Christmas with the Warrens
fauxshelley
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So DB came to pick up Pumpkin for Christmas about 4:00pm. He brought her home about 10:00pm. She is supposed to spend this week with him, and he knows it, but he brought her home last night. I am happy that she is home, so I didn't mention it. He came in my house after P told him that I didn't want him there and literally started to pick a fight with me (he tried to do that on Christmas Eve too, but I hung up on him). So here we are fighting in the living room of my home on Christmas Day. Nice. I asked him to leave like 6 times, and he only left after I completely lost my cool and told him off. I mean yelling, cussing, get the F out of my house, lost my cool. 
Oh and he or his family didn't get Jackson one effing thing for Christmas. Just to be sure that he didn't leave it at his parents house, I called his mom. I told her that I felt bad that she didn't get to see her grandson on Christmas, and I'm sure they want to give him his gifts, so why don't I bring him over to their house so they can see him. I also said that I realize that if I don't facilitate visits between them that they would never see him. She told me that they were not home, and wouldn't be home until late tonight. She said they had to go visit people while FIL was off of work. I asked her about tomorrow. I said I can come to your house, you can come to mine, or I can meet you somewhere. She said she would be busy. She said she would call me when she has some time. So she is too busy "visiting" other people today, and she can't see her only grandson!
That's it! I give up! To hell with all of them, and the sooner the better. Oh, and Pumpkin's presents will be boxed up and sent to her father's house with a letter about how he has two children, and he will buy for both or he will buy for none. This way I will get my point across to Douchebag, and she will still be able to play with her stuff at her father's house. I talked to my attorney and he agreed this is the best way to handle it. I certainly hope so.
Re: Christmas with the Warrens
Shelley, I'm so sorry that he and his family continue to be douche-tastic. You must be feeling so frustrated and disappointed.
Just remember what a blessing Jackson is, and by handling it responsibly you're setting an amazing example for Pumpkin. It's so hard to be "nice" all the time, but it's well worth it.
Hang in there, you're an AMAZING mommy, and a brilliant woman! Keep it up!
If I lived closer, I'd probably be arrested. I'm so mad on your behalf... I have no words.
I'm so sorry Shelley.
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wow. i've been there and i'm sooooooo sorry you are there right now!!!! i'm with Robyn, i'd be in jail right now if i lived near you. (hugs)
what does pumpkin think about you shipping thetoys to her dad's house? he clearly isn't interested in having her around consistently, so will she even get to play with them? how did she handle the big blow out?
why do some men not understand that children are people and the crap they do to hurt their ex ends up hurting the children long term?!
Pumpkin is ok with the toy situation. Its not ideal, but she had a great Christmas at home, so she has plenty of new toys here. She needs something to play with over there anyway. She is sad for her brother, and she doesn't understand why her dad and his family don't love him. She was upset by the fight, of course, but I talked to her about it and apologized for my behavior. She slept w/ me and we talked and cuddled until about 12:45am.
Well, Lady, you tried. As far as XMIL is concerned, you reached out and gave her every chance, including the "meeting you somewhere" option, which was pretty smart (*eta* considering XMIL's mousiness, it gives her the option to see J without confronting DB or XFIL if she wants). I would say you should be able to move on with a clear conscience, at least.
I think sending the toys to her dad's is the best y in thing you can do in a situation that he is making awful.
As far as DB is concerned, have you talked to your lawyer about a restraining order?
((HUGS)) I'm sorry you and your are having to deal with this, esp. over the holidays.
No. Unless and until he physically does something to me, I don't think I can. I just hope he didn't come in and provoke me (he knows how to push my buttons) to record it and use it against me in court. That is something the DB would totally do.
You need to document everything (if you haven't already) because in a he said/she said - he/she who writes it down wins. You probably know that already. I was in a very similiar situation. It was terrifying and infuriating.
I'm going to PM you, check in a sec.
I am so very sorry, sweetheart. Sadly, nothing he does surprises me anymore.
As far as XMIL, forget her. You extended the olive branch and gave her another try. She blew it.
Pumpkin sounds like an extraordinary person - just like her mama.
I hope I did not sound supportive. I am completely supportive of you!!!! I am so worried about the kids for you. I worry about H because I really believe the relationship a girl has with her father impacts the rest of her life significantly. DB is f*ing up her world which will impact her as an adult too. He is so selfish and short-sighted that he cannot see what he is doing to this little girl who will one day (before you even know it) be a woman with all this daddy-baggage. sigh. I have a daughter with daddy baggage myself. It's difficult. I myself have daddy baggage (he and his family do not acknowledge me much like your ex and ex in-laws do not J) so I know how painful it is and how even as a grown woman, it never stops hurting. You're a fantastic person and a great mommy (apologizing to H bc you lost your temper is fabulous thing to do - seriously), so H will be okay, but DB is creating holes in her heart that only he can mend which he doesn't seem capable of doing.
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MY GOD SHELLEY
I am so sorry.
And, here I am telling you to throw your ex-MIL a olive branch?! Wow, I don't know how you can spoon feed her anymore than you have. What a weak woman, sad excuse for a grandmother. You tired.
I like your idea of Pumpkin's presents staying at DBs house. Those presents being at your house would just be a sore reminder of what Jack didn't receive.
I'm angry for you. I'm sad too. I'm sad for Jack. I'm sad that Pumpkin witnesses this.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!
Kari
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