If you are one and done — The Bump
Parenting after 35

If you are one and done

Was it a mutual decision or is one of you driving the decision?  We have been all over the place, but my DS finally told me the other day that he doesn't want any more children.  I have mixed feelings about it.  However, I did know that he only wanted one child when we got married.  I was okay with it then, but now I feel differently.  This is a tough one.  I'm also 38, so I don't have the luxury of time anyway. 

Re: If you are one and done

  • Hello! I'm a mom of one and done (see my blog title). What's driving this decision is less about age?though it plays a role (I'm 39 - 40 in April, DH a year younger)?but more about where we are in life.  Unfortunately neither DH nor I have great careers or well-paying jobs. We rent a condo directly from the owner and are in debt (though keeping afloat).

    I always wanted two children?preferably a boy and a girl, but you can't choose a baby's sex?and it's taken me a LONG time to adjust to this decision. My DH is completely satisfied with one, even though he's the youngest of 3 (I have a younger brother).

    Honestly, after having Aaron I'm feeling more at peace with our "one and done" path.  He's an easy baby (overall) and even so I'm feeling the strain of taking care of him and I don't know if I'm selfless enough to do this again. So we're done.

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    Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013

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  • I envisioned myself having two children. . . but then I thought I wasn't going to have any kids because I was mid-30's and unmarried. . . now I have my one, and we are done.

    DH is the one who first suggested being done after one (he is an only child).  It took IVF to get us pregnant, then, while uneventful, I never felt good while pregnant. . . then I got really, really sick at delivery (HELLP Syndrome at nearly 42 weeks along).  So, now I'm on board with one and so is my OB. 

    I am sad that I will only have one child, but I can't imagine going through ALL of that again.  I love my son, he is fabulous.  I know that this is what is best for our family and I will likely be getting myself "fixed" this spring. . .in a perfect world, I'd be the mom to two kids.  But the world is far from perfect and, at the end of the day, I'm okay with that.

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