Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

Anyone have an open adoption in same city?

queenbonequeenbone member
in Adoption

Hi! We met with our agency again yesterday; the enrollment and first weekend of classes starts at the end of January. All the adoptions are open and she said that all of the BMs are in town with a few from other areas of the state.  In my lurking it seems like a lot of your OA are between states?  Does anyone live in the same town as BM and therefore I would expect that she (and he) know your full name and where you live?  How does this work for you?  Do you have visits usually at your home or at a park, restaurant, zoo or a combination of the two.  I realize every BM's desires will be different, but I am curious to read of more experiences. Thanks!

Married 9-4-04

***PM me for my IF history***

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Anyone have an open adoption in same city?

  • FinallyMrs.GFinallyMrs.G
    We haven't been matched yet but our agency works with all local BM and adoptive families so our BM will be close and hopefully open (depends on her wishes)  We will start out by meeting at a restaurant or park and maybe invite her to our home. Hope that helps. ;)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • FinallyMrs.GFinallyMrs.G
    That was suppose to say "and maybe invite her to our home eventually, after we are all comfortable with each other".
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jewele803jewele803

    We are in this situation.  BM lives about 25 mins away from us.  We have been full disclosure of names and addresses pretty much since the beginning.  Our agreement was to send pics and letter 4 times a year and one visit near DD's birthday.  I know this can seem like a scary situation, but really, it has worked out just fine.  I think we are very respectful of each other's space.  We are also friends on facebook which I like to use for setting up the meeting, just litle things like she will let me know she got our letter or if she moved, etc. 

     In the beginning though, I was afraid that I might run into her at the mall or grocery store (even though we probably don't shop at the same ones) and not recognize her and it would be so embarrassing and upsetting....it's never happened!

     We did our first meeting a the children's museum and that was great...SW discouraged us from having them to our home...at least not for now.

    Report Reply
  • kmkaullkmkaull

    We have a very open adoption.  Birth mom lives 5 hours away (same state) but birth grandma is about 15 minutes away.  We know full names and visit at our home and hers. 

    There really is no way to predict how your adoption agreement will work out.  You'll have to see what her hopes and expectations, consider your own, and see if the dynamics work for an open relationship.  It may be intimidating now, but chances are good that you may forge a strong bond with the birth mom and really want her in your child's life.  My advice is to stay open-minded and see how it all works out. 

    Report Reply
  • JermysgirlJermysgirl member
    DD's b-family is all in the area...they know all of our identifying information, but we get together at a restaurant or park closer to them because it's easier for us to go to their neck of the woods.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    We're in the same state, about 2 hours apart.  We haven't seen each other since Zoe's birth but we are planning to get together soon.  Probably next week! 

     Z asked if she and her family could come visit us, so we will probably have them come here to our house.  I've been to her house already, so it's not a big deal to us if they come here. 

    The visits are up to 2/year and they are at the birthmom's request.  We're looking forward to seeing her and her family.  We've talked on the phone twice since Zoe was born and we've emailed weekly.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • ppfbunnyppfbunny
    Our BM is only about 5 miles from us. She knows generally where we live and I know exactly where she lives. But she decided she wanted a semi-open relationship and we send her pictures once a year (again per her choice). It's worked out very well, but I do wonder on occasion if we'll run into eachother someday.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"