Oregon Babies
CaliopeSpidrman
member
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Considering TTC....eventually
CaliopeSpidrman
member
I am considering starting TTC somewhere down the road (minimum of 6 months from now). Because I am a total over-planner, I want to gather as much info as possible now to see if this is even a good idea. I know they always say that there isn't a time where you'll ever feel 100% ready, but I strongly believe that there is such thing as a time when you aren't. So please, dish out all the advice you can give me. Especially when it comes to finances. How much should I expect to pay for day care? What should I do to prepare myself financially, mentally, physically, etc.? TIA!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
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Re: Considering TTC....eventually
Ohh, lots of things to consider....I have just started looking into daycare and have found that it will run us about $400 for part time care. Matt has great insurance and it's only $50 for us all to be on his plan, so this will be a great benefit and money saver for us. Our biggest expense (so far!) has been buying nursery furniture, but we bought one item at a time to soothe the burn. Once baby comes I am sure we will have many unexpected expenses that pop up, so I'm not sure how exactly to prepare for those besides keeping our savings up. Another thing that is important to us is college in 18 years. So in addition to a regular savings we are saving $100 for her college education too. I probably wouldn't be doing this yet, but our financial advisor worked it into how we put money away to our retirement accounts as well.
We were very lucky in that it only took a couple months for us to concieve. I had taken pre natals for about a year beforehand just to get extra vitamins and nutrients for myself. I'm a vegetarian so I also tried to work on getting more protien once i decided to stop taking my bc pills. I'm not big on hitting the gym, and when I do it never lasts! But I was training for Portland to Coast, so i did my fair share of walking in the months before, and few months in to my pregnancy. I felt like this was good for me. It was not strenuous, but it did get me more active, and it was nice to be out in the fresh air!
I'm not sure exaclty how its done, but alot of people chart ther cycles to get the best idea of when they are ovulating. I'm sure you can find info on how to do it somewhere on this site. Have you looked into your your insurance and how it will cover pregnancy? And what your work's policy is on time off for appts and delivery? Of course you will have access to FMLA, but some employers offer extra paid time. You might also want to look into supplemental insurance like Short Term Disability. I am doing this so I can get a portion of what my paycheck will be for the full three months of maternity leave. My sick/vacation time will carry me through about 2 months of my leave. Most STD policies require that you have it for 10 months before delivery, so you should plan ahead if you think you will need something like this.
Whew! Sorry this is long. These are just some of the things i made sure to work out before TTC. Good luck in the next few months!
Hey Caliope! TTC can be difficult but it can also be easy. Everyone's experience is different. It took us about 6 months to conceive. I took prenatal vitamins and charted my temps. Check out ovusoft.com. They have a great website where you can chart and share your experiences w. other ppl. Basically when you chart you take your temp every morning before you get up out of bed. Preferably at the same time. If you look at the chart of a full cycle (starting the first day of AF) you will see a rise in your temp about half way through. That is when ovulation occurs. After a few cycles you will figure out whether you have a pattern and you can plan a lot of BD-ing around that time (I hate that term, it stands for baby dance, but you know what I mean). Even if you do it 2-4 days before O, you have a chance of conceiving.
As far as maternity leave, I was lucky enough to have saved up enough sick leave and vacation time to take 12 weeks off. But I have since signed up for short term disability for the next one, in case I don't have enough days left over.
As for daycare, costs vary. We are at a great in-home place that is $800 FT and includes food. But some centers can be $1000-$1500 a month. At work I have an FSA and DFSA (Dependent Care FSA). I can have up to $5000 taken out of my paycheck per year pre-tax and use that to pay for daycare. Since the amount accumulates over the year, you basically pay daycare and then send in receipts to be reimbursed.
We stuck to simple furniture and didn't spend too much money. We bought an IKEA Gulliver crib for $99 and a Colgate Classica mattress for about the same. We also bought an IKEA Hemnes dresser that we use for a changing table. We bought a Graco Snugride carseat and splurged on the stroller which we use a lot. We got a lot of toys and bouncers etc from friends.
Another thing, if you go back to work after your maternity leave, and you are breastfeeding, check your health insurance, they might cover the cost of a breastpump for you. Mine did!
I hope this helps. I'm happy to answer more questions in the future should you have them.
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Thanks guys! This is a good start. Your info has inspired some more questions.
Is part time daycare hard to come by?
How did you find your current day care provider?
What was your biggest baby related purchase?
How much time did you take off before returning to work (for those who did)?
What was the one thing you wish someone had told you before having a kid?
What was your most surprising pregnancy symptom?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I found our daycare online. They have their own website. They also have really good ratings on https://www.childcareratingz.com/
I think it shouldn't be too hard to find PT daycare, but our daycare lady will have a new rule in January where kids have to be enrolled for at least 3 days. But that's mostly bc she had some kids that were only in once a week and that was really hard.
Our biggest purchase is probably the stroller. It's a Uppababy Vista and was $650. But it comes with a bassinet that you can use for the first 3 months and the seat can either face in or out. The tires are rubber, so you can't get a flat (unlike some of the other fancy strollers) and it maneuvers pretty easily. Other than that the biggest expense is daycare.
What I tell people now is that the first 6-8 weeks are really hard but it's just a phase that the baby grows out of really quickly. In the beginning you're still figuring things out, you're tired, the baby doesn't know night from day and sleeping can be a challenge. But they get the hang of it and so do you. By the time she was 12 weeks old and I was going back to work was when things started to fall into place with naps at certain times and sleeping on a more regular schedule (though she would still wake up a few times each night for feedings until she was 7 months old).
Most surprising pregnancy symptom, my craving for orange juice and for peanut butter. I'm normally not a big PB eater but I loved it when pg
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I can't answer all of your questions as I'm a SAHM but we certainly had to prepare for that.
Our largest expense was the hospital bill/bills! DS cost us over $3k because our BC plan wasn't as extensive as I wish it had been. This time we switched to Kaiser just before TTC to cut that expense and though I'm not happy with Kaiser overall I trust them to deliver a healthy baby and we'll switch back to BC after baby #2 is born.
A few things I didn't know/plan for; cost of clothing, new underwear, bella bands, new bra's, then nursing bra's etc, it adds up quick! Start bugging friends with children for their maternity clothing ASAP and stockpile. Also accept hand me downs from friends who are a little larger than you are now for after baby. Don't spend too much in the beginning, you'll get A LOT bigger at the very end and will be desperate for clothing yet not wanting to spend $$ on clothing that you'll only need for a few more weeks.
Also nobody told me that you don't always bond immediately with your baby. Nobody ever seems to talk about this, especially with your first though I have TONS of friends including myself whom it took about 3 months to really feel that their baby was theirs and they weren't babysitting someone else's child. Personally I felt so bad and would never have told anyone until 3 women in my Mom's group mentioned they had felt like that and I was SO releived that I wasn't the only one. I'd have felt much better if someone had told me this early on.
Also a new baby can be really really difficult and after 12 weeks it starts getting better, by 6 months each new day seems like a milestone heading toward greatness. Just hang in there and realize its only 6 months.
Start your prenatals now, the folic acid is most important right away in early development so taking them after you find out is a little too late. Also start exercising and doing lots of ab work and back work. It'll help you carry, push and snap back to normal if you have really strong ab muscles.
Lastly start going to the Pass it On, Just Between Friends, Twice Around the Block sales etc! You will find great things at amazing prices. Don't be scared to buy early, the costs add up and you should buy yourself everything others won't want to buy for you. Don't save it all until the end unless you save up a lot of $$ for it, we did both, I bought the mattress pads, burp clothes some diapers, wipes, changing pad etc. All things that aren't fun for others to buy you.
Also, babies dont' start playing with toys for quite a while so don't really worry about those except for a few tummy time toys like a mirror.
If you have a small car, either know you will sit with your knees up to your ears for 6 months or so (while they are in an infant seat) or invest in a larger car before hand. We had our carseat installed in my Mazda 3 a few weeks before baby was born and ran straight out and bought a larger Audi A6. I have a bad back and that one hurt to lean over while pulling the straps tight etc. So then we bought an SUV. If you don't mind being a little squished and don't have a bad back, then don't worry about this, tons of people do just fine with small cars.
Accept used items from friends/family and shop at consignment stores. At first you'll want all new, then you put your baby in daycare and they play with things that have been there and a million other kids are playing with. You'll get over having to have "new" very quickly and save a ton of $$. If you know people who have recently had children don't be afraid to buy their old carseats etc. at least for a spare so long as they're not expired and haven't been in an accident. We bought all of ours new for DS and now realize that the "spare" in DH's car is going to have to go in mine when #2 is 6 months or so and we'll need 2 more for DH's car. Trust me I will not be spending another $4-500 for two more convertible car seats.
Oh, and lastly don't buy any bulky infant clothing no matter how cute it is! Its not safe for car rides and it just won't work out. Infants and sweaters just don't mix. I made the mistake of buying tons of cute sweaters that I never ever used. Once they're about 12 months or so its much more practicle.
Sorry for the book, but these are things I wish people had told me.
Is part time daycare hard to come by? I have not had a hard time finding providers who offer part time, but because I am just researchign for a few months down the road, i'm not sure of the availability the places actually have.
How did you find your current day care provider? Googled places near out zip code, and places I know of. There is a small daycare near my parents house. I think I would appreciate having a smaller center than a larger one. I would love to have a nanny/babysitter over daycare, and hopefully the cost will come out to be the same,or cheaper.
What was your biggest baby related purchase? The Crib, $550 or 600, i think. Buy a 3 or 4 in 1, though, to hopefully save soem money on beds downt he road.
How much time did you take off before returning to work (for those who did)? I plan to take 12 weeks off. Most of it will be paid, and I signed up for short term disability just in case.
What was the one thing you wish someone had told you before having a kid? No one told me anything before getting pregnant! I come on this board often, but i have very few friends with kids. I really do feel like i have pioneered through this one on my own and learned along the way. I really feel like my pregnancy has gone smoothly and hope i have a great last month or so. The one area that I am kind fo clueless in has been more the medical aspect, like insurance, tests, and some terminology.
What was your most surprising pregnancy symptom? My hips hurt when I sleep, and it's pretty uncomfortable when i have that dull ache and it wont go away.