Need honest opinions please

marrieditalian · December 2009

So this week I suffered my second m/c. This one was chemical (nothing ever developed in my uterus), last one baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. Prior to that I had a healthy pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby. The drs have given me the option to do blood testing since I have had 2 m/cs. She did say that many of the tests normally done would be eliminated because I have had a healthy pregnancy. The ones that she would run most likely would show nothing. She says both of these m/cs were honestly just natures way of taking care of something that was not meant to be. No one sees any reason why I couldn't have a healthy pregnancy in the future...especially since I have already had one. The question is would you get testing done or not? I'm not sure if it is even covered by insurance or not. We really cannot afford any more medical bills because we are still paying for the d&c i had a few months ago. TIA

kep · December 2009

((HUGS)) I am so, so sorry. It sucks. To have one miscarriage is horrible. Multiple losses are just worse. So heartbreaking. You have my deepest sympathies for your losses.

After my second consecutive MC, My MD offered to do some of the testing (blood clotting disorder, etc.), but we opted not to do any testing because we had started the adoption process before our second miscarriage. We had to put the adoption on hold because of the pregnancy, so we decided to go forward with adoption at that point (after the loss). I honestly did not know if I could go through another M/C. So devastating. The highs and lows of TTC are so rough, and then to add in the start/stop of the adoption and then the MC. Such an emotional roller coaster and so stressful. Plus, I am 35 now and officially AMA. I know women older than that have healthy babies all the time, but still. God's timing is perfect, and I know He has a plan, but that was our decision.

Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

kep · December 2009

P.S. I can soooo relate to the medical bills. We finally got our hospital bill for the D&C in October! But looking back, it was kind of nice it didn't come with all of the other ones. Man, they sure pile up quickly.

ebearwife · December 2009

kep:

((HUGS)) I am so, so sorry. It sucks. To have one miscarriage is horrible. Multiple losses are just worse. So heartbreaking. You have my deepest sympathies for your losses.

What Karen said, better than I ever could....

Invasive medical testing and the associated anxiety is just not something that I would want at this point if I were you. The tests will still be an option for you after you grieve and heal, which is the most important thing at this point. You can always think about it and decide later when you are ready.

mrs_ross07 · December 2009

First of all I am so sorry about your losses. Miscarriage is such an awful thing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Having the blood panel done is such a personal decision. If you think it will give you some closure, I don't see any reason not to go forward with it.

((hugs))

myrall · December 2009

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you.

If it were me, I'm the kind of person that I'd want to know. I would do the testing. I'm with ebear though, in that I think you should wait it out a while. Saying, "It's nature's way" doesn't make it hurt any less, nor does it offer any sort of explanation you can hang your hat on.

californiafrog7905 · December 2009

Oh, no...I'm so sorry for your loss. I think if it were me, I'd go for the testing if I thought we could find a way to pay for even some of it. Hopefully your insurance will at least partially cover things, if you don't have a huge deductible to meet. I had a HSG done when we were TTC (literally, the month I got PG--must have been even the week beforehand), and I know we had to cover more than we thought initially, but I thought it was worth the relief of knowing that everything looked good at that point.

A friend of mine just went through her 2nd chemical (not that I differentiate, but in case it matters to you re: whether to get testing done) m/c last week, having had her very healthy son inbetween, and I wonder where her head/heart is about this as well, because I'm sure she's trying to figure out what happened this second time.

Hang in there; hope you keep posting to our board---this is by far THE most supportive group of women/moms on the planet, I'd say, and there are some who have had similar experiences to you and would be more than happy to help however they can. ((hugs))

AugustaBride04 · December 2009

Just wanted to say sorry and BIG hugs. I like to have answers and I need reasons. If it were me, I would want the tests, but that's just me. Maybe time a few days to really think it over before you make a decision either way.

susangilchrist · December 2009

I am a bit of a lurker, but had to respond to this post. I suffered 2 consecutive miscarriages (1 chemical pregnancy, one MC at 8 weeks). I had a very general panel of blood tests done afterward that showed that my thyroid levels (which a few years earlier had been perfectly fine) indicated hypothyroidism. The doctors felt that this is what contributed to the MCs. Had I NOT had the blood work done, I would most certainly have had future MCs. If it's a clotting disorder, you would also continue to MC until it was addressed. Is it possible to pick and choose which tests you have done? Maybe only test for the more common issues to try to keep the expenses down?? I would HAVE to do it if I were you. I know the tremendous loss of MC and don't think I could have dealt with it again.

kep · December 2009

susangilchrist:
I am a bit of a lurker, but had to respond to this post. I suffered 2 consecutive miscarriages (1 chemical pregnancy, one MC at 8 weeks). I had a very general panel of blood tests done afterward that showed that my thyroid levels (which a few years earlier had been perfectly fine) indicated hypothyroidism. The doctors felt that this is what contributed to the MCs. Had I NOT had the blood work done, I would most certainly have had future MCs. If it's a clotting disorder, you would also continue to MC until it was addressed. Is it possible to pick and choose which tests you have done? Maybe only test for the more common issues to try to keep the expenses down?? I would HAVE to do it if I were you. I know the tremendous loss of MC and don't think I could have dealt with it again.

Oh, I can't believe I forgot about this, but I DID have my thyroid checked after my first miscarriage and after trying TTC a few months afterward. That was with my old OB practice. If I were going to TTC again, then I would have the testing done. I don't think I really said that in my previous post. I was done after two MCs--and I knew we were going to adopt anyway--so that's why no testing for me. )

MLvK · December 2009

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

donna&ed · December 2009

so sorry for your loss. I hope that u find peace and comfort in whatever next step you take. I can't even imagine.

ally-cat · December 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss.

If it were me, I would want to know. Maybe not immediately but at some point in the future, I would get the tests done.

MrsKLB · December 2009

I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering if you had any news. I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said it's really a personal decision as to whether you want the blood testing, but I personally would have it done because I just have to know all the facts that I can. Good luck to you with whatever you decide!

budgetbride26 · December 2009

I'm extremely sorry for your losses, I can only imagine the tremendous heartache that you are experiencing. I think it is obviously a personal decision, but I would probably have some testing done to rule out any hormonal issues. Maybe you can do the testing after the holidays and after you have had some time to grieve. I am sure it is all really overwhelming right now. I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts/prayers! Hugs to you!

TM&AB · December 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and Prayers for you and your family.

mingaling2 · December 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a very personal decision, and financial as well like you pointed out.

julienandy · December 2009

I am so sorry for your loss...its so hard to lose a pregnancy.

I would say go for the tests but that is just me. That way you will never have any doubt about IF you have clotting issues or other factors. They offered them to you, so I would go for it if my insurance covered it. After I lost Caleb, I had a slew of tests done, all covered by insurance to rule out why I lost him. In the end, we never found out what happened, but we sure ruled out a bunch of things and he had a plan for when I got pregnant again. I know with Chemical pregnancy or early losses there is really nothing you can do, but for me, I think the testing was part of my closure. Good luck, and whatever you do, its your decision so no right or wrong answer.

slwprincess · December 2009

I am so sorry for your losses. I would have the testing done. Even if they didn't find anything, I would have the peace of knowing that. Otherwise, I would wonder forever. But that's just how I am. And please, if you don't get anything else checked- do the thyroid screen. It's such a simple and relatively inexpensive test and people just don't realize what an impact that gland can have on your entire body. Get it checked just to rule it out. I do understand not wanting any more medical bills, this year has been really frustrating for us b/c of how many we've had. But think of it this way- if you go ahead and do it now, at least you would get in before the new year when your deductible probably starts over. Good luck with whatever you decide!

seasidebride05 · December 2009

I have had one miscarriage and as excited as I am to try to get pregnant again I am terrified of going through that again--I am so sorry that you have. Someone explained it to me as : one miscarriage is common, two is bad luck, three is time to look into it b/c something is going on. I personally would not be able to make it to three and after the 2nd I would be getting testing done. I am a worrier and a "what-ifer" so I would be convincing myself there is something wrong unless I had the testing done to prove otherwise. Good Luck with whatever you decide and big hugs to you.

rara855 · December 2009

First off, I am so sorry. I guess to answer your question it's really how you feel you will be with/with out the results. I probably wouldn't have them done but, if you are feeling you NEED answers than that is a decision you guys have to make if it's worth the money.

Hugs either way. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Mrs.Guz · December 2009

I am so sorry for your loss.

As for the testing, I personally would get it done just because I'd have to know what went wrong and hopefully prevent another loss. But it definitely is a very personal and financial decision. You'll be in my prayers during this time.

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