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I'm so mad ~a little long

Brady1*Brady1*
in Trying to Get Pregnant

My Mother is one of the only people that know DH and I are TTC. She's one of my best friends. 

Every year my Mom and her 4 sisters plus older daughters go away for a weekend of shopping right before Christmas. They came home the other day. I was on FB and saw my Cousins away message that said " I hope my Cousin gets pregnant ASAP so I can start making baby blankets again!!!" WTF!! Now mind you I'm the only one that she could be talking about.

I got on the phone with my Mother and asked if she told them we were TTC. She said "Yeah I told them what's the big deal?"

um....Sorry Ma but there is a HUGE deal. I don't want everyone constantly asking if I'm KU or making comments.TTC is already stressful enough without people asking stupid questions.

Tomorrow is our family XMAS party and I'm just waiting for it to start. My family are the type that think your business is everyone's business and would see nothing wrong with broadcasting at the dinner table we're TTC.

I'm so fuming mad I can't see straight! What would you say to your Mother and what would you say in response when they do say something? I just don't want to be sitting there red faced and unable to speak.

TIA 

 

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Re: I'm so mad ~a little long

  • becs11048becs11048

    Sorry, that really sucks

    Did you tell her not to tell anyone, or did you just assume she would keep it private?

    I would just tell her why it is a "big deal" to you and that since she told everyone about it you would appreciate her following up with them and letting them know that you are trying to keep it private and not to ask you about it and certainly not post on public forums (ie Facebook) about it

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  • Blueyezz0530Blueyezz0530

    That sucks. I would relay to your mother how upset you are about her spilling the beans.

    Then I would just tell them its your moms wishful thinking.

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  • Brady1*Brady1*
    I did tell her not to tell anyone. My Mother's side of the family gets KU just from looking at them, so they don't understand. My fathers side on the other hand has had long battles with Infertility. I don't know where I fall, she knows this has been a concern for me. 
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  • floridakatfloridakat

    Honestly, if you didn't ask her not to share with anyone, I think it's perfectly natural for her to have talked to her close relatives about it. Most people outside the situation don't understand that it can be hard to get bombarded with personal questions all the time.

    I think if you just play it off that it's no big deal, and if you do get hit with comments don't overreact, it will probably blow over. If some of them are persistent, just tell them it will happen when it happens and that it's nice that they're excited for you.

    I've been getting the questions for five years now. You get used to it.

    GL!

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  • floridakatfloridakat

    imageBrady1*:
    I did tell her not to tell anyone. My Mother's side of the family gets KU just from looking at them, so they don't understand. My fathers side on the other hand has had long battles with Infertility. I don't know where I fall, she knows this has been a concern for me. 

    Okay, that's different if you did ask her. I would just cut her off from future information, and if she asks, simply explain that you'd rather your personal TTC information not be shared, and that you can't trust her not to do that.

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  • MrsTechieMrsTechie

    I would let my Mom know that when she discussed my private situation with other people- regardless of who those people were- she very much hurt my feelings and made me very angry. I would also explain how I intended to handle the topic when it came up at the Christmas gathering- before it started.

    As for anyone else that decided to ask, I say, it's your business and you can play it off however you like. If it were me, and I'm pretty good at lying or misleading, I would say: Oh, DH and I discussed it and it just isn't a good time right now. Maybe in another year.

    Or: I would rather not talk about this now, thanks.

    Or: You heard what? No, you must be mistaken. DH and I have so much to do right now, it's not even on our radar.

     GL!

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  • HRMJPCHRMJPC

    I do NOT blame you for being upset. I do think that these types of secrets are very hard for parents to keep. For example, when I told my mom that my DH and I had been looking at e-rings, she told EVERYONE! I was pissed. 

    However, TTC is a very private matter! If people try to talk about it at the family get together, just tell them that it is private, and walk away. 

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  • Mrs.JohnsMrs.Johns member

    I would be so freaking mad about this. I'd probably have a freak out and order her to call each and every person with a retraction and let them know she wasn't supposed to say anything and for nobody to mention it to you. That is your business and she has to learn to shut it. Also, she would be finidng out at the end of the 1st try with everyone else, she has now proven that your secret is not safe with her. I'm so sorry she did this.

    Then, if people bring it up, I'd say, "Honestly, that was supposed to be a secret so I'd rather if you'd just pretend you didn't know anything. I don't want to talk about it." That should take care of that.

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