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Anyone whose DH works nights? (vent kind of..)

betizzle73betizzle73
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

... Mine does.. and It's beginning to get to me! Since I'm not working right now, I've kind of put myself on his schedule. He works from 11pm to 7am, and so I pretty much stay up during that time getting things done (or just laying on the couch, haha). We eat together when he gets home, and then sleeps until about 3:30. We pretty much spend the day together, until it's time for him to leave again. I think we do an awesome job of keeping eachother strong. I rarely get upset when he's here. We spend a lot of time talking about Olivia and laughing about funny things that happened with her.. and for some reason it doesn't make me cry. BUT ... as soon as he leaves at night, I lose it! Being alone at night probably isn't the most ideal thing for this situation. If he worked during the day I got have friends over or go out and do things with them, or my mom, etc. Now, I can't even talk to anyone on the phone really, because they're all sleeping since they have normal work schedules! I'm getting very frustrated!
What's worse, I do things to bring on the tears on purpose! Kurt and I read a storybook to Olivia when we were in the transition room at the hospital. It's been sitting on the dining room table since we came home a few weeks ago. Tonight, I was waiting for my popcorn to finish in the microwave, and for GOD knows what reason, I decided to read it to myself. I sat down at the table and read it out loud. I cried through the whole thing, and continued to bawl my eyes out for about 20 minutes! These are the kinds of things that DON'T happen during the day. I know it's supposed to be good to cry, and I know it's a part of the grieving process, but sometimes I just wish I could be numb 24 hours a day. ugh.

 Oh man, sorry for such a long vent. I just wanted to share with someone.. and like I said, I have no one that I can actually talk to in the middle of the night... and it's 4AM here!

If it doesn't make you too upset to think about it, what are some of the things that really "get" to you guys?

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Re: Anyone whose DH works nights? (vent kind of..)

  • jesmckennajesmckenna member

    I don't know how you are getting through this being alone so much. ?I would be a mess. ?I think a lot of times I look through this message board just to get a good cry out. ?Writing my own story and reading everyone else's just makes me feel sad that so many of us are going through such a difficult time- especially around the holidays. ?

    I hope you find peace somehow. ?I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. ??

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  • goillini823goillini823 member

    My DH doesn't work nights, but I understand what you mean when everything seems ok when he's around. I SAH, and I do have another child that keeps me very busy during the day, but she takes 3-4 hour naps on most days, and that's when I tend to just lose it and break down. The time I'm completely by myself in a quiet house seems to just bring all the emotions. DH and I talk about Gabriel just fine w/o breaking down, but when I think of him and I'm alone I just can't control myself. 

    We are here for you. I'm occasionally up late just cause I can't sleep.

    Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    {{hugs}}
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