Feeling bummed today
and just venting.
My DH called and told me that the only friends we have that planned to have only one child are having their second. I just want to cry...I feel like we are the only couple in the world who will only have one child (I know this is not ,true, of course). And I know I am so lucky to have Marino, but I still feel angry that its not safe for me to have another child, while everyone else we know gets to just base their decision to have children on what feels right, money, etc.
Again, I know it could be worse, but I just feel sad today. Marino will be 18 months old on Sunday and I feel like time is just flying by and soon he will be all grown up and have his own friends, etc. One thing I was really looking forward to with having a second baby was not having that fear of not knowing how to take care of the baby so I could really enjoy the baby time.
Just feeling sorry for myself today...thanks for reading if you made it this far and didn't fall asleep.
Re: Feeling bummed today
I am so sorry. I had one of those days yesterday. I think it all finally hit me. Did you get my email? We've been in and out of town for the Holidays, so I couldn't page you on here to let you know it was coming (new emails always get caught in my SPAM folder).
(((hugs))) I'm sorry you have to go through this. HELLP sucks and has robbed so many people of so many things: healthy babies, full term pregnancies, the life and health of moms and the option to have another pregnancy.
Sara - I feel so bad. I can't even imagine how you must feel. I thought the MFM was going to tell us that same thing and I was physically ill just thinking about it (and maybe she should have, bc now I am scared after your appt).
I don't know what to say except this:
You are an amazing mother to one of the cutest, most precious little boys (you know Lily has a crush on Marino, along with lots of other little girls on this board). I have no doubt you would have been an amazing mom no matter what (even though I didn't know you), but I think your experience has given you the insight to not take any moment for granted. He is so lucky you are his mom and you are so lucky to have him. Cherish every moment, time does go by too fast. If, in the future, you think that Marino should have a little brother or sister, there are still options out there to make that dream come true. And if he is an only child, he won't have to share you guys with anyone and will be spoiled - what's so bad about that?
I'm glad you reached out. I have been thinking about you. (((HUGS)))
Please don't read this as me making light of the situation, bc I do understand how very emotional and painful that news is. I totally get what you are saying about a second baby, almost being a "second chance", it is one of the ways I have coped.
I think that's completely valid.. it's hard not to feel left behind.
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I'm sorry Sara! I can imagine how you must feel and can totally understand how you would be bummed. I know you're thankful that you have one child, but you're allowed to be bummed that you won't have more and others around you are, and often take that option for granted and don't have to give it a second thought.
Want some sushi and a martini?
Thanks, guys. We won't adopt (DH is not interested in that option) and I don't see us going with a surrogate (although my cousin, who's daughter is 12 days younger than Marino, offered). I definately try to follow my instincts and my gut says there may be a reason for this, although I'm not sure what it is yet.
Thanks for listening and being supportive!
That hug icon made me laugh, too! It's a little ridiculous looking! Looks more like someone running after someone trying to catch them! LOL
Back to the OP, I also think those are valid feelings. HUGS. Sorry you are feeling down.
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
I was an only child and turned out okay..
ha ha
We might not have another. We have yet to see the MFM or anything like that, but I really don't want to do the NICU with a toddler at home.. I would completely start the adoption process tomorrow but DH doesn't want to.
So I can relate.
Ack! Sara I was just about to post something very similar. Could you ever consider alternative plans like surrogacy? Just looking for some hope for you. DH says no, I say maybe, the check book says hell no.
((HUGS))
ETA: Crap, just saw your answer on surrogacy. Oh well, I understand completely.