard!!!! Ditto peakay about happiest baby on teh block DVD, we have used all the methods with DD (who has reflux but was also colicky for a long time & still is a little bit...). It may be that your daughter is colicky also. However, all the screaming during the night & with lying down leans more toward reflux it would seem.
2 of our best soothers for DD: the vacuum ( instantaneously, it is amazing & no one believes us til they see it, i've taken video to send to our families as proof, LOL) and holding her while bouncing on a yoga ball.
Good luck & feel free to vent! I was posting about sleep issues on here constantly I think for like the first 3 months...
Have you considered shift sleeping? That is something else that has been a huge life saver for us & prevented sleep deprivation.
My son was the exact same way. He gained weight like a champ, but had reflux really bad. (His was because of a milk allergy.) One thing that worked wonders was the crip wedge. They are controversal, but seriously saved us. They have them at BRU.
I hope you get some rest soon!
sounds like 2 things to me:
1. silent reflux. We had similar issues with DD when she was born and after several weeks like what you just described we began to keep a log of when she was fussing: ex. ate 3 oz at 9 pm, fussing at 10 pm, asleep at 2 am, etc. That way the pedi was able to look for patterns that may indicate silent refulx or an aversion to the formula (not sure if yours is BF or FF) or if she's BF an aversion to something you are eating.
2. days and nights mixed up. While this doesn't necessarily account for the fussiness, if she's sleeping well all day she isn't going to sleep well at night and this is a habit you are better off breaking sooner than later. She's still a little young to keep awake during the daytime but it's something to start thinking about as time goes on.
I agree with most of the previous posters...I'm actually a NICU RN and see thi A LOT with our babies. 1. Keep pushing for some Zantac from your doctor...it can't hurt. I trust moms word all day before the doctors (sad I know!) 2. Do something so that she's not laying flat to sleep. Either let her sleep in the bouncy or even her carseat. Many babies like the carseat just because it "hugs" their little bodies better than the bouncy. This is TOTALLY temporary...just see if it works. Like some of the PP said...the wedge also works well.
Good luck...hang in there...and DO WHAT WORKS!!!
Welcome to my world! Both of my girls refuse to sleep on their backs. Against all safe sleeping recommendations, I have allowed them to sleep on their boppies (with blakets over the boppies & the "arm ends of the boppies touching" to make it harder for them to slip down in), which is just about the only thing that works. At some point, we had to get some sleep - especially DH who is back to work now.
I have tried so many different things & nothing seems to work. Hang in there & get naps where you can. I just keep trying, night after night, to get them to sleep on their backs in the crib, PNP, etc., and hope that eventually they will just do it. In the meantime, we do what we can to get through the night
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Like a PP, our boys did better sleeping on their sides. We used a crib wedge and propped them on their sides with rolled blankets and the rolls from the sleep positioners. In the early weeks, I think they had a hard time with gas, and we would give mylicom every night to ease any gas pains.
Now they are older, and they don't have a problem sleeping on their backs.