question about my nephew
Hi everyone.....I have a few questions. I have been a little concerned about my nephew but have not had the courage to say anything to her.
He will be 2 in Feb. He is VERY afraid of people other than his immediate family, I mean he screams and cries for long periods of time and even after he stops doesn't really socialize, just kind of keeps to himself. He is petrified of garbage trucks and vacuumes, no reason for this? His Dad told me that he spends much of his time "organizing " things...like blocks, he stacks them and seems to need things in a certain order. Is this "normal", for lack of a better word for an almost 2 year old. I just don't want to go to her and make her mad for nothing and wanted the help of some experienced parents.
Thanks in advance 
Re: question about my nephew
Hmm, this is a tough one. Hopefully you will get some good responses here, especially from Auntie, the expert around here on autism. I am assuming this is your sister's child? Has she ever confided in you about any concerns she has about these behaviors? If she hasn't, she probably still has some concerns, but just hasn't spoken about them to anyone. My ds was dx with autism at 3, and if someone told me they were concerned about autism at age 2, I would have been pretty mad, but eventually been thankful, you know? The earlier you get intervention the better outcome a child will have. I still regret that I sat in denial for so much longer than I needed to and in the end it really hurt my son.
I guess the way you approach it depends on the kind of relationship you have with her. Maybe say, hey I know of a family (it could even be someone on here), that is going through some similar issues as you are with (insert nephew's name) and they were able to get help through Early Intervention or Developmental Pediatrician. That way you avoid the whole labeling of autism thing.
Our son was never dx through EI, but instead through the school system and a developmental ped around age 3.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
It does sound a bit off. All of it could be explained away but it makes you wonder.
I guess for me the fear/aversion to strangers seems pretty normal. Plenty of young toddler are like that. But combined with the other things you mentioned, if it was my kid, I would probably make the call to EI and have him eval'ed.
Another possibility it that she is aware and plans to mention it at his 2-year pedi visit. You could possibly encourage this by saying something like "goodness he is so good at organizing (or that was quite a tantrum). What does your pedi think about that?".
I guess if it was my sister (we are close and open) I would come right out and say it. But if it was my SIL, for example, I know she would freak out completly so I would stick with the subtle hints.
Well, I wouldn't rely on what the pedi says honestly. At least in my case, the pedi was the one who was continously pacifying me and discouraging me from getting any evals done, because there was "absolutely nothing wrong with my son", and "boys need more time" and "I see autistic kids on a daily basis and your son is not one of them, I assure you". He's still not convinced to this day there is anything wrong.
I think she needs to steer her in the direction of pro's that specialize in dx'ing developmental delays, NOT regular pedi's.
She should contact EI and Dev Pedi (a good one, though....mine didn't think my boy had autism either at 2.5 years old, or even at 3 yrs. old) and set up an eval. Also, an SLP, if he's behind in communication.
And yes - it does sound like he needs to be evaluated, those bx's don't seem appropriate for his age. Shyness - yes, but this doesn't seem like just that and the other stuff (vacuums, stacking obsessively)...not good.
I agree with your point, but it is way easier to suggest bringing it up with the regular pedi, than telling someone they should take their kid to a specialist.
Around here at least, most pedi's seem to just quickly refer to EI for the under 3 crowd. So to me talking to pedi = being told to call EI.