So guess what ex-DH bought DS?

achase123 · December 2009

A $300 Target gift card. Ummm thanks, I guess. Good thing DS is too little to know he didn't get him a real present. Oh, and he bought HIMSELF a black BMW-nice, father of the year right there! At least he will be 3 1/2 hours away for Christmas and I won't have to deal with him.

SoHopeful · December 2009

hmm...i think it's a pretty nice gift. maybe he figured that since ds doesn't really know the difference, like you said, he would get something that might help YOU out. it's just a thought...i don't know your ex.

Nicavesani · December 2009

Yeah, it's impersonal, but I'm sure that'll be a huge help. You could buy anything you still don't have (convertible car seat, high chair, jumperoo) and things he'll need regularly (clothes, diapers, wipes, babyfood).

Sounds good to me... as long as he doesn't think that's ALL the help you'll need for the next few months.

mistresscox · December 2009

sweet! that's a $h!t ton of diapers! wahoo!

next year is when it will actually matter....this year LO doesn't know the difference

HisBoysCanSwim · December 2009

I don't know your back story either, but I think that $300 to Target could really help you out. Perhaps you think it's not enough considering he just bought himself a BMW though. I would agree with that.

cutelilfishstick · December 2009

I would prefer this is what DS got instead of all the toys that he won't be able to play with for months. We could use help with formula and diapers. And if bought himself a car, good for him. I don't think saying he bought a car for himself makes his gift to DS anything less than what it is.

achase123 · December 2009

HisBoysCanSwim:
I don't know your back story either, but I think that $300 to Target could really help you out. Perhaps you think it's not enough considering he just bought himself a BMW though. I would agree with that.

LOL-this is true-it will probably help out a lot. The backstory is ex-DH is a total douche who cheated and did drugs throughout my pregnancy and then just wants us to "be a family" and "put this all behind us". I don't think a real family man would buy himself a black BMW a day before Christmas and then complain about child/spousal support! But you ladies make a good point about the gift card.

achase123 · December 2009

cutelilfishstick:

I would prefer this is what DS got instead of all the toys that he won't be able to play with for months. We could use help with formula and diapers. And if bought himself a car, good for him. I don't think saying he bought a car for himself makes his gift to DS anything less than what it is.

Yes, he bought himself a car, but not good for him. Since DS has been born (in August) he has bought himself a new truck, a new 1000 Honda motorcycle, a new utility trailer, new rims for his truck, and now the BMW. this is on top of him having two places that he is renting for a total of $3,900/mo, plus a another work building for $1,500/mo. All in all his monthly expenses (that I know of) are over $11K/month. All the while complaining that I am greedy for wanting him to pay a fair amount each month. And he makes his money "under the table" aka illegally, so it has been near impossible for me to prove his income.

TexasLadyBug · December 2009

I think you need to be grateful for what you do get from him. Many men do not pay support at all and when the Holidays roll around they are MIA and the kids get nothing.

In the end the money he makes is his and he can buy what he wants with it no matter how ridiculus what he buys is.

And if you want to keep getting paid the fair amount you are getting I would keep my mouth shut about how he makes his money or you might find yourself getting much less.

JCsMomma · December 2009

TexasLadyBug:

I think you need to be grateful for what you do get from him. Many men do not pay support at all and when the Holidays roll around they are MIA and the kids get nothing.

In the end the money he makes is his and he can buy what he wants with it no matter how ridiculus what he buys is.

And if you want to keep getting paid the fair amount you are getting I would keep my mouth shut about how he makes his money or you might find yourself getting much less.

Wow, are you for real? She should be "grateful" that he contributes to his own child? Just because there are a lot of dead beats who don't contribute at all does not mean that when someone is a half-assed parent they should get all kinds of credit. OP, I'd be upset too. I hope you and your LO have a wonderful Christmas together.

rebus82 · December 2009

achase123:
cutelilfishstick:

I would prefer this is what DS got instead of all the toys that he won't be able to play with for months. We could use help with formula and diapers. And if bought himself a car, good for him. I don't think saying he bought a car for himself makes his gift to DS anything less than what it is.

Yes, he bought himself a car, but not good for him. Since DS has been born (in August) he has bought himself a new truck, a new 1000 Honda motorcycle, a new utility trailer, new rims for his truck, and now the BMW. this is on top of him having two places that he is renting for a total of $3,900/mo, plus a another work building for $1,500/mo. All in all his monthly expenses (that I know of) are over $11K/month. All the while complaining that I am greedy for wanting him to pay a fair amount each month. And he makes his money "under the table" aka illegally, so it has been near impossible for me to prove his income.

Your ex sounds a lot like DH's ex-step-father. Cheating bastard who was happy to spend $$$ on himself, but would then piss and moan when MIL needed money to pay her electric bill. Not only was he seriously skimping on the support her promised her when the separated (they put off divorce to make things easier with their son), he also didn't bother to pay her nearly enough for the care of their severely disabled son. Complete douche, that man. Now he's "found Jesus" and married someone else, but I still think he's a giant tool.

AppleMomma · December 2009

Yowzers!! All the things you just listed that EX-H bought for himself he should have forked out at least $1,000 visa gift card for DS! Of course that's just IMO...

amber_tynan · December 2009

TexasLadyBug:
I think you need to be grateful for what you do get from him. Many men do not pay support at all and when the Holidays roll around they are MIA and the kids get nothing.
In the end the money he makes is his and he can buy what he wants with it no matter how ridiculus what he buys is.
And if you want to keep getting paid the fair amount you are getting I would keep my mouth shut about how he makes his money or you might find yourself getting much less.

This is quite inappropriate. She's allowed to be upset, I would be livid right now.

All those things he's bought for himself and he gives DS a $300 gift card? Rat bastard. I sincerely hope you get child support and it's done through the courts. It sucks that he doesn't make his money a legit way, but you need to be assured that you will be helped consistently. It sounds like you are far better off without him but I know it is still hard. I'm so mad for you right now!

achase123 · December 2009

TexasLadyBug:

I think you need to be grateful for what you do get from him. Many men do not pay support at all and when the Holidays roll around they are MIA and the kids get nothing.

In the end the money he makes is his and he can buy what he wants with it no matter how ridiculus what he buys is.

And if you want to keep getting paid the fair amount you are getting I would keep my mouth shut about how he makes his money or you might find yourself getting much less.

Wow, just wow! I hope you never have to deal with the crap that I have dealt with. How dare you tell me to "keep my mouth shut about how he makes his money or I will get far less". You are a class act for sure! Sure the money he makes is his, but he also needs to support his child. I wasn't implying that I wasn't grateful for the giftcard, just the fact that he didn't put a lot of thought into it, then had the audacity to purchase a new car for himself the night before Christmas Eve.

kaylenpar1 · December 2009

$300 is pretty good.

Chrysallys · December 2009

Sounds like a "real" present to me. I wish my father ever did anything that nice for me.

annibes · December 2009

Honestly, if he's on drugs and making money illegally, do you really want him to put all that much thought into a gift? From a guy like that, less personal is better. I would not want my son emotionally attached to such a volatile tool.

annibes · December 2009

I think the car is kind of irrelevant- you know from his history that he likes to buy things for himself, so the car shouldn't come as a surprise. It's good that this guy is on his way out, though. Don't let him back in- he sounds like a real jerk!

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