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Question about "time out"

chinchinbridechinchinbride
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

DH and I have not really used "time out" on our 2 year old.  Just wondering what is the best way to introduce this.  It seems like when DH and I try to do this to our DS he does not get it.  My meaning of this is that he tells us "he wants to take a nap etc" and just hangs on to us."  We tried to sit him down where time out is at he stands up and then we try to do the same thing.  What ends up happening is that somehow he manages to not sit their for the amount of time he is suppose to.

Also, do you also use the same rule you have at your home in public also?

My other question is that when do you "really" use time out?

Please give me some advice on this I really want to do this correctly and effectively.  Thanks Ladies....

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Re: Question about "time out"

  • roseroseroseroseroseroseroseroseroserose member
    We don't use timeout often at all. Only when DD needs to refocus and can't on her own. My pedi said you can put her in your lap facing away from you to teach the concept. I just put her in her room and ask her to come out when she is sweet again. I don't shut the door unless she's trying to come right out. Sometimes she will whine for a min and then come out and other times she will play with a toy and come out normal. :)
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  • Mere7706Mere7706 member
    We put ds in timeout when he needs to refocus or if he's being nasty (starting to hit or kick/bite).  We have a little rug that is his timeout spot. We often will sit with him on our lap and not talk to him or allow him to play with toys.
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  • MamaNikkiMamaNikki

    We try to use it for the more major offenses.  Hitting usually.  Because he knows he shouldn't hit, and does it when he is not getting his way.  It's a little wicker chair that was mine when I was one!  At first we had to return him to the spot several times before he would stay.  He doesn't have to sit on it, but as long as he's in the vicinity, we're fine with it.  He can stand, sit on the floor, whatever. 

    He also gets a timeout of sorts when he's throwing a tantrum, although we call it a "cool down".  After I've tried to talk to him and validate his feelings ("I can see that you're frustrated...I know you're angry...etc.) and redirection isn't working, and he just needs to scream and cry and let it out. 

    He knows the drill now.  If he goes for a "cool down" once he is done crying, he will tell us, "I'm done," and we go about our business.  So he knows what the purpose of the cool down is now.  If he needs to vent his frustrations he can, but he sits in his spot, and knows that when he's done he can join us again.  It all just takes repetition and consistency.

     

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  • st.lucia bridest.lucia bride member
    We have the 'naughty stair', I'm not sure where I picked this up from, maybe supernanny or J&K +8 (oh no!).  I figure if we are at someone's house and she acts up they usually have stairs too so the punishment is consistent.  What we do is, if she is throwing/kicking/hitting then we first give a warning and if it continues we say she has to go sit on the naughty stair.  Then we go to the stairs and sit her down and get down to her level and ask her what the rules are.  She knows what she did wrong so she'll say 'no hitting' or whatever she was doing wrong.  We'll ask her if she understands that it's not ok to hit, when she says yes we ask her to apologize and she does and then we say 'I love you' or high five or something and go back to playing.  Sometimes it takes a little bit to get her attention enough for her to say that she shouldn't have been doing the bad behavior but usually it's quick and it seems to work for us.
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  • momofoliviamomofolivia

    we've really stopped using timeouts.  When we did use them, we used them only for major infractions - hitting, biting.

    We visited a couple pre-schools (Montessori and a child-development center at a university) and I really liked their techniques.  it's not time-out, but just time away.  We use these now for the most part.

    The Montessori school just tells the kid to go to the nearest chair and sit until they are ready to "be nice", "not hit" etc.  The other school had a "safe zone" - pillows, pictures of family.  Both are still in the open, and allow the child to get up at any point.

    I really like these concepts because it puts the child in charge of their emotions.  Instead of time out in a closed room/crib where the parent decides the timeout is over (1 min for each year of age), these allow the child to decide when the time away is over, once they have controlled their frsutration.  It really gives the child the ability to be in charge of their feelings.

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