I know I'm going to get flamed for this somehow...I can just hear pregnant women everywhere gasping in horror but I don't like it when baby kicks me!!
The little taps were no big deal, a kick here and there I could handle but last night I saw the poke & push of a foot and it moved along my stomach forEVER! Ladies, I know alot of you LOVE this feeling. It bonds you, you feel connected, you smile etc..I wish I could be that way too but seeing that sent me into SUCH a panic last night. It didn't help that DH had left for work and I was alone and crying. (again, sounds stupid to some of you...I know) I wanted to call him and tell him to come home from work but that would have been ridiculous. And at 10pm...who do you call when your hysterical and crying over the fact that you don't like whats happening to you! I sound like a freak!
I just don't like BEING pregnant. I don't like looking like this, or feeling something moving around inside of me. I want my body back to myself and I feel SO guilty about it. Am I the only one?
My husband can't wait for us to have this one se he can get started on the next and I seriously don't want to do this again. He makes jokes and says having 2 kids was part of the "agreement" when we got married. And if we don't have a boy on the next one, we go for #3! If not...he's drawing up divorce papers. Now I KNOW he's kidding but there's a small part of me that really wants to say NO MORE....I'm having one and THATS IT. Leave me if you want to but I'm not doing this again.
Dramatic....? Yes..I know. I'm having a drama queen sort of morning but I can't figure out how to just enjoy all of this. Is there a secret to it or do some of us just naturally love what were going through and some of us hate it for 9 months?
Re: Freak out with kicks..(kind of long)
Oh, I don't think you're alone. I think a lot of women don't enjoy being pregnant. And the baby's movement can be downright uncomfortable.
Do something nice for yourself... have a nice bath, get a pedi... it will be all over in a few weeks. Hang in there.
I dont like being pregnant either, and before we got pregnant I was CERTAIN that I wanted 3 children. Now, I want them to tie my tubes when this one comes out...(i wont dont worry) there is no secret to enjoying being pregnant, it is different for everyone. I hear my MIL tell me all the time that I need to enjoy this time...and cherish it...ugg, but for the love of God I cannot wait to have this child and get back to myself again.
I dont mind the kicking part, I mind that I feel like my stomach is too small for this baby. I feel like a water balloon that has been filled too much and is about to pop! lol but it is very uncofortable at night when I try to sleep and LO kicks me and shoves around and I get...oh 2 hours of good sleep.
dont worry though, this pregnancy is almost over for you, and just think, you will have a beautiful little baby that will be SO worth the 9 months of agony. and before you know it, you will be back to your old self, and i guarentee, when your baby isnt a baby anymore...you will want one again! i dont know why it happens but it does! Try and relax as much as you can, do some yoga, and dont stress that you are the only one, because you arent..and those thoughts will just make you more stressed out than you need to be.
sending happy thoughts your way!!!
i feel bad that you're having such a negative pregnancy experience, just try to hang on, you're almost done. not much you can do about the kicking, it's a bit of the old 'ten pound load in a five pound bag' phenomenon going on.
sometimes no amount of preparation or expectation will line up with what ends up actually happening, but you still have to somehow cope with reality.
good luck with getting on the same page with your husband on the potential for future children. speak up about your feelings and make sure he understands
This..plus I do feel like things are different for everyone...there are probably lots more women who agree with you but won't dare say it out loud...good luck!
I can't thank you girls enough for taking the time to give me your advice.
It's nice to have people to listen when you feel like your loosing your mind. I really appreciate what you've all said and if it's true that every pregnancy is different, then maybe doing this again won't be so bad. I'm hoping I get use to the rolling ju-jitsu kicks thats she's starting doing this week.
xoxo
I'm right there with you... I hate being pg. I could definitely be happy never doing this again, but I want more kids. I'm just hoping that after this one comes out, next time (if I'm this miserable again) at least I'll KNOW it's all worth it. I tell myself it will all be worth it now, but everyone says you just don't understand how wonderful motherhood is until you're there, so I can't say right now that I KNOW it's worth it.
I also have to tell ya, you're 29 weeks, I'm 34, the kicks get harder and more frequent. Sorry.
Not all women love being pregnant. It feels foreign to them. I don't think you're a bad person for not enjoying and cherishing your pregnancy.
I loved being pregnant the first and second times around. I had text book, perfect pregnancies and could not wait to get pregnant this time. I think either God has a weird sense of humor or is trying to tell me that I don't need more children after this because this pregnancy has been one big surprise after another. I've been through more this pregnancy then I ever imagined was possible. This pregnancy has really turned me off to having more babies. My body has not handled being pregnant well at all. While I love feeling the baby move, that's the only thing I have loved about it. I could do with out the placenta issues, bladder infections, yeast infections, protein in my urine, swelling and PTL.
This is exactly what I was thinking, but they keep getting stronger after 34 weeks!
I don't love being pregnant either. I am miserable and I am not sure if I am going to want to do this again. I hope the next 11 weeks go by quickly for you or that you find something to keep you going because unfortunately it seems to only get harder at the end.
I am not loving being pregnant either.
Now that morning sickness has slowed to only 1 or 2 days a week, I am thinking I can do it again, but for a while there I told DH it was one and done. I most certainly will not be having another one in the next 2 years; there is no way I would turn around and do this again with a baby to take care of, too!
DH and I did talk about adoption, too, when he saw how miserable I was. If you truly do not want to be pregnant again and want another LO, it is something to consider.
Try not to feel guilty for not loving this. You are not alone!
DS- Wesley- March 14, 2010
This exactly. Hang in there!