TTC After a Loss

OM F'ing G !!! I quit life!!! :::crying:::

So, I go to Costco this AM to get pics of Haleigh printed.

I get there- tell the girl from behind the counter that the pics I need printed are of my still born daughter. She reaches out- touches my hand and said: "I lost one too, I understand." So, of course, I start crying in public and have to walk away for 10 minutes to collect myself.... and then finish ordering my pics.

Then, I go to another counter to do a return and I get a phone call. It is a pretty good friend of mine.

Conversation:

her: "how ya' doing? I called your house and your Dh told me to call your cell."

me: "I am at costco ordering pics of Haleigh- it has been a tough day." (voice cracks as I start crying again)

her: "how are you doing w/ all that?"

Me: "just taking life one day at a time."

her: "Yeah. cause that is what you have to do." (as if she has a f'ing clue!!!)

her: "well, I have something to tell you! (giggles w/ excitment!)

Me: "what?" (as stomach drops)

her: "I'm pg!!!! I can't believe it! I am so excited! I wanted to call you and tell you -but also ask.... like.... what do I do? Should I make a Dr. appt or what?"

me: "Uh - yeah and vitamins. Lisa, I am in a store, can I call you later?"

her:  "yeah. please do."

I f'ing hate my life. I quit! I could f'ing punch a b!tch! I called DH and asked him if he knew why she was trying to reach me... He says: Yeah. She is pg and wanted to tell you. Me: (while crying again!) thanks for that... that is exactly what I needed to hear while I am ordering pics of our dead daughter!" then i hung up the phone.

#1: PMS'ing, #2: Ordered pics today of dead daughter. #3: DH knowlying had her call my cell while @ costco ordering pics. #4: so-called friend asking me advise on how her loser bf and her can prepare for a baby.

i know you ladies understand - and the rest of the world can eat sh!t and die!

vent not nearly over....

Re: OM F'ing G !!! I quit life!!! :::crying:::

  • you need to find new friends, and I'd kinda like to crotch kick your DH for allowing that one past the gate.
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  • i am so sorry, what a terrible person, to call you and tell you that.  i bailed on going to dinner with a friend of mine last night, because she wanted to show me her sonogram pictures! i hate life also right now and plan on going out drinking with hubby tonite!
  • Roxy I'm so sorry.  I can't believe he told her to call you.  Throat punches all around.  Do you want me to fly out there to deliver them personally?
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  • imageShellShockedMama:
    you need to find new friends, and I'd kinda like to crotch kick your DH for allowing that one past the gate.
    This YES!!!! While Shell kicks her in the crotch I will aim for a throat punch!!

    I'm so sorry... (((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • imagerjl07:
    Roxy I'm so sorry.  I can't believe he told her to call you.  Throat punches all around.  Do you want me to fly out there to deliver them personally?

    How about we all just meet in Mexico and drownd our sarrows...????

  • OMG hun. I am so sorry. Your "friend" sounds like a real peach. And how could DH not know that would hurt you so bad? Ugh. Sometimes I feel like they make such progress and then just do something like this.

    I am glad you are getting your pictures though.

    (((((((((((((((huge hugs)))))))))))))))))))

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  • imageroxyttandme:

    imagerjl07:
    Roxy I'm so sorry.  I can't believe he told her to call you.  Throat punches all around.  Do you want me to fly out there to deliver them personally?

    How about we all just meet in Mexico and drownd our sarrows...????

    I like your idea much better!  Call Katie and tell her to get the guest room ready for us. 

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  • What is WRONG with people? Have they no sense? No compassion?

    UGH!

    BFP #1 10/17/09: missed m/c at 7 weeks; BFP #2 10/22/10: chemical pregnancy; BFP #3: 1/28/11

    Baby Boy Smudgie born 10/4/11

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  • I'm up for a throat punch/Mexico excapade!

     

    :::Puts on Sombrero and boxing gloves::::

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  • I'm so sorry. It's really hard to have IRL friends that understand things sometimes.

    I would like to take a moment and do this to your very cruel, untimely, and insensitive friend----image

     

  • imageShellShockedMama:
    you need to find new friends, and I'd kinda like to crotch kick your DH for allowing that one past the gate.

    This.  I'm so sorry.  :(  What a hard thing.  I would think my friends would have better sense than that, you know?  That SUCKS.  :(

  • First of all your friend needs a new sensitivity chip since hers is clearly missing. Second....c'mon DH. Really?
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  • Why the F would your husband tell her to call you?  WTF?  I am so sorry you had to go through all of that today.  {{hugs}}
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  • I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this today.  I understand your friend wanting to share her news.  I just can't comprehend how she continued to do so after you told her you were getting pictuers of Haleigh.  Completely insensitive.

    If she's a good friend and one you want to keep, I'd call her out on the timing.  Not cool.  I hope you have a better evening.

    image

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  • That is horrible!  I am so sorry you had to go through that today, and that your dh was so unbelievably clueless.  People have no sense.  (((BIG HUGS)))
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  • That is almost unbearable to bear.  I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you.  First, shame on DH if he knew that she was PG.  That call needed to be blocked from you.  Second, even more shame on this "friend" to even tell you that she was PG - that is heartless on her behalf.

    Take a moment and just look at the pictures that you printed. I hope they can bring you some comfort as you deal with all of this.

    Hugs to you.

  • I'm so sorry Elizabeth....

    Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend.  It should be obvious to her that when pg, call the doctor.  

    And unfortunately, I have to agree with the pp --- DH messed that one up.  I think he should have just told her that he could tell you (when it was appropriate).  Sorry again dear.  :-(  ((((Hugs))))

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  • I am so sorry Roxy. 
    BFP 4/23/09. D&E 7/17/09 16W5D. BFP #2 3/10/10. EDD 11/15/10 Babycakes was born 11/5/10! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I can't believe that, it does not take a therapist to understand that that was the wrong time to tell you. I'm sorry, hugs. I hope you feel better soon.
  • your friend has some fvcking nerve.

    i am so sorry.

  • I am so sorry.  You know I really believe that most people just have no clue until the experience a loss. 
    ~Married- 10.20.2007~ TTC Since- 4.3.2009 ~BFP#1- 8.25.2009 ~ Missed M/C and D&C-10.9.2009 ~BFP#2-8.12.2010 ~ EDD- 4.20.2011~ It
  • Oh man, I wish I could give you a big hug. Your friend is so insensitive, it's unbelievable.
  • She's a POS friend.  Seriously.  It's absolutely ridiculous to comprehend how inconsiderate she can be.
    *~*Mommy to*~*
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    BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
    BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
    BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
    BFP #7 4/20/12 21 DPO beta: 2382 29 DPO beta: 23000! HB 6w2d 116 bpm due Christmas day!
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  • I am so sorry you had to deal with that today! (((HUGS))) Ppl are idiots. ::throat punches your DH and said "friend":::
  • *huge hugs*
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  • That had to be soooo  hard for you! I'm so sorry and how crappy of your friend! (((HUGS)))

    TTC Since Oct 08 BFP #1- 1/23/09, missed m/c 2/26/09 BFP #2- 9/8/09, natural m/c 9/16/09 BFP #3- 4/13/10, missed m/c 5/26/10 BFP #4- 4/6/11 beta#1 at 12dpo-133 prog-55.7, beta#2 at 16dpo- 861 DD born 12/8/2011 BFP#5- 11/23/12 EDD 7/25/13 Dx- Uterine septum (removed Aug 2010), endo, MTHFR C677t hetero, Factor II hetero, Low Protein S Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Wow, I am so sorry. Sometimes I can't believe how insensitive others can be. Hope tomorrow will be better for you.
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  • Wow...I hate people.
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