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Attachment Parenting
if you dont want a lecture about breastfeeding...
then DON'T lecture me about bottle feeding! My grandma spent less than 30 minutes with me today and I was about to flip out on her. I realize she thinks she's helping- but she is not!
First, she asked if I was SURE the pedi hadn't advised us to try formula for Em's reflux.
Then she started in on how I needed to give Em bottles in the car (because Em hates the carseat and screams). I told her it didn't really help much, when I drive I can't leave her with a bottle in the back seat. She said, "but bottles are so much more convenient!" umm... right, because warming them, carrying them around, cleaning them, pumping/buying formula... that's so much easier than pulling my shirt up?
I tried to make light of it and said, "Well, Em can suck down 3oz in 2 minutes, so it wouldn't really help much for car rides" She responded with, "Well then you need to train her!!! It's your job to train her." Um... so I should give her bottles so she won't cry, but then also train her (by letting her cry) on how much to drink? oook
Then she started in on pacifiers. I've tried EVERY pacifier on the market. Em won't take it. Again she said I needed to train her. And all this was while Em was screaming in the car. So every time Em cried, my grandma said, "she's saying she wants a baba! She wants a bottle!" then, the kicker- "MEAN mommy for not giving the baby a bottle!"
And finished up with, "you better bring a bottle on Thursday when we go out". Um.... no thanks grandma. I think we'll just stay home. I know she doesn't get it because she's never breastfed, but seriously STFU! I won't lecture (even when I REALLY want to) about why to breastfeed, you leave me alone about why I should bottle feed!
First, she asked if I was SURE the pedi hadn't advised us to try formula for Em's reflux.
Then she started in on how I needed to give Em bottles in the car (because Em hates the carseat and screams). I told her it didn't really help much, when I drive I can't leave her with a bottle in the back seat. She said, "but bottles are so much more convenient!" umm... right, because warming them, carrying them around, cleaning them, pumping/buying formula... that's so much easier than pulling my shirt up?
I tried to make light of it and said, "Well, Em can suck down 3oz in 2 minutes, so it wouldn't really help much for car rides" She responded with, "Well then you need to train her!!! It's your job to train her." Um... so I should give her bottles so she won't cry, but then also train her (by letting her cry) on how much to drink? oook
Then she started in on pacifiers. I've tried EVERY pacifier on the market. Em won't take it. Again she said I needed to train her. And all this was while Em was screaming in the car. So every time Em cried, my grandma said, "she's saying she wants a baba! She wants a bottle!" then, the kicker- "MEAN mommy for not giving the baby a bottle!"
And finished up with, "you better bring a bottle on Thursday when we go out". Um.... no thanks grandma. I think we'll just stay home. I know she doesn't get it because she's never breastfed, but seriously STFU! I won't lecture (even when I REALLY want to) about why to breastfeed, you leave me alone about why I should bottle feed!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: if you dont want a lecture about breastfeeding...
it all happened in about 5 minutes, too. So I just got completely bombarded, while my baby was screaming. GREAT.
I forgot the kicker- "You NEED to carry a bottle with you at all times!" uhhh... in case my milk suddenly dries up? WTF?
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Ummm, I would've flipped my sh!t. Seriously.
Oh, & tell her bottles or feeding right before a car ride can actually cause reflux to flare up. So neener neener to her.
I've meant to mention this to you before & think I forgot, but OTC mentioned a book called Colic Solved when we were 1st dealing w/ Ari's reflux & it's great! He mentions the whole car seat thing & a light bulb went off in our heads. DS is a car screamer too. We stay home a lot.
just try to remind yourself that it is a generational thing. When our grandmas were raising babies they were told that formula was the best because it was made by scientists. My grandma who is the sweetest, non judging, person in the world was astonished when I told her I BFed. No one she knew BFed when she had children.
So just do what I do and smile and nod. You probably can't educate them at this point.
I missed the mean mommy part. Okay that would have pissed me off lol!
She doesn't really care what the doctor says. I told her the doctor said breastfeeding is best for reflux, and she rolled her eyes and acted like she couldn't believe it. Or giving babies cereal very early- she did it at 3 weeks and claims it helped them sleep longer. I said doctors don't suggest that anymore and she said, "it didn't hurt my kids!' so, unfortunately saying "the doctor said XYZ" doesn't help much.
On Thursday we were supposed to go to a family function about 20 minutes away and I had asked if we could ride with her, thinking the car ride might be better for Em if I was with her. But, I do NOT want to listen to "give her a bottle!" the whole time. Nor do I want to deal with the shock/outrage when I nurse in public. Ugh. I think Em might still be feeling under the weather...
Sorry to hear that! Definitely shaking my head reading this ...
But I wanted to let you know DS was a huge car screamer too ... From the time we buckled him in the seat. We had an infant seat which was part of a travel system. We ended up getting the bigger car seat early because he is huge and looked so uncomfortable in it. Well, wouldn't you know he now falls asleep everytime in the car! He hasn't screamed in the car since the first day we put him in it. You'll eventually have to get one if you are using an infant car seat so I would look into it. I don't dread running errands anymore and we go places ALOT more than we used to!
we already switched to a convertible! I hoped it would help, but no go.
Ugh! Sorry to hear!
Only other thing I could possibly think of, which I'm sure you've also tried is cracking a window. Had to do it for my younger brother because the pressure of the car hurt his ears.
I sure hope it gets better for you. I remember those car rides and still cringe!
Same with us, once we moved our DS into a convertible car seat, no more screaming car rides.