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you know why people make "those" comments?

BonzerBonzer
in 3rd Trimester

You know, the " rest now while you can, enjoy the peace while you can" comments.

Because no matter how prepared you *think* you are for the chaos about to take over your life, you NEVER can prepare for it.

This is my second baby ( I have 2 under 2 so the sleeplessness is still fresh in my mind from the last one) yet I took for granted the last month of being pregnant and being "free" for one month.

Yes it's all worth it, etc... but you so fast dont realize that it takes 1+ hours to get out of the house, just to go to the bank or post office, that every shower you take is a sacred gift after the baby is born, that any sleep you get that lasts more than 2-3 hours is a gift....

 We ALL take these things for granted and NO ONE is prepared for them

People don't make those comments because they think you are unprepared or in denial.

They make them because if they could go back to being pregnant they wouldn't have rushed to get to the finish line, but rather enjoyed those last few weeks of freedom, silence, and sleep that they had left.

 

 

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Re: you know why people make "those" comments?

  • Mrs.tlcSMrs.tlcS member
    Yes
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  • madeleines_mommymadeleines_mommy member

    Yes I'm scared Tongue Tied

    ::quietly freaking out from within::

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  • carney09carney09 member

    I think we get that....but remember how annoyed you were hearing it?  Yeah, that.

     

    LOL!

     

    Also, just because we don't like hearing it doesn't mean we aren't going to enjoy the last few weeks of peace and quiet...I think its the assumption that we don't or aren't. 

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  • JaredandKatieJaredandKatie member
    This is why I've tried not to be too impatient to meet my LO even though I really want to.  I'd gladly go into labor right now, but I'm also fine with waiting a while longer.  I think alot of people just want everything to be over once they hit 37 weeks.  Maybe I would have wanted that too if I was terribly uncomfortable, but thankfully everything has been alright for me!
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  • Tinkx123xTinkx123x
    I think some people mean well like you do, but i definitely think other people just say it to be annoying or snarky. Esp on facebook!!
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  • ibisibis member
    It annoys me mainly because it makes no sense. Obviously I enjoy sleeping. But I can't save it up for later.
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  • Hopefull11Hopefull11
    If I could get any more then 2 or 3 hours of sleep at a time now that would be a gift. I agree you can't prepare yourself for what is about to come. I am just praying I have a baby that sleeps like I did when I was a newborn. I slept through the night from the day my parents brought me home from the hospital. My mom used to hold a mirror up under my nose to make sure i was still breathing. I'm sure I won't be that lucky though.
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  • jkfranklinjkfranklin member

    Okay, yes I am enjoying the silence, but freedom and sleep?  Ha!  My body is not my own, so I have no freedom.  I went to Target yesterday for an hour and had to come home and take a nap, not to mention that it takes me about an hour to get out of the house as it is because I can't move like I used to.  It takes 5 minutes to put socks on for crying out loud!  The sleep, if that's what you call it, is interrupted regularly by having to go to the bathroom and the heroic act of rolling over or just simply the pain.

    I think that people forget what the last month of pregnancy is like!  The grass is always greener, I guess.

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  • ella.mabelella.mabel member

    I know it's true.

    And I still find it annoying when people say it. 

    Along with "Are you still here?", "Sleep when the baby sleeps", "Aren't you EXCITED?".............

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  • JustJanieJustJanie

    imageibis:
    It annoys me mainly because it makes no sense. Obviously I enjoy sleeping. But I can't save it up for later.

    Yes 

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  • LittleL17LittleL17 member
    True, yes, but still annoying! People just need to say, "Congrautlations. You look great." and move on. I know things are going to be different. I know I won't get much sleep. And I know I'm probably not really prepared for any of it. I don't need to be told that by every person I meet.
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  • mrsthedixonmrsthedixon

    I also think hindsight is 20/20... so when Moms make those comments to not-yet-Moms (like me) I often say "Yeah, but have you completely forgotten how you felt with your first pregnancy before you had your first child?" Because it almost seems like the comments are dismissive.

    For example, my SIL always makes these "you'll be fine......" comments to me in a "Don't be so silly" tone of voice. I feel like saying "Oh - and you were absolutely secure with no doubts or concerns WHATSOEVER before having your first baby??"

    Also, when people tell me the whole "you have no idea" thing, or "Nothing can prepare you" etc. I feel like saying "So why are you trying then?" haha! Just let me experience it! Everyone goes through it... Smile

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  • Tinkx123xTinkx123x
    imagemrsthedixon:

    I also think hindsight is 20/20... so when Moms make those comments to not-yet-Moms (like me) I often say "Yeah, but have you completely forgotten how you felt with your first pregnancy before you had your first child?" Because it almost seems like the comments are dismissive.

    For example, my SIL always makes these "you'll be fine......" comments to me in a "Don't be so silly" tone of voice. I feel like saying "Oh - and you were absolutely secure with no doubts or concerns WHATSOEVER before having your first baby??"

    Also, when people tell me the whole "you have no idea" thing, or "Nothing can prepare you" etc. I feel like saying "So why are you trying then?" haha! Just let me experience it! Everyone goes through it... Smile

    This exactly!! all of it... nicely said!! 

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  • laurenrobbielaurenrobbie

    Yes, but it is still annoying. I realize I can't prepare for it. I realize I am not going to get any sleep. I realize it is going to be difficult. No need to make that the focus of conversation or even a passing comment.

    And if you can't prepare for it no matter what, how are those comments helping to prepare then?

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  • cchill01cchill01 member

    There's no such thing as "rushing to the finish line" anyway.  Last I checked, it's going to happen on it's own schedule.  And at this point, I would gladly take sore nipples, sleepless nights and home confinement.  I'm over pregnancy, now on with parenthood.

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  • ChaneltaraChaneltara member

    imageLittleL17:
    True, yes, but still annoying! People just need to say, "Congrautlations. You look great." and move on. I know things are going to be different. I know I won't get much sleep. And I know I'm probably not really prepared for any of it. I don't need to be told that by every person I meet.

     

    Exactly! 

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  • hilwithonelaryhilwithonelary member
    To me, it's not so much the comments, but the tone of voice.  It seems like every time someone says "Just you wait!" or "Get your sleep while you can!" they say it with an smirk or laugh like they're saying, "You are going to be miserable! I can't wait to laugh at how stressed and exhausted you're going to be!" 
    Hilary
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  • proudarmywife08proudarmywife08
    You are absolutely, 100% correct! I'm enjoying my DD who sleeps through the night right now b/c I know that I'm going to be up a TON when the baby arrives. Tongue Tied
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  • katesmom73katesmom73
    I'm lurking from 2nd tri but I completely agree with you.  My sister just had her first baby and when I went out to help her, she actually said - no one ever tells you how hard this is!  I thought to myself - yes they do, you just don't listen.  And/or you think it will be different for you.  Drives me crazy when I see these posts from people who say - I know it will be hard.  No, you don't because you can't possibly know how hard it is - it's emotional, physical and hormonal.
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  • hilwithonelaryhilwithonelary member

    imagekatesmom73:
    I'm lurking from 2nd tri but I completely agree with you.  My sister just had her first baby and when I went out to help her, she actually said - no one ever tells you how hard this is!  I thought to myself - yes they do, you just don't listen.  And/or you think it will be different for you.  Drives me crazy when I see these posts from people who say - I know it will be hard.  No, you don't because you can't possibly know how hard it is - it's emotional, physical and hormonal.

    Even if I can't know how hard it is, do you think anything you can say will prepare me?  Probably not.  And especially not the "Just you wait!" or "You life is never going to be the same!" comments.  I get that I have no idea what I'm getting into.  I don't need to hear it 50 times a day.

    Hilary
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  • Lance&BeccaLance&Becca
    I think some people make the comments just to "show" how much they know and how oblivious you are about taking care of a newborn. Obviously...those people suck. But in reality I would tell anybody who ASKED that having a baby is ten times harder then you imagined and a thousand times more rewarding.
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