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"my baby"

tlmommy2b:)tlmommy2b:)
in 2nd Trimester

Ok, I am looking for some opinions here. My MIL has been referring to the baby as "my baby". Example: I bought my baby something today. -or- I told my friends that my baby is doing fine. 

This irritates me. I mean, I am the one actually carrying the baby. Am I overreacting?  

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Re: "my baby"

  • Alyssa102Alyssa102 member

    I don't get that irratated at poeple for stuff like that...but I can see your point.  Can she not say My Grandbaby?

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  • MTClaireMTClaire member
    yes, you're overreacting.  just be glad that she's so happy and excited about her grandbaby. 
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  • complex14complex14 member

    The way my hormones are flaring i would correct her next time she said "my baby", i would say you mean "your grandbaby".

    maybe not the way you should speak to ur MIL but ive turned into a hormonal psychotic *** this pregnancy so tough ***!

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  • nonnahs_1nonnahs_1
    My MIL does the same thing.  Like she thinks I am her surrogate.  "Oh, thank you so much for my baby and for giving me this."  "Take good care of my baby."  I know she is just excited for her first grandchild, but it creeps me out sometimes the way she words stuff.  Like she is going to be one of those wackos that cuts the baby out of my tummy and steals it!  she gives me the willies when she says stuff like that, but I know she only means well.  Maybe just try and correct your MIL nicely and say, you mean your grandbaby...?  good luck!
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  • mysticportermysticporter
    Depends on your MIL.  If in general y'all get along great and she's not invasive, it's just a phrasing thing, not a big deal.  If you've had issues of boundaries in the past and think this is a sign she's getting grabby, it would irritate me. Either way I'd politely say something (kind of in a joking fashion), "Hey, I'm the one hauling the kid around, remember?"

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  • tlmommy2b:)tlmommy2b:)
    LOL! I feel the same way. I like my MIL, we get along well. For some reason this just irritates me. I really wanted to correct her but I didn't. Hopefully I will stay calm and polite. :)
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  • tlmommy2b:)tlmommy2b:)

    imagenonnahs_1:
    My MIL does the same thing.  Like she thinks I am her surrogate.  "Oh, thank you so much for my baby and for giving me this."  "Take good care of my baby."  I know she is just excited for her first grandchild, but it creeps me out sometimes the way she words stuff.  Like she is going to be one of those wackos that cuts the baby out of my tummy and steals it!  she gives me the willies when she says stuff like that, but I know she only means well.  Maybe just try and correct your MIL nicely and say, you mean your grandbaby...?  good luck!

     

    This made me laugh out loud!! Thanks for understanding and making me smile! I needed that :) 

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  • tlmommy2b:)tlmommy2b:)

    imagenonnahs_1:
    My MIL does the same thing.  Like she thinks I am her surrogate.  "Oh, thank you so much for my baby and for giving me this."  "Take good care of my baby."  I know she is just excited for her first grandchild, but it creeps me out sometimes the way she words stuff.  Like she is going to be one of those wackos that cuts the baby out of my tummy and steals it!  she gives me the willies when she says stuff like that, but I know she only means well.  Maybe just try and correct your MIL nicely and say, you mean your grandbaby...?  good luck!

     

    This made me laugh out loud!! Thanks for understanding and making me smile! I needed that :) 

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  • kayteatrudeaukayteatrudeau

    It's a little strange but it's also mayb her way of trying to connect with you and the baby.

    I would crack and joke and make light of it.

    My MIL is out of control with excitment. She was coming up with names for about 2 hrs. a couple weeks back and we didn;t have the heart to tell her we already have names picked out. Yesterday, at a family event, she was already guessing the sex. She wants a girl but thinks it's a boy. LOL

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  • Ana35Ana35
    I could see why it would irritate you, particularly if you have a strained relationship with your MIL. My grandmother in-law always refers to my niece and nephew as her babies and it definitely pisses my SIL off, but they don't see eye-to-eye on most things as it is.  IMO to keep the peace I would try and ignore it, though. Despite anything your MIL or anyone else says, it won't change the fact that LO is yours and that you will be his or her mommy:-)
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  • newlywed26newlywed26
    NOoooo not at all.  She doesn't mean it literally.  My mil and parents say this all the time.  I understand it can be irritating, but I also think that sometimes we as mommies and women tend to become a bit overly territorial.  I don't think you're wrong for feeling the way you do at all, but it isn't worth it to me to express annoyance over that to your mil or hubby.  Just my opinion.
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  • jenickjenick member
    I don't think you are overreacting.  My mom did that when my sister was pg. and it annoyed me then!  I tried to slip in that it was my sisters baby...not hers and I think she has remembered that with me.  So far she just calls herself the "baby nana".  I'm totally cool with that.  I don't think there is anything wrong with being a little territorial, it's a motherly instinct. 
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  • BabyH2010BabyH2010 member
    I don't think you are overreacting, but I don't think it's a battle worth fighting. KWIM? Just roll your eyes and let her be excited. I'm sure she knows it's not really "her baby" but "her grandchild"!
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  • jjs2010jjs2010

    ugh, that annoys me.  My MIL does the same thing and my DH had to tell her that the baby is going to live with us.  She already set up a crib in her house and we have bought nothing for our house as it is still early!  I know some MIL's are harmless, but some know no boundaries!

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  • mindurnannersmindurnanners member
    I don't think you're overreacting but that's probably because my mother is doing the same thing! Drives me insane and I correct her every time! If it was my MIL I would probably leave it alone but my DF would say something I'm sure.
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  • aah62709aah62709 member
    I totally get your irritation.  Any time I mention looking at something for the baby she is like ohhh I have to get one of those too.  Umm no you dont the baby will not be LIVING with you.  She told me she has the nursery closet all cleaned out and cleaned all of DH's old toys.  She plans to set up a crib, get a stroller, get a car seat and the list goes on.  I ignore some of it and comment, as nicely as possible, on the other stuff she says.  Little polite comments to her cant hurt..
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  • jjs2010jjs2010

    aah62709....Do we have the same MIL??  ha ha

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  • cdc1982cdc1982 member

    Thankfully, I haven't had that happen (not that I know of at least!).  I think most people in my fam reference me when talking about the baby.

    Personally, I'd find a polite way to mention something to her about it.

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  • wildfloweragainwildfloweragain member
    I know people who talk like that and while it's not my style, it doesn't bother me when it is them in THEIR family (so, someone else's MIL.)  If mine did that though I'd be irked.  MIL did call herself mommy a whole lot when DD was born and it bothered me, especially since at the same time she was trying to take all of my parenting decisions away from me (like bfing because it's "vulgar.")
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  • islandgirl79islandgirl79

    It would irriate me too.

    Maybe next time she says it make a comment about your DH.  "Oh, what did you get DH" Then say "I thought you were talking about YOUR baby, not MINE!  ha ha" 

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  • tlmommy2b:)tlmommy2b:)

    imageaah62709:
    I totally get your irritation.  Any time I mention looking at something for the baby she is like ohhh I have to get one of those too.  Umm no you dont the baby will not be LIVING with you.  She told me she has the nursery closet all cleaned out and cleaned all of DH's old toys.  She plans to set up a crib, get a stroller, get a car seat and the list goes on.  I ignore some of it and comment, as nicely as possible, on the other stuff she says.  Little polite comments to her cant hurt..

     

    It's funny that you mention that...she brought up needing to have a car seat in the same conversation as "my baby". Fortunately this one I felt comfortable addressing and told her we were registering for an extra car seat base and if she needed to transport the baby she could use that. But I totally understand were you are coming from with that as well! 

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