- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 3 - 6 Months
can't agree about another baby...?
I am in no rush to have another one and have no desire to be pregnant again, but I really want another baby at some point. Mostly, I always pictured having a big family and my own family is huge, but I also don't want DD to be an only child.
DH does not want anymore. We used to talk about it and he seemed to want 2 maybe 3. Now he's dead set on just one. AND DD is an angel! Easiest baby ever- no late nights and she is genuinely a very happy girl! He says he'd be too worried that the 2nd would be a terror and that one costs enough.
IF DD/SO only wanted one and you wanted more, would this be a deal breaker for you?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: can't agree about another baby...?
*PGAL/PAL Welcome*
My Ovulation Chart
Eventually, yes, it would be a deal breaker for me. DH and I always talked about kids, and he wanted 2, i wanted 4, but mostly just wanted our first to have a sibling at some point. After we had her, she had a few issues, but otherwise is a ridiculously easy and happy baby. He then decided he only wanted one child.
We talked about this extensively, because honestly, if I had known he wanted one kid in the first place, I never would have married him, nor would I have ever had DD. He knew this before we had her. It's that important to me.
Since then, we've come to an agreement that by the time DD is 5 years, we'll be trying for another (we originally planned to start trying immediately after we had her because of IF issues), and we'll play it by ear from there.
I'm not sure what advice to give other than keep talking it through. If DH hadn't come around in a year or two, yes, it would have been a deal breaker for me.
DH always said he only wanted to have one but has already asked to start trying for another (crazy man)
It would not have been a deal breaker for me. People grow and mature in different ways. Im sure he'll come around eventually.
I've always been up in the air but always said that I'd be happy with one. DH has always and still says that he is more than happy with one. Now I'm starting to think that I'd like a second although I'm not sure when I would want a second.
I guess it depends just how important it is to you.
I have a hard time being hypothetical about this because I am so strongly in the "only children are awesome" camp, but here goes.
No, it would not be a deal breaker. If he had said he wanted kids, you got married, and then he said he didn't want any, that would be one thing. To have one, see how being a parent is, and saying "eh, one is actually pretty good" is an entirely different ball of wax. He didn't lie to you, he didn't trick you into anything on false pretenses, he just changed his mind based on the situation he's now in. Not to mention, you say "he SEEMED to want 2 or 3." Maybe he never had a set plan and you assumed based on what you personally wanted.
Give it some time. He makes valid points, and you shouldn't want him to have a child he doesn't want nor can comfortably afford just because you do. If you revisit the subject in a few years and he's still adamant about only having your DD, then you have to ask yourself what's more important ... a happy family of three, or a broken family just in case there might be another man out there for you who will be willing to breed some more babies with you. To me, that's a damn silly question to have to ask oneself.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice