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Success after IF
BFing disaster -- please help! (long)
Hey girls,
I had my baby on Tuesday and am at my wit's end with bfing and could really use some advice and encouragement from all you experts! Basically, we started having issues right from the beginning. At first while we were in the hospital, DD would latch on but then would not suck. If she did suck, it was for limited amounts of time and took major work to keep her going. Part of the issue is that she was extremely sleepy and would always fall asleep during feedings. I saw no less than 10 LCs and nurses at the hospital who tried to help me. We had some successful feedings, but not without a ton of work and tears. By the time we came home from the hospital, she was starting to get dehydrated and became jaundiced so the pedi told me to give her some formula but not to give up on BFing. So we have been supplementing with formula since then in order to keep her healthy. Now on our 3rd day home from the hospital, it is at the point where she won't even latch on any more. My milk started to come in today and I am becoming engorged. I have tried hand expressing milk to get her interested but she just isn't. She does look for my nipple and puts her mouth on it but won't stay on, ends up extremely frustrated and crying which obviously is so hard to watch as a mom. It feels like I am starving her. Of course, she gladly takes the bottle as soon as it is offered.
I have called an LC and am waiting to hear back for some help, but was wondering what any of you thought. Should I start pumping immediately? I feel like I have tried every trick in the book (at least all the tips they told me at the hospital and in my BFing class) to get her to latch, suck, and stay awake during feedings and nothing is working! I don't want to give up but at the same time it is so hard to keep going when I see how easy it would be to just feed her formula from a bottle all the time!
Thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any advice you can offer!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BFing disaster -- please help! (long)
I would start pumping if I was you, you don't want to kell your supply.
I pumped from the beginning and slowing introduced my nipple and they do great.
GL, don't give up! It will get easier.
At least if you pump she can get your milk through a bottle and get a tast of the good stuff.
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
First and foremost, a huge congratulations!!!
I think this is my story two years after the fact! What you?re describing is very normal -- newborns are very sleepy, and keeping them awake for feedings is really hard!
I ended up EPing starting when DD was 3 days old. I was told the same thing as far as formula so I supplemented with some formula beginning at 2 days old until I was able to get a good enough supply with what I pumped, and stopped formula completely at 6 days old.
I realize that 6 weeks is light years away right now, but if you can make it to 6 weeks, 99% of the time you?ll be set. From birth to 6 weeks, it?s survival breastfeeding-wise. Take it minute by minute and day by day. All you can really do as far as I know is keep up your supply, keep her fed, and keep practicing latching when possible. If she refuses, don't worry about it for now.
Everything you?re describing is very common. I don?t know why they don?t do a better job of teaching that in classes, since my class was the same way.
FWIW, I was eventually able to retire the pump, and two years later, DD is still nursing! Keep up the great work, Mommy! My very best wishes to you!!!
ETA: I used a cup to feed her for a few days, followed by a syringe starting when she was about a week old -- I didn't want her to get used to the bottle. If it's important for you to get her to be able to latch, you might want to try cup feeding or syringe feeding. I didn't offer DD a standard bottle until after she nursed perfectly and I had put the pump away for good! Some may disagree about nipple confusion, but I didn't want to take any chances. Again, GOOD LUCK!!!
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
i had major issues, but i'm still bfing almsot 11m later.
we had the sleepiest baby on the planet, even our highly experienced LC couldn't wake him .....lotion didn't really wake him or it did for minutes at a time. keep trying...we did wet cloth everything...
get an LC, it helped me greatly. I had to take drugs to help me and those only helped a little. It was enough to keep me going for 11m but I do say I do supplement almost daily now....it is the balance I had...I felt even if he got 1oz I was going to keep doing it. He gets more BM than that, but you get the point.
an LC can see if you are making enough. I had to religiously feed him every 2-3 hrs and sometimes every hour.
good luck with whatever you do - even if you stop. Just remember not to stop on a bad day.
Did they check her tongue to make sure she isn't tongue-tied? That was the first thing our pediatrician checked after she was born, but not everyone does.
Even though I nursed a lot in the hospital, I still got terribly engorged - it's mostly from the fluids I had at the end of labor when I got an epidural (plus all the other excess fluids), not milk. What helped me get through the engorgement was hot showers, then nursing or pumping right away. I seriously took 5-6 showers a day for a couple of days. It was enough to get the milk moving (only colostrum was coming out, but there was milk backed up behind it) despite the swelling. The doctor also told me short periods of time with cabbage leaves would help the engorgement and not hurt my supply. I also used a supplemental nursing system with a tube and a syringe so she would get formula while nursing (but still had to work for it). We always changed her diaper before nursing and usually nursed her without dressing her. The LC at the pediatrician gave me a hospital-grade pump to use, and I got very little out to begin with, but it gradually started coming. I also nursed at least every two hours around the clock (now I get one 4-hour stretch of sleep at night).
I'm still struggling (and having to supplement more now) because DD didn't gain since last week.
I have a feeding assessment on Monday. The LC at the pediatrician is awesome, and I don't know what I would do without her, so I hope you can find someone similar. I am going to start going to the LLL meetings as well (I meant to start before I delivered but got off track).
Good luck!
Did the hospital LCs look for tongue tie? My son has it and had trouble latching in the beginning. His issue was a little different than you are describing, though -- he would suck vigorously but ineffectively and then fall off. We supplemented with formula and a SNS for one day, and we are using a nipple shield until we have his frenulum clipped (soon). He is gaining well using the shield and is satisfied after feedings.
Not sure if tongue tie is what is causing your problem but it is worth asking them to check. I know some hospitals overlook it at first, I've had friends wait months for a diagnosis....
I am thankful every day for my miracle after infertility.
And thrilled to be pregnant again after FET!
This sounds like me at the beginning. The sleepiness was something he just had to outgrow. My milk didn't come in until five days post-partum, and he became dehydrated at three days old. The hospital had me supplement with formula from a bottle, but the breastfeeding clinic I went to a week later had me use a lactation aid instead -- it was a tube that I slipped into his mouth next to my nipple while he tried to nurse (the other end was in a bottle of formula). That way he was still stimulating the breast and learning to nurse while getting the supplementation he needed. It was a pain in the butt but I guess it did the job.
As pp said, the first six weeks are really hard, but it will get better as you both figure it out and get comfortable with it.
Hang in there, and good luck!
The very best advice I can give you, having gone through exactly what you did less than a month ago, is DO NOT give up.
If I were you, I would start pumping, every three hours. That will build up your supply, and give you enough to give baby BM instead of formula.
Then, keep offering baby the breast...before every feeding for sure, and any other time she is awake. You want to get her on the breast before she gets fussy or starts crying.
The best advice that I got, from a friend who nursed her son for 22 months, was to strip baby down to her diaper, take your top off and just hang out. Seriously, all day...as long as it takes. She will nurse. Don't stress about it, you've got plenty of time...I would get in the bed and hang out with her all day...have your hubby bring you food and drink, and just stay with her. Skin to skin was the very most valuable thing that we did, and it worked.
Don't give up, Mama...it gets easier...
I agree with pp - I would pump to help w/the engorgement but I would only pump until you are comfortable...then try to BF...if that doesn't work then pump some more and feed that to the baby with a syringe, spoon or cup to avoid nipple confusion (b/c it sounds kind of like you already have a little of that going on w/the baby easily taking the bottle but refusing the breast). if the baby is still hungry then pump some more and feed that but don't just pump to empty your breasts or else you may end up with over supply which is a problem I had initially and that is no fun either, drowning your baby in breast milk.
the sleepy thing is so common in newborns and I struggle w/that too. I have to change her diaper to wake her... and if that doesn't work i have to undress her completely (except diaper) to wake her up. another trick i've found is the nasal aspirator - suctioning her nose pisses her off and wakes her up real good
trust me, I know how you feel. my milk was late to come in (didn't come in until end of day 6) and we were adamant about not supplementing with formula. by day 5 when we left the hospital she was down 11% and by day 6 she was down 13%... at one point while we were changing her I looked at her little body and I could see how thin she was and I could see her ribs sticking out and her spine on her back and I just lost it and started bawling b/c I felt like I was starving her since my milk had not come in yet. but we persisted and 5 days after my milk came in she was already back up in weight to where she was only 5% below birth weight and she had surpassed birth weight by 2 wks.
definitely get some more help from the LC as soon as you can. in the mean time try to stick with it, the first few weeks are sooooooo hard and no one tells you that. the good thing is that your milk has already come in so there is really no need to supplement w/formula...just pump and give her BM until you can get help...
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Congrats on your daughter! I'm sorry you're having a rough time with BFing right now, but don't give up! My DD was born 6 weeks early and she wasn't developmentally ready to nurse at the breast. The nurses were very straightforward with me about that and encouraged me to rent a hospital grade pump, which we did. I EP'd for almost 6 weeks and only tried to give DD the breast a few times in that time. About a week before her actual due date, we tried again and she picked it up and never looked back. I think pumping saved me a lot of frustration and tears, and we knew how much DD was eating. I even worked up a nice freezer stash in the process.
In that first 5+weeks we had a system where I would pump every 2-3 hours. During the night, DH would give her a bottle while I pumped. It was stressful - but you CAN do it! DD didn't have any nipple confusion going between bottle and breast. We did have to give her some high calorie formula in the first few days while waiting for my milk to come in (she was just over 5 lbs.), but once my milk was in, we dropped the formula.
Good luck! If you want your DD to nurse, I would start pumping and keep trying to get her to nurse. We tried nipple shields, which seemed to help in the process.