Two Under 2
sdrake
member
Did you do anything to 'prepare' your baby for the new baby?
sdrake
member
in Two Under 2
DS will be almost 19 mo. when baby #2 comes. He's obviously the center of attention right now and used to it. Is there any way to prepare them for what's coming? He can say 'sister' and her name, but he obviously doesn't understand. Any tips?
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Re: Did you do anything to 'prepare' your baby for the new baby?
Not so much for the baby but more preparing him for Momma not being at his beck and call.
1. Worked on him getting up and down the stairs with out me physically helping him (walking in front in case of a fall)
2. Worked on delayed gratification. ie: he wants milk. I tell him "Momma will get you milk as soon as I (insert random chore here)." That way he learns that I will tend to his needs but not in the exact moment he wants me to do something for him.
3. Practice playing with him verbally - narrating play, sitting and reading, singing songs, etc. Having these tools as a normal part of his day will help when you've got your hands full feeding or changing baby.
4. Parking lot skills. Per the recommendation of a girlfriend with 3 boys I taught him "FREEZE" (way more seriously than no or stop) and "hands on the car". The second his feet hit the ground getting out of the car his hands go on the back quarter panel of the car (picture someone being frisked by a cop but without the arms and legs spread) until Mommy takes his hand.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
The pp has great suggestions! That's basically the types of things I've been doing as well. DS has mastered the stairs (with me in front of him, obviously) because I won't be able to carry him up and down soon or after my c/s, either. We're working on patience by having him wait a minute or two while I finish up something before he gets his sippy/snack/toy/etc.
I created a routine for leaving the house that makes him more independent as well. We babyproofed our garage so that once I get his shoes and jacket on, he can go out there and play with a few toys while i finish packing up, kennel the dog, set the alarm, etc. I figured this will help when I need to change a newborn, get her into her seat, etc. since one of the things that was worrying me most was how to get 2 kids out of the house at one time. It's really cut down on the time it takes me to get out of the house and cut out any tantrums on DS's part when he has to go in the car- he knows what's coming and gladly goes to "his" car door to be put inside.
This sounds super silly, but upon advice from 2u2 mom friends I've also been cradling and "loving on" a doll from time to time. At first it drove him crazy, he'd come over and poke at it or try to wrestle it away from me, but now he's started to come sit beside me or just ignore me entirely while I'm "tending" to the doll. I feel like a total nutjob doing this, but I do think it's been helpful for him to see me devoting time and attention (even just a few minutes here and there) to someone other than him.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I did a lot of the things already mentioned but I also talked to him about babies and what they do and how to treat them.
We read books with babies in them. I taught him that babies say "wah, wah". When I fed him I would tell him that the baby would need food. When I changed, bathed, read stories and pretty much anything else I did the same, I told him that the baby would need these things too.
Now I'm finding I'm talking a lot about how his sister is growing and soon she'll be able to sit by herself and then crawl and then walk. We've also talked about how only Mom or Dad can feed the baby. This is especially important when he wants to share his raisins and other "choke" foods with his sister...oh boy...lol
No not really, we talked about the new baby and sometimes used a stuffed animal to play with but other then that, he was too young to understand when she first came.
When she was born he was super gentle and then as she got older he started to get a little more rough (because he thought he was playing).
Now they are great friends and she takes his toys LOL...she's tough and he tries very hard not to get mad at her, but he can't help it.
I spent a LOT of time with him since Gabby was a preemie and slept a lot so that he wouldn't feel jealous. He still requires more attention then she does but we take turns spending time alone with each of them on weekends so they feel like they have their own QT