TTC After a Loss

My MIL grew her horns back......

Should've known it would happen.......She just called here's the conversation:

MIL "I just called to tell you it's another boy!" (referring to dh's cousin who is ku)

Me "Well----that's just crazy! I thought she'd have a girl" (referring to the two dozen boys being born around here lately---seriously, out of like 12 pregnancies, like 10 are boys)

MIL "I wanted so badly for you and Jonathan to have a boy. I want him to have a boy. I think daddy's need boys......I guess it'll be up to you and him to populate the world with girls though"

Me "I think Jonathan is fine w/girls. In fact, he'd tell u that if we could have 4 girls, he'd not have a problem having 4 kids." 

Her " Well, I guess. You get what God gives you. You'll have all girls"

Me "If dd isn't an only child....."

MIL "You'll be blessed when it's your time.  God knew Jonathan just wasn't in a good spot last year. You need to just be happy for your SIL."

ME "Did you ever for once think that maybe I'm tired of being happy for her with everything"

MIL "God won't bless you if you're not humble, Bethany"

Me "I don't think God is out to punish me for everything"

MIL "Well I gotta go. Bye"

(And thrown in the mix there somewhere was the fact that I don't speak to my SIL and don't want to be around her and how she's afraid to speak to me about the pregnancy and stuff---and I said that I was fine with it being that way bc I don't want to know and she said something about me being upset all the time............I'm only upset when it comes to dealing with THEM.....I wish they could see that!!!!!!)

 

 

Re: My MIL grew her horns back......

  • I may be the wrong person to reply to this, being that I'm not religious at all....but I think it's pretty horrible of your MIL to blame God for putting you through all of this because you are somehow undeserving.

    Good things happen at bad times, and bad things happen at good times...

    I'm very sorry.

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  • Well, happy new year to you! Sorry your ILs are a pain.
  • I don't believe that God punishes at all.  I just couldn't believe in a God that would do that?  It seems so irresponsible to place the blame on Him.

     

    I do believe that God is there for and with us through our hard times and our good.  

    *~*Mommy to*~*
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    BFP#1 Kaitlyn 11-17-04
    BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
    BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
    BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
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  • imageKelzinBoston:

    I may be the wrong person to reply to this, being that I'm not religious at all....but I think it's pretty horrible of your MIL to blame God for putting you through all of this because you are somehow undeserving.

    Good things happen at bad times, and bad things happen at good times...

    I'm very sorry.

    I could not have said this any better.  It is just not fair...period!!!

  • Oh dear, seems you and I both rolled craps when it comes to ILs.  I'm sorry you had to listen to her.  Some people just don't get it. 
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  • Yikes.

    I don't think I'd be answering her calls. She's not your mother, let H deal with her.

     

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • My MIL is deeply religious and after our m/c she said that this is all part of God's plan.  I know that she truly and genuinely believes that and she finds comfort in that.  Me on the other hand...not so much.  But because she believes that and I know that she wasn't trying to be trite, I didn't feel the need to smote her on the nose.

    That being said - Even if it is all part of God's plan doesn't mean we have to like it.

    Tell your MIL to suck it!

  • imageKelzinBoston:

    I may be the wrong person to reply to this, being that I'm not religious at all....but I think it's pretty horrible of your MIL to blame God for putting you through all of this because you are somehow undeserving.

    Good things happen at bad times, and bad things happen at good times...

    I'm very sorry.

    I completely agree with this. 

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  • If I believed in God, I would most certainly not worship him if I also believed he handed out dead babies as punishment. If God knew your husband wasn't in a good spot last year, why did he let you get KU? That makes 0 sense.

    Since she has grown her horns back, she has a lot in common with one of these:

    image

  • i have to say, i really think you handled that conversation exceptionally well.
  • Thanks girls. I am sitting here sobbing while I type. I am just so angry that I am in this situation. I have no one to really talk to about it.....I called dh, but he was busy at work and couldn't talk much. He tried to console me, but in the end he's a mama's boy and even though he gets angry that she says stuff to me, he'd never call her out on it. When he has tried, she cut him down to the point he gave up.

    This whole thing sucks.

  • I'm so sorry you have to deal with her.  I thought she had really started to get it from your post a few weeks ago.  Guess not.
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  • imagerjl07:
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with her.  I thought she had really started to get it from your post a few weeks ago.  Guess not.

    Me too. Obviously not.

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