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Adoption- anybody consider

MrsJRTMrsJRT
in Preemies

We won't *technically* make the decision until we meet with my MFM in the Spring, but DH firmly stated the other day "if the odds are over 50% of this sh!t happening again, I vote adoption.  I can't see you like that again and wonder if you survive."...it's the first time he's really ever admitted how scared he was.

I'm very open to adoption, but would like to try for another biological if possible.  I was just wondering if anyone else on this board, given our high risk situations, had ever considered that as an option.

Of course, there is the $$ involved, so if adoption is our course of action, we'd have to wait another year to save up!

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Re: Adoption- anybody consider

  • NotJustAnAuntieNotJustAnAuntie

    *If* we decide to add to our family, it will only be through adoption. We're still in the very early discussion phase of this, so I have no idea what we'll end up doing.

    It isn't as expensive as you may think, if you're open to something other then a  brand-new, caucasian, you're in the delivery room kind of newborn.

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  • lemen99lemen99 member

    Dh is the same way, except I think he wants the odds to be like 90% in our favor :-)

    I think if we feel uncomfortable TTC again, we'll talk about adoption as a way of expanding our family.  I'm open to the idea but I'm very embarrassed to admit that adoption is scary to me! 

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  • MrsJRTMrsJRT
    imageNotJustAnAuntie:

    *If* we decide to add to our family, it will only be through adoption. We're still in the very early discussion phase of this, so I have no idea what we'll end up doing.

    It isn't as expensive as you may think, if you're open to something other then a  brand-new, caucasian, you're in the delivery room kind of newborn.

    That is true...we would be very open to any child that needs a home...and we have talked that even if we try for another biological child that we might have a 3rd via adoption.  We both come from big families and have always wanted a big family of our own.  I guess we shall see...

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  • lemen99lemen99 member
    imageMrsJRT:
    imageNotJustAnAuntie:

    *If* we decide to add to our family, it will only be through adoption. We're still in the very early discussion phase of this, so I have no idea what we'll end up doing.

    It isn't as expensive as you may think, if you're open to something other then a  brand-new, caucasian, you're in the delivery room kind of newborn.

    That is true...we would be very open to any child that needs a home...and we have talked that even if we try for another biological child that we might have a 3rd via adoption.  We both come from big families and have always wanted a big family of our own.  I guess we shall see...

    That's a good idea!  I hadn't thought of that.  We wanted 3 but figured we'd only have 2.  But maybe we could TTC#2 and then adopt.  I'll have to consider that.

     

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  • mcdevmcdev member
    My sister just adopted in October.  She had a preemie born at 26 weeks and then two late losses due to unexplained PTL.  She said her heart just couldn't go through it all again.  They adopted internationally.  It was costly and over a year long process, but I haven't seen her this happy in a very long time and he is absolutely gorgeous!  Her experience (so far) with adoption has been wonderful.
    Claire Avery born at 32 weeks on 10/25/06 Keira Leigh born at 27 weeks on 4/29/08
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  • MrsJRTMrsJRT

    imagemcdev:
    My sister just adopted in October.  She had a preemie born at 26 weeks and then two late losses due to unexplained PTL.  She said her heart just couldn't go through it all again.  They adopted internationally.  It was costly and over a year long process, but I haven't seen her this happy in a very long time and he is absolutely gorgeous!  Her experience (so far) with adoption has been wonderful.

     That's wonderful to hear!!

    **changed the spelling of "hear"...wow, I can NOT spell today!  :)

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  • gizmo909gizmo909

    It's on the table for us.  We even discussed adoption or getting a surrogate while I was pregnant.  My pregnancy was horrible from 6 weeks until I delivered and quite honestly, I shouldn't be here.  Neither should DS for that matter. 

    DH has agreed that we will probably try for #2 on our own, but if my pregnancy is anything at all like the last time, then we will have to resort to other options for #3.  As much as DS was worth it, I tend to agree with him. 

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  • ijackijack member
    If I'm not as lucky with my next pregnancy (implantation issues, early loss, whatever), I'm not going through it again. I'm giving my body ONE more pregnancy to get it right and if it doesn't then we'll adopt :)
    Emma - March '08 Quinn - August '11
    Need help with high fat food ideas? Chunky Monkey
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  • Mrs.tlcSMrs.tlcS member
    We haven't decided yet whether or not we'll be adding to our family.  DH always wanted 2, and I always wanted 3, but after my ICP with this pregnancy (which has something like an 85-90% chance of re-occurrence in future pregnancies), I'm hesitant to want to try again.  If we decide to add to our family again, unless there's an "oops", it would likely be through adoption.
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  • mhopmhop
    I considered it for #2 but Robbie was not on board and after our MFM gave us good odds, we decided to try pregnancy one more time.  However, given our fertility issues and my anxiety levels during this pregnancy, this will be my last pregnancy.  IF we decide to have a 3rd, it will probably be through adoption.
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  • Rachel&JoeRachel&Joe

    mcdev, did your sister's 26 week baby survive? 

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  • mcdevmcdev member
    imageRachel&Joe:

    mcdev, did your sister's 26 week baby survive? 

    She survived and thrived beautifully.  She is the prettiest, funniest, sweetest little four year old ever!  Here's her pic....

    image 

    Claire Avery born at 32 weeks on 10/25/06 Keira Leigh born at 27 weeks on 4/29/08
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  • mcdevmcdev member
    imageMrsJRT:

    imagemcdev:
    My sister just adopted in October.  She had a preemie born at 26 weeks and then two late losses due to unexplained PTL.  She said her heart just couldn't go through it all again.  They adopted internationally.  It was costly and over a year long process, but I haven't seen her this happy in a very long time and he is absolutely gorgeous!  Her experience (so far) with adoption has been wonderful.

     That's wonderful to hear!!

    **changed the spelling of "hear"...wow, I can NOT spell today!  :)

     

    Thanks!  :) 

    Claire Avery born at 32 weeks on 10/25/06 Keira Leigh born at 27 weeks on 4/29/08
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  • At1stsightAt1stsight
    My BFF had a miscarriage and then in her next pg had pre-e and delivered her baby at 36w due to problems. He didn't make it (it was awful) and after a year of dealing with other IF issues, they're trying to adopt right now.
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  • clyoungseyclyoungsey
    yep...this was our last.  but we have what iffed and the answer was adoption.
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  • mek10976mek10976
    I've always wanted to adopt, regardless of whether or not I'm high risk/couldn't conceive.  DH is not nearly as big a fan and has basically nixed the idea unless we can't conceive at all.  I think it has to do with some "spreading my own seed" mentality.  But it is ridiculously expensive, so if we ever got to that point, I don't know how we would ever save that much.
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  • *KatieH**KatieH*
    Yup - basically same as you all.  If my doctor says the risk is too great we will adopt.  
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  • MrsJRTMrsJRT

    FWIW...I think it's wonderful that so many of us are considering adoption.  There are thousands of children in this world that need good, loving homes and I think all of you are wonderful mothers!!

     

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  • beachykeen1723beachykeen1723 member

    We have always planned on adopting.

    I read once that if every family that considered adoption went through with it, there would be no more adoptable kids left.

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  • AFwife1106AFwife1106

    I wanted to adopt from the begining.  I was told that it would take a year or two and then we'd probably end up with some IVF or something like that.  I had a lot of gyn problems, nothing that would have put me at risk for pprom..

    I got pregnant within 4 months of stopping birth control.  Everything was great, I didn't even have morning sickness.  Then my water randomly broke.

    Because of what my doctors had been telling me, DH and I had the adoption conversation.  We both wanted to be parents way more than we wanted to be pregnant.  I never wanted to do IVF or anything.. we agreed that we would go as far medically as our insurance would cover and that was it. 

    Anyways, I want to adopt our next one.  We really want a boy and DH doesn't want more than 2 kids.  Now that we've had one, he knows that we should be able to have another.  My doctors are very confident that I would not pprom again, especially if I got the P17 shots.  So he doesn't want to adopt because he'd prefer to have a bio kid.. which I understand. 

    I think it's something that we need to continue to talk about.  I think adoption is one of the best things someone can do for another person.  It's not an easy road but I think it can be worth it. 

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