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Oh no!

JenJarJenJar
in Upstate NY Babies
Remember my friend struggling with IF?  The one with a negative IVF right before Christmas?  Well our other friend, the only other person that knows about her struggles and the IVF, just called me in tears because she found out today she's pregnant and feels so guilty and doesn't know how to tell our other friend.  I feel so bad for them both....For S because it's been 3 years of trying, yet T only tried for 2 months....and for T because she can't even get excited about the baby because she feels so guilty.  IF sucks!
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Re: Oh no!

  • MelissaSue81MelissaSue81 member

    Oh no.. That stinks.

    Hopefully after some time, S will be able to be happy for T.. but it definitely might take some time. 

    She should definitely tell her in person, and probably not around other people.

    I didn't try for anywhere near 3 years (it was just over 1 year all together..) but I won't lie.. there were a couple friends whose pg announcements STUNG. But.. I was happy for them too.

    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
    m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
    Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
    imagebabies
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  • jnk062602jnk062602
    It is hard.  I got pg on birth control pills so was not even trying.  And now that I have been on the bump and reading about people trying to get pregnant, I have a much better understanding.  I still feel guilty about that I have 1 friend that has been trying a long time and then we go and tell her we got pregnant without even trying.  We were going over for dinner and bring our dog to play with hers.  And we had the dog wear the big sister shirt which is how we told our family.  And I knew about their struggle to get pg....but I didn't really get it until being on the bump.  I wish for a do-over on that, although I also know that she knew I wasn't trying to be hurtful.  I wish that I had told her in private or maybe even over the phone so that she wouldn't have been bombarded with it and even had space for herself if she was upset (happy but upset you know?).
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  • June4bride2beJune4bride2be

    That's a toughy, I am not sure it can be shared any possible way without hurt feelings.....but the sooner the better.

    I found out about my step sisters 2nd pregnancy via her calender , I was trying to see when we were at whos house for a dinner and saw the weeks being counted.....it hurt. It would have hurt less if she would have told me, but she was trying to wait hoping I would have gotten pregnant before she had to spill the beans! Deep down I was happy for them, but also pretty bitter than she was able to conceive #2 before I could get #1. I nearly refused to go see her in the hospital, but my dad urged me to go. We did and survived.

    Like pp mentioned, I would urge her to do it soon (even if she is only a few weeks) and do it in private. God forbid something happen, she will be even more hurt to find that out if she didn't know about it to begin with.

    I hope it all works out, the timing is off.....but every baby is such a blessing!

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