Friend advice needed...
Hi ladies! My friend had her healthy, gorgeous baby girl yesterday. We are not too close, but I really like this woman and would love to continue to grow closer to her...
She's a single mom - was in the beginning stages of a relationship when she got pregnant and sperm donor became total douchebag at about 20 weeks...wasn't even in the state yesterday when the little one was born...
Anyway, I keep reading in my baby books to only have visitors that will help when I first bring the baby home and things like that...so, I'm worried that I may be more of a burden...
She promised she'd take me up on babysitting needs and last minute things - but, I really want to go visit her sooner than she may "need" me...
If/when I do go - what do you recommend I offer to do to help (if anything)? I thought laundry, but then thought that I'm so picky with my own, that may be more of stress to her...I can't really afford to buy much - I'll bring over a small outfit (LO is less than 7 lbs - and I know she didn't buy much newborn sized) but, I can't afford to spend much (spent almost $100 on her shower stuff - which is double what I normally spend)...
Anyway...long story longer...what kinds of things would have been the most helpful? Offer to watch the baby so she can shower? Bring a bag of groceries or a dinner? Anything?
Re: Friend advice needed...
You could bring dinner, and offer to watch the baby long enough for her to shower, or take a nap.
You could always be up front with her, let her know you would like to see her and the baby, but that you don't want to impose, when would be a good time, and you would love to help her with something.
Bring food, hold the baby while she showers/naps, offer to feed the baby (if she formula feeds), anything can help a lot.
I've been a single parent since BFP so I went to my parents house for a bit after I had her. I didn't let my parents help overnight because I didn't want to get used to it when I went home. My dad would come in first thing in the morning when he heard the baby (around 6am) and would wait for me to finish nursing her and he would change her diaper and go in the living room and rock her. It helped a ton to just be able to get an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep after that. (We coslept from about birth to 6 months since it was the only way she would sleep.)
I would bring dinner and freezer meals for later. Make sure to call her to see if there is anything she needs you to bring. Make sure to ask if she needs milk or perishables like that. I remember having to send my H about a few times for things I forgot. Maybe let her borrow a few dvds to watch.
Offer to watch the baby so she can shower or nap. You could offer to wash bottles if needed.
See if she needs a ride to take the baby to the doctor or for a check up if you'd be available. I had a c-section, so I'm not sure if there are driving restrictions after a vaginal delivery.
The Swaddle Me blanket was a lifesaver for me. I think they are around $10-15. I know they sell them at BRU and Target. Besides when I took DD out during the first 6 weeks, she pretty much wore a onesie and a Swaddle Me.