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Working Moms
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Clicky Working Mommy Poll
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in Working Moms
So I'm seriously considering quitting my job, my DH makes enough to take care of us, but I thought I would be bored taking care of DS all day every day, now I think I'm missing too much to work. What made you want/need to go back to work?[Poll]
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Re: Clicky Working Mommy Poll
I can't answer the poll because my answer isn't one of the options. Having two working parents in our house is what works for us. If I didn't work, my husband would feel the need to work a lot more to compensate and then he would be miserable because he'd never see the kids. If I didn't work, I'd be bored at home and resent him for going off to work every day. I like my job and I'm lucky that I have a lot of flexibility when it comes to sick days, dr appts, etc. I also like having a career that I feel good about and I earn a good salary so it allows us to live comfortably and do things for our kids that we didn't get to do when we were kids. Yes, we could make it work on one salary if we really wanted to, but it wouldn't make either of us happy. Of course I miss the kids when I'm at work and so does my husband, but we make up for it at night and on weekends.
People work for a million different reasons - you need to figure out what works for you. Keep in mind that everything takes time to get used to and I would definitely recommend giving either choice a few months to see how you feel after you've gotten used to it.
ditto the 'depends on the day'
I will tell you this...your DC is young. You are newly back to work. DO NOT make a major life decision right now. Set a date about 3-4 months from now (yes MONTHS) and re-evaluate then.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Ditto pretty much everything that duchess said.
It was hard for me to answer your poll because I don't really fit any of your answers. Do I "want" to work? Well, of course not - who does? But I want to make money because DH and I enjoy the lifestyle that two incomes affords us. I want the social interaction with other professionals that working gives me. I want the stimulation that works gives me. I want that part of my identity - the part that isn't mom, isn't wife - that work gives me.
Could we afford for me to stay home? Sure, if we changed our lifestyle pretty drastically. But that wouldn't make any of us happy.
You're relatively new to the working mom thing. If you don't at least open yourself up to it, you're going to continue being miserable and resentful.
The biggest reason I work is out of financial necessity. If I didn't, our bills wouldn't get paid. Also, DH and I earn about the same, but I have more room for career growth/earning potential than he does because of my education and the field I work in.
At the same time, I love working because it allows me to have a sense of self outside of being a mom. Not that being a mom to my DD isn't great (it's my #1 priority), but I think working makes me a better mom. It's kind of like when you're around your spouse 24/7, you kinda get annoyed with them...I feel like if I was around DD all the time, she'd get annoyed with me (though I doubt I could get annoyed with her)
When you're new to being a working mom, it's hard. I know there were a thousand times in the first six months where I wanted to throw in the towel and quit. It's trite, but it does get easier
Throwing leaves
I work because right now I need to, financially speaking.
But DH's job/business are looking up, and I've been taking more days off recently, and we've talked about me proposing to my boss that I go PT.
Honestly speaking, I think even if I were able to be a SAHM, I would need to get a PT job, or regular volunteer work or something, just to get out of the house & get some adult interaction.
I don't work to get away from my kids, but I think I'll be glad that I have my own identity in 10-15 years when they are trying to get away from me.
If I knew for sure that I could walk right back into my job in 5 years, I would probably SAH for that time.
My husband could win the lottery and would want to continue working - he loves his job. If I hit the lottery I would quit and never be bored.
But outside of being independently wealthy - I think working is the best of all worlds. I do something I enjoy and my family is happy. I make a nice salary and we get to do some great things.
DH and I are opposite. I think he'd quit working if we won the lottery and I'd keep working, although I could be more selective about which projects I worked on. But yeah, I do like to work because I like my job.
I didn't answer the poll either because I was stuck between 1 and 4, and also what someone else mentioned about how leaving the work force would set their career back too far. There are so many reasons.
1. I like to shop and buy NICE things for my family
2. I'd go crazy staying home all day all by myself, I"d want to make sure we had something DAILY... like Gymboree, Little Gym, Kindermusik, a trip to a children's museum, a trip to the zoo, etc... however, if I didn't work, we definitely couldn't afford to have me do those activities DAILY...
I make more than DH and my salary on it's own is really good. So me not working would mean a very different lifestyle. We don't live beyond our means (actually I would say I'm pretty thrify), but my income allows us to travel, save for college and retirement, etc.
If we were independently wealthy and therefore wasn't concerned about funding retirement or paying health care, then would I do something different? Most likely yes!. I'd love to write a book about BF or even do speaking for BF/working mom's (don't think there's any pay in that). I'd really love to home school my kids, so that would probably become my job.
This is good advice
Eh, I'm special.
My preference woudl be to be a SAHM.
However, I work becasue I don't want to move. We could easily afford for me to stay home if we downsized our home, but it seems like more trouble than it's worth.
None of these apply to me. I work because I have to. But I don't have the "but I don't like it" part of it...I don't really let myself sit around and dwell on it. I manage the budget in my house and I know what it takes to keep it working.
Plus, I know that it is a fact of life that no one's job is safe right now. If I had a job to come back to, I was going back to work after mat. leave. Good thing, because I was spot on. 6 months after I returned to work, DH was informed that his position was being eliminated. He's been job searching for 4 months now. Thank God I didn't trust that we could live on his salary (we probably could have), because, well, it would have been hard to live on absolutely no income when it was gone.
I didn't vote because I don't have to work, don't need the money, and would not go crazy staying home all day. I love being home with LO on days off. I work because I need that separate identity other than mommy, and I need a place to focus my overachieving tendencies so they don't ruin my child. I also work because when she grows up and leaves I don't want to be left thinking the best years of my life are over.
If I couldn't work part time, though, I probably wouldn't work. I need time for my hobbies
I thought you were the one who didn't understand how a woman could stay home full time while her kids were in school because there would be nothing to do? lol
Perfectly said. Of course we all miss our DCs when we are away, but with my job I would be giving up a lot, and not guarenteed a job later because our field is flooded right now. Also, if DH lost his job, at least we would have my income to fall back on.
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I went back to work after being a SAHM for a year and a half because I missed my career and wanted more of a balance in my life. I work three half days a week, about 20 hours and it's been great for me.
It absolutely was not about the money. I am so happy to have a career.
Now that I'm back however; we are discussing me upping my hours to 32 hours a week when Julia starts K so that we can get a nicer house. That decision is about money, if I could stay at 20 hours forever, I so would, I love 20 hours, but we do want a nicer neighborhood and newer house, so 32 hours it will be.
I stayed home eight weeks with DS#1 and I went bonkers. I love my job and am not cut out to be a SAHM. It helps that the daycare center where the boys go is wonderful and they are happy so it makes it easier. Plus the benefits my job offers are superb and they are very family oriented so I don't feel trapped into a 8-5 jail.
If your not happy I would recommend trying to stay home with LO for a while. If your not happy then try to find something part-time. Being miserable isn't good for anyone.