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Stay at Home Moms
ArcticFox
member
SAHMs of 2 kids
ArcticFox
member
I have a 10-week old and a 2.5 year old, and I feel like I am seriously going to lose it.
I feel like everything is out of control. The house is a mess, I get to wash my hair every 3-4 days, I can't get anything done.
And, my toddler gets so little attention. She basically gets no 1-on-1 attention from me and I feel horrible. She watches TV a lot.
I am cranky and stressed out. My DH works and takes classes so I don't have too much help. I feel like I get 20 minutes of quiet time a day. I rarely get naps and I never have "me time".. the 20 minutes is a rush to check e-mail or wash bottles etc.
Any suggestions or support would be awesome... does it get better soon?
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Re: SAHMs of 2 kids
Our children are almost the same distance apart. I have resigned myself to knowing that someone will be crying at some point most of the day (and that includes me!). It's tough and I too only wash my hair every couple days, but it's better for me because my hair is so dry. I see that as a positive
It's tough and I just keep thinking it will only get better. Hopefully you can find someone in your area to give you a break once a week or so. Or how about a gym daycare? Working out is my stress relief. GL!
I'm kinda in the opposite position.
DD is 5 months, DS just turned 18 months. when it gets really bad t.v. is my friend - especially the Wonder Pets. Flame away
I got it easy though....DD started STTN @ 6 weeks (DS still doesn't though we ignore him as best we can). They pretty much nap at the same time in the afternoon....most days.....sometimes not though.
DD is very laid back though and DS is the one who usually gets more attention at this point in time but DD is content to sit in her jumperoo or swing if I need her too be.
I'm kinda afraid of when they will start to play together though as DS is already jealous and thinks ALL of DD's toys are his!! He even sits in her travel swing and her Kickin Coaster and gets PI**ED when I put her in them.
GL too you!!!
It does get easier. It all depends on a lot of factors though. If you have any help, it gets easier sooner, as you get breaks and feel more "refreshed". If your child STTN early on, then it's easier. DS JUST started to STTN and he's ONE!!!! (I've had 3 bad sleepers).
I don't really get a lot of quiet time, since the girls don't nap. DD#1 cut her nap at 2YO and DD#2 cut it at 20 months. DS is the only one that naps right now.
Both DD#2 and DS REFUSED all bottles and I EBF, so I couldn't go too far for a while. DD#1 was the only one that took a bottle.
I never get a nap, since the girls don't nap. I do get "me time" at least 2x per week, and I have a Mom's Night out and a knitting group that meets 2x per month, and date night with DH. So, I feel a bit more energized.
ALWAYS take care of your older one first. Get your daughter set up doing something while you need to take care of the baby - art project, reading, etc. We're not a big TV watching household, so TV is only on when DS naps - the girls will get 1hr-1.5 hours to watch something.
When your little one takes a nap, tell your older one that she gets "mommy special time" and really play it up for her.
GL!!! Right now, you're in survival mode. Hang in there!
I have an almost 3 year old, a 16.5 month old and a 2 month old. I feel crazy half the time. Actually more than half the time! But I do use the TV more than I should, but when there is chaos, sometimes thats the only thing I can do to calm everyone down. I am done feeling guilty about the TV. DD learned her alphabet from watching Super Why on PBS. I do lots of other stuff with DD1 when DD2 is sleeping. I try at least one "special" activity with just her each day. Sometimes its baking (she loves baking), play dough, playing with beans (a sensory thing--she can pour/count/sort/dump, whatever she wants), playing with other toys she can't play with in the living room when DD2 is awake. (DD1 does not nap anymore.......definitely not by my choice!!!!!!!!!!!)
During the day, I just do what I can. I rarely go to the bathroom by myself, and if I do, I totally have to sneak away.
Good luck to you---I know how you feel exactly. Our house is a disaster, stressed out, etc............. yikes. I'm hoping it will get better soon.
My kids are 21 months apart, but they are now 3 years old and 15 months old. BUT- I can remember those days like it was yesterday! I also didn't have any help- no family in the area, and DH doesn't get home until 8-9 pm- AFTER everything is done, of course! Regarding your toddler, don't worry about it. I'm sure you are giving her more attention than you think, just not as much as before the baby came along. This is ok- she is learning that mommy has other priorities. And kids at this age like to play alone still. As for the tv, do what you have to do to get by. If tv helps, so be it! I would have LOVED for my DS1 to watch more tv when DS2 was a newborn- but he just wasn't into it. Now he loves tv, and I let him watch it (not all day of course!) but when I need to unload the dishwasher, make dinner, go through mail etc. I need him to be occupied and this helps.
Does your older one still nap? If so, hold the baby and rest in bed/couch while your older one naps. Not the same as "me time" but a break, and you need it, your baby is only 10 weeks old.
Everyone says this but it WILL get better. My DS2 didn't start sleeping through the night (8 hours!!!) until he was 10 months old and I found myself wishing his months away b/c I was always so exhausted. Now, I find myself wishing he was a newborn, wishing DS1 was 2 and that I could go through it all again. It really will get so much better soon, and you will start to enjoy it all. Good luck!
I really shouldn't have opened this post
I hope it gets better for you, hang in there!
For me once the baby hit 3 months everything changed. ?I can't explain why but everything just started coming together then. ?Until that time I was convinced I was never going to get the hang of handling 2. ?Everything was a disaster and then it just started working. ?
My baby is 8 months now and we are having so much fun! ?Having 2 kids is so much more fun for me. ?I can look back at those hard times and long sleepless nights and say it was all worth it now. ?
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What's working for me is I have a schedule and I try to stick to it-I buffer extra time b/c everything always takes longer. I'm not ashamed to use TV to get through, especially in the evenings when I'm trying to get the baby down and make dinner. My baby still sleeps a ton and isn't on a nap schedule yet, so I know this will change shortly, but I need a routine to keep me sane!
Here's our day:
6-7am breakfast
7-9am play, work on to-do list
9-10am get ready to go out
10-12pm play, crafts, playgroup, errands, park, etc.
12-1pm lunch
1-3pm 3yr old naps, work on to do list, prep for dinner
3-5pm play, crafts, playgroup, errands, park, etc.
5-6pm dinner
6-7pm baths
7-8pm bed