Where does this rate on your strange-o-meter

KT&John · December 2009

DH is in WV for his grandmother's funeral

Cadence and I were not able to go.

DH's sister and husband traveled with DH. Their other brother is not married.

DH just called said the service was very nice and they were able to get some pictures of the whole family. I said I was sorry Cadence and I could not be there to be in them. He said SIL's husband, even though he was there, was not in them either they only wanted to get direct family.

If that were me and they put DH and Cadence in the picture, but not me because I am not blood related I would have felt like crap! Poor SIL's DH!

Anyway does this make you raise an eyebrow? Hmm

MLvK · December 2009

I was more puzzled by photographs at the funeral. But yeah, that is weird.

Sorry for your family's loss.

ebearwife · December 2009

MLvK:

I was more puzzled by photographs at the funeral. But yeah, that is weird.

Sorry for your family's loss.

DH's family takes pictures of the deceased at funerals. There are pictures dating way back of his dead family members in their caskets. Both funerals I have attended were picture fests. I think we all had to stand around the casket for a picture at both of them too. Which leads me to my decision to be immediately cremated.

And at my wedding, without my knowledge my MIL told my sister she couldn't be in the family picture bc DH didn't have any siblings. So I have no complete family pictures from my wedding. She was 9 months preg and didn't care but I sure do!

K&P414 · December 2009

I think it's weird. I mean, maybe one shot with siblings and one shot with kids/spouses would be okay but totally excluding the ones married in I think is weird.

kep · December 2009

I don't think it is strange to get photos of people who are only blood-related--no matter where the photos are taken. However, I would then take a photo with everyone included as well. Some people are really into genealogy, etc., and that might be a reason for wanting blood-only relatives in a certain photo.

Now ... about photos at funerals. This is a cultural/regional thing. I think it is important to get photos of relatives who have gathered, especially if they are people who are not seen regularly, etc. Taking photos of or with actual dead people is different IMO--but it is done and, like I said, a cultural/regional thing.

MLvK · December 2009

My step mothers family (they are Polish in descent) take photos at funerals. I still don't get it. I don't have to though, so that's good.

Mrs.Guz · December 2009

Yeah, its weird. But, sadly, it sounds like my family. My dad's idea of family pictures doesn't include inlaws.

Mrs.Guz · December 2009

Oh, and about taking pictures at the funeral. I don't see anything wrong with it simply because many times its the only time you get the entire family together. But my dad takes pictures of the deceased which is so weird to me. I remember flipping through some old albums many years ago and found pictures of my step-grandfather at his funeral in the albums.

julienandy · December 2009

When my grandmother died it was one of the few times all 25 of her grandchildren were together, so we did take some pics.

I would feel put out if I was asked not to be in the picture.

dbryson · December 2009

Sounds like my inlaws.

Maybe they took a few of direct family and then some with everyone. I wouldn't think that would be weird. Or maybe they just did direct family since you and Candace were not there.

If it makes you feel better my MIL cooks breakfast for everyone in the house when we come to visit ....except me and my SIL. We are left to fend for ourselves. That is weird. But her cooking scares me anyway.

JoelsGirl07 · December 2009

A little - but I went to DH's family reunion in May and they did the pics both ways.....I, too, am a little confused by them taking pics at all...but I kinda get it.

KT&John · December 2009

The actual taking of the photos is not weird to me..the whole family is rarely together in one place. It would not be weird to me if they had done some immediate family but they did not ask BIL to be in any of them.

ebear- taking pictures of the deceased or with the deceased is strange to me too. I have never seen that done and I would feel uncomfortable.

kep- thanks for pointing out that these types of photos can be cultural or for geneological purposes. I am sure I will recall your words to calm myself if I am ever at a funeral where they start taking pictures of the deceased.

dbryson- um..the breakfast thing is not only weird but rude IMO..hmph!

To all who gave condolences, thank you, I will share them with DH. His G'ma had Alzheimers and did not know anyone at the end. The family has felt like she has been gone for a while. The passing of her physical body is still sad as she was loved, but we know she is in a better place.

ebearwife · December 2009

KT&John:

ebear- taking pictures of the deceased or with the deceased is strange to me too. I have never seen that done and I would feel uncomfortable.
To all who gave condolences, thank you, I will share them with DH. His G'ma had Alzheimers and did not know anyone at the end. The family has felt like she has been gone for a while. The passing of her physical body is still sad as she was loved, but we know she is in a better place.

Deepest sympathies. My grandmother suffers too. It hasn't been the same for a while. We all miss the real her. Its so hard.

Sadlebred · December 2009

Taking pictures of the deceased goes back to a Victorian era custom.

Warning: Morbid link; may be disturbing to some:

https://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2008/01/victorian_postmortem_photography.php

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