RE: Second showers being tacky

seanswife · December 2009

I agree that if family/friends insist on throwing a 2nd, 3rd, 4th shower then so be it! Nothing wrong with that whatsoever! If the mom insists on one herself than THAT'S tacky.

There IS one thing that does really bother me though...I'm not sure why, but it just seems like it's common sense.

We got ALL gender neutral stuff the first time around....we were on team green anyway but even if we weren't we still would have done gender neutral for all the big stuff because we knew we wanted another child eventually and that way we would already have all the stuff we needed. SO, we have everything we need for this baby already.

IT REALLY BOTHERS ME when people register for and get really gender-specific stuff when they know damn well they are going to have another child. I guess if you're willing to buy everything new yourself again then more power to you, but to me it's such a big ridiculous waste.

All this being said, I do not want a shower for this baby and will probably politely decline if anyone insists, but only because I don't really enjoy being the center of attention and we really don't need much.

All this being said, I DID set up a small registry that people can use or not, so that if anyone wants to help out and asks what we need, I can direct them there. I put a variety of small stuff on there, like replacement pillows for the wipe warmer, and I also put a potty for our daughter, a car snack tray, etc. Again, they don't have to use it, and I'm not going to advertise, but if people truly want to know what we need, they can look there.

FutureMECC · December 2009

seanswife:

IT REALLY BOTHERS ME when people register for and get really gender-specific stuff when they know damn well they are going to have another child. I guess if you're willing to buy everything new yourself again then more power to you, but to me it's such a big ridiculous waste.

I agree!

amygauntt@windstream.net · December 2009

Well, we got a girly travel system, bouncer, high chair, basically everything we got EXCEPT the bassinet & swing, is girl. Why does it matter? We didn't know if we wanted more, I HATE all the gender neutral, and I'M the one buying the new stuff (selling all DD's stuff). I'm not asking anyone else to buy it, in fact, I didn't even register for that stuff to begin with, WE are responsible for that kind of stuff, I would never ask someone to buy that big stuff for us.

So, if I want to spend the extra, and have the money to do so, why is it a big deal to you, you aren't buying it. And actually, after I sell the stuff we have to replace, I will be spending very little to get new stuff.

CrystalDaun · December 2009

Agree. We did the same. The only thing non gender specific was the pink boppy seat. It only came in pink or blue when we registered. I went out & bought a FP bouncy for baby #2. My BFF insisted on a sprinkle but only w/ our small group of friends (8 of us) because they all wanted to. She also had me do a small registry. 95% of it is under $9.99, just some replacement things. I did take her advice & put the carseat I want since we'll have to buy a 2nd one. She said "get the completion coupon, save yourself some $". I told her to let our friends know why it was on there though. But we're all mom's, I'm sure they know I wouldn't put $9.99 & under items & then a $100 item LOL.

MrsBalletStar05 · December 2009

seanswife:
IT REALLY BOTHERS ME when people register for and get really gender-specific stuff when they know damn well they are going to have another child. I guess if you're willing to buy everything new yourself again then more power to you, but to me it's such a big ridiculous waste.

Why does it really bother you what other people are doing? Confused If you have a problem with it, don't buy the stuff on their registry, or don't go to their shower.

I've never understood why people are so concerned with what others are doing in their own personal lives.

gmugrad9 · December 2009

we went with paterns of our stroller, pack and play, car seats that can go either way except for DD Britax Marathon. She really liked the pink one but for 60 dollars we got a different cover for it that isn't gender specific.

mysticporter · December 2009

It doesn't bother me if someone registers for/buys gender specific stuff (kind of a what-do-I-care zone). But if they have a second kid of the opposite gender and a registry shows up asking for everything over again, I'll admit I'm going to enjoy an evil little serves-you-right moment.

gmugrad9 · December 2009

amynjay:

Well, we got a girly travel system, bouncer, high chair, basically everything we got EXCEPT the bassinet & swing, is girl. Why does it matter? We didn't know if we wanted more, I HATE all the gender neutral, and I'M the one buying the new stuff (selling all DD's stuff). I'm not asking anyone else to buy it, in fact, I didn't even register for that stuff to begin with, WE are responsible for that kind of stuff, I would never ask someone to buy that big stuff for us.

So, if I want to spend the extra, and have the money to do so, why is it a big deal to you, you aren't buying it. And actually, after I sell the stuff we have to replace, I will be spending very little to get new stuff.

I don't think it bothers her that you did that but this is in response to second showers. It is more about the people the register for all pink stuff the first time (big ticket items) and then want a second shower because they are having a boy the second time and register again for all the same big ticket items just in boy colors. It is different if the parents want gender specific and are willing to buy everything but the ones that regiseter over and over again for pack and plays because one is pink and now they want blue is annoying.

scubaspot · December 2009

amynjay:
Well, we got a girly travel system, bouncer, high chair, basically everything we got EXCEPT the bassinet & swing, is girl. Why does it matter? We didn't know if we wanted more, I HATE all the gender neutral, and I'M the one buying the new stuff (selling all DD's stuff). I'm not asking anyone else to buy it, in fact, I didn't even register for that stuff to begin with, WE are responsible for that kind of stuff, I would never ask someone to buy that big stuff for us.
So, if I want to spend the extra, and have the money to do so, why is it a big deal to you, you aren't buying it. And actually, after I sell the stuff we have to replace, I will be spending very little to get new stuff.
I am sure that the OP was referring to people who register for gender specific things and then register for the same items again for their second child with the intent and hope that others will purchase these items for them. If you are paying for all these things yourself then that puts you in a different category. There are however lots of people who ask others to purchase them large ticket items that they should already have from a previous child.
I would be more inclined to purchase a larger item like a stroller if it were gender neutral but that is just me.

amygauntt@windstream.net · December 2009

gmugrad9:
amynjay:

Well, we got a girly travel system, bouncer, high chair, basically everything we got EXCEPT the bassinet & swing, is girl. Why does it matter? We didn't know if we wanted more, I HATE all the gender neutral, and I'M the one buying the new stuff (selling all DD's stuff). I'm not asking anyone else to buy it, in fact, I didn't even register for that stuff to begin with, WE are responsible for that kind of stuff, I would never ask someone to buy that big stuff for us.

So, if I want to spend the extra, and have the money to do so, why is it a big deal to you, you aren't buying it. And actually, after I sell the stuff we have to replace, I will be spending very little to get new stuff.

I don't think it bothers her that you did that but this is in response to second showers. It is more about the people the register for all pink stuff the first time (big ticket items) and then want a second shower because they are having a boy the second time and register again for all the same big ticket items just in boy colors. It is different if the parents want gender specific and are willing to buy everything but the ones that regiseter over and over again for pack and plays because one is pink and now they want blue is annoying.

That's not at all how she worded it.

lildevil968 · December 2009

We registered gender specific with DD because we where not planning on having another DC, this LO caught us by surprise. We registered gender specific for this LO because mommy's goin under the knife 3 days after his arrival!

wankle1234 · December 2009

MrsBalletStar05:
seanswife:
IT REALLY BOTHERS ME when people register for and get really gender-specific stuff when they know damn well they are going to have another child. I guess if you're willing to buy everything new yourself again then more power to you, but to me it's such a big ridiculous waste.

Why does it really bother you what other people are doing? If you have a problem with it, don't buy the stuff on their registry, or don't go to their shower.
I've never understood why people are so concerned with what others are doing in their own personal lives.

Agree, this is under the what does it matter. I guess some people like hearing, "what a cute baby, what is it?" If second showers are tacky to you then don't attend or throw one. I'm more bothered about the women who threw her baby in dumpster after giving birth and real problems of the world, where's all the good flamers when you need them for these posts, third tri?

sherina825 · December 2009

wankle1234:
MrsBalletStar05:
seanswife:

IT REALLY BOTHERS ME when people register for and get really gender-specific stuff when they know damn well they are going to have another child. I guess if you're willing to buy everything new yourself again then more power to you, but to me it's such a big ridiculous waste.

Why does it really bother you what other people are doing? If you have a problem with it, don't buy the stuff on their registry, or don't go to their shower.
I've never understood why people are so concerned with what others are doing in their own personal lives.

Agree, this is under the what does it matter. I guess some people like hearing, "what a cute baby, what is it?" If second showers are tacky to you then don't attend or throw one. I'm more bothered about the women who threw her baby in dumpster after giving birth and real problems of the world, where's all the good flamers when you need them for these posts, third tri?

So glad someone said this. If I didn't invite you then why do you care? If I did invite you and you don't want to come, then that's fine too. Really not a big deal.

I think the whole idea of second showers is specific to the person. In my family/ circle, someone will offer to throw a shower regardless of how many children the person has already. It never occured to me that it is "tacky" or "rude". But I also never thought to get a fake or cheap wedding band because mine didn't fit because I was pregnant. Just something else i got introduced to by being a bumpie.

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