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Stay at Home Moms
lonely
we are 3 mo in and i wouldnt go back to work for anything. but with that being said i am super lonely. DH works nights and then on his weekends is busy with house projects (that i do want done). he has to work xmas and new years eve so i guess i am spending those with the babies. after the new year i plan on joining a mom group so that i have some adults to go hang out with. someone tell me it gets better.
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Re: lonely
It gets better, I PROMISE. I was miserable at first. I loved DS but I felt so out of sync with life - no routine, all my friends were childless (and all working, so I could never see them anyway), my DH did (and still does)work ridiculously long hours. I just felt lost. I did have PPD, but a major issue was also my lack of a support network (all family is out of state, as well).
When I had DS I didn't have a single local friend with kids. I forced myself to get involved with the moms in my community - I took a lot of classes with DS - mommy and me/develepmentol classes, baby yoga, kindermusic, etc. went to a ton of free drop in play groups, library times, etc., and joined my local MOMS Club. I have met some of my very best friends through these activities, and it is a rare day that DS and I don't have an activity, playgroup, or just lunch with friends. I am on the board of my MOMS Club, and I swear everywhere I go - just running errands or to the park - I run into other moms I know everwhere.
Also, as your baby gets older it is a lot easier to develop a routine, get out of the house, etc. Me being able to go to my gym again when DS was old enogh was a huge help, as well.
It will get better - hang in there!
I'm sorry you are lonely. That is so tough. Your sons are adorable btw. It definitely gets better. You are still in the part where sleeplessness is a major issue and I really think that affects your morale and mental state. And for me, I think it took quite awhile for the hormones to level out so maybe they are still a factor too for you. Something that I have found that I love, is books from the library. We have a great library in town and not only do I get books for my son to read, I've started checking some out for myself and when I am really into one, it is something I look forward to all day when I can get a little "me" time in at night. As for meeting other moms, the other posters had great suggestions. Moms clubs, library events, getting to the gym if you can, are all good places to socialize and connect with other adults and make yourself feel like you are actually part of the world and not just a citizen of baby island! Also, keep connecting on thebump because there are a lot of understanding women here and you may find moms on the local board that you could get to know...
Hope this helps and hang in there... we have all been in your shoes in one fashion or another.
The first few months are really hard. And you have two babies to care for. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be, especially since your DH is so busy. Just hang in there. Once the babies get a little older and you can get into some semblance of a routine, I think things will get better for you. Also, it's good you're joining a moms group. I belong to two of them and I have met some really nice women and have even become friends with one of them. In fact, I was just talking to her tonight and we plan to get together with our husbands and the boys next week.
Good luck!