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I am feeling completely defeated.

Jenny102783Jenny102783 member
in TTC After a Loss
I am feeling completely defeated. I thought, by now, I wouldn't have these self-pity thoughts anymore. I felt better and was really excited to start trying again...but I can't seem to ovulate. I know this is only my first month back in the game but if I don't ovulate, I'll never have a chance. I am so incredibly frustrated. Anyone care to join my pity party? If so, please bring wine and chocolate. Ahh.
Natural Miscarriage 12/10/09 at 6W4D. Lilypie First Birthday tickers Photobucket
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Re: I am feeling completely defeated.

  • SonadoraSonadora member
    ::passes wine::
    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • sweetbossom83sweetbossom83
    Sorry hun.. It is really hard to wait. I had to ovulate twice before I could try again.. try and hang in there. it will happen ((hugs))
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  • JuJuBe3JuJuBe3

    ::picks up a couple pounds of Godiva chocolates::

    I'm right there with you.  This is our first month at it again and so far no + on the OPKs.  It should be any second now, but I feel the frustration rising that it hasn't happened yet.

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    Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
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  • sydney0928sydney0928

    Are you charting? What makes you think you are not ovulating?

    I know how you feel, in many ways the first month can be very hard because you are waiting and still grieving.

    BFP #1- 1/16/09- Baby Ava stillborn at 32 weeks, possible cord accident, 7/30/09
    BFP #2- 1/5/10- Baby Jack born at 37w2d, 6lbs 13 oz, 8/24/10
    BFP #3- 7/30/11- Baby Boy Due April 3, 2012
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • ShellShockedMamaShellShockedMama member

    First, take a deep breath.

    Second, do you know you're having ovulation issues, or do you fear you do? Did you have ovulation issues prior to your bfp?

    You cannot base ANYTHING your first cycle after a loss and it's been, what a little over two weeks, according to your ticker. Your hormones are  completely crazy/loopy/weird. So try not to worry, it's way too early to psych yourself out!!!

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
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  • 3ltlones3ltlones member
    I'm sorry, I hope that your body figures out what it is doing soon.  I completely understand the self pity....I wish I could be done soon but it comes back on occasion. It's normal......or that is what I am going to go with.
    DD(9)DD(5.5)DS(3)DS(born 2/1/11) July 2006, lost a baby at 8 weeks, natural miscarriage , May 2009 lost Zoe Eliana at 17 weeks no reason known, possible under developed organs. Lost two more babies in September 2009 at 7 wks 4 days. Had myomectomy surgery to remove a large fibroid in November 2009.
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  • Jenny102783Jenny102783 member
    imagesydney0928:

    Are you charting? What makes you think you are not ovulating?

    I know how you feel, in many ways the first month can be very hard because you are waiting and still grieving.

     I started charting after the miscarriage. Here is my chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b3e13

    I don't think I am ovulating because of my chart and I keep getting negative OPK.

    Natural Miscarriage 12/10/09 at 6W4D. Lilypie First Birthday tickers Photobucket
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  • Jenny102783Jenny102783 member
    imageShellShockedMama:

    First, take a deep breath.

    Second, do you know you're having ovulation issues, or do you fear you do? Did you have ovulation issues prior to your bfp?

    You cannot base ANYTHING your first cycle after a loss and it's been, what a little over two weeks, according to your ticker. Your hormones are  completely crazy/loopy/weird. So try not to worry, it's way too early to psych yourself out!!!

    No, but I am completely irrational at this stage of the game! I was on birth control for 10 years. I got pregnant the first month I stopped taking it. So, who really knows what my ovulation status is. I know I am jumping the gun by being so frustrated, especially so soon but I can't help it. Argh.

    Natural Miscarriage 12/10/09 at 6W4D. Lilypie First Birthday tickers Photobucket
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  • sydney0928sydney0928
    imageJenny102783:
    imagesydney0928:

    Are you charting? What makes you think you are not ovulating?

    I know how you feel, in many ways the first month can be very hard because you are waiting and still grieving.

     I started charting after the miscarriage. Here is my chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b3e13

    I don't think I am ovulating because of my chart and I keep getting negative OPK.

    You might just O later in your cycle. I got KU the 1st month off the pill too, so I never knew what my normal O pattern was. Hang in there, you're only on CD 20.

    BFP #1- 1/16/09- Baby Ava stillborn at 32 weeks, possible cord accident, 7/30/09
    BFP #2- 1/5/10- Baby Jack born at 37w2d, 6lbs 13 oz, 8/24/10
    BFP #3- 7/30/11- Baby Boy Due April 3, 2012
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • denise_mdenise_m
    I am really sorry.  I know it's common for a woman to not ovulate their first cycle after a m/c.
    *~*Mommy to*~*
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    BFP#1 Kaitlyn 11-17-04
    BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
    BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
    BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
    BFP #7 4/20/12 21 DPO beta: 2382 29 DPO beta: 23000! HB 6w2d 116 bpm due Christmas day!
    This Momma's Journey
    ~Today I am pregnant and I love my baby~ BabyFruit Ticker
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  • ihearteddiebooihearteddieboo

    So sorry.  My October-November cycle (the one I got pregnant during) I got positive OPK's on CD 17-18 and ovulated on CD 20.  I used to have a 32 day cycle.  Maybe your cycle is longer and you still have some ovulating to do this month.  ::fingers crossed for Jenny::

    I'm with you though.  This is my first cycle after m/c and d&c and I am testing with OPK's and charting.  If I follow the same 32 day cycle (which I'm hoping for but not expecting since the first cycle after m/c can be wacky) I will ovulate on CD 20 again.  We're not trying this cycle, but it would be nice to know my body is working properly.  I totally understand the frustration.  I dropped my thermometor this morning and it fell behind my nightstand.  I had to get up and move the nightstand and reach for it.  Needless to say my temp was discarded today b/c it was super high and I know I didn't O.  And I'm frustrated from one wacky temp., so I know exactly how you feel!!

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  • kellydisneykellydisney

    Hi Jenny,

    I m/c literally 2 days after you and remember reading your spotting posts over on 1st Tri and thinking OMG me too and hoping it wasn't the case for us.  I am sorry for your loss.  I am obsessing too about when I'll ovulate and how long it will take to get pregnant.  I guess it's normal?  I'm waiting until after my next normal period to start charting, I'm not even thinking about it now.  Now I'm just focused on taking my vitamins and eating healthy in hopes that will help our chances of having a healthy pregnancy next time around.  Good luck to you!

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  • Jenny102783Jenny102783 member
    Thank you for all the support, ladies! I appreciate it!
    Natural Miscarriage 12/10/09 at 6W4D. Lilypie First Birthday tickers Photobucket
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