anyone wonder how this PPD/PPA will affect their LO?
I've pretty much have had a nervous/mental breakdown from the day after Jimmy's birth.
I have nursed him and tried to do my best at the whole motherhood thing while suffering endlessly through the extreme anxiety/nerves and panic and depression.
Trust me, this is as bad as it gets without being hospitalized which is what my counselor even suggested last week.
This is all while I'm still on Cymbalta (from a year ago).
I just wonder how this will have an affect on him in the short and long term.
Will he be a nervous boy as well?
Will he not know how to calm down? Will he inherit through nurture or nature my predisposition for all this?
Just makes me sad that my little one had to be born to a mom with such a propensity for grief like this.
If only my mind could just "shut off" the negative and breathe in the positive. If only it were that easy. The racing thoughts, the deeeeep thinking that never seems to turn off, the insurmountable fears....etc.
I pray to God "Please Lord, let my son be calm in the face of his mom's own tornado".
Just wanted to vent.
Thanks.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Re: anyone wonder how this PPD/PPA will affect their LO?
I do worry about it but more so because I have always had anxiety issues and I am afraid of passing those on moreso than how the PPA/PPD will effect him. I worried every time I got stressed or upset while pregnant, how it would effect him or change him in the womb. Anxiety and depression run in my family and I worry about how it will express itself (if it does at all) in him. I think that the best thing we can do is get the help we need and become an example to them so to speak. Show them it is okay to get help if needed, that you can overcome anxiety, that there is hope even on the darkest days.
Personally, I think that your little boy will thrive from having a strong Mom who gets the help she needs out of love for him. You obviously love your son and love goes a very long way. Hang in there, it will get better I promise. Children are so resilent, you will both make it through this just fine!!
Thank you, RavenW
I'm praying for your peace as well.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
This is a great way to look at it. Well said!
My parents have both struggled with anxiety/panic attacks and even though it was probably passed down to me through nature/nature - they have also passed down to me what they have learned through their experience with it. They have been so wonderfully supportive of me. They are the only ones who I know truly understand what I am going through because they have gone through it themselves. I am so thankful for that. so thankful to have that support and so thankful for all that they have taught me about how to deal with anxiety. I don't have to start from square one like they did. So yes - you will be able to take what you have gone through and use it for the good of your child.
) And the family cycle will slowly be broken.
I think your LO is lucky to be born to a mother who is taking care of herself and getting the help she needs. That will set a good example of how we need to face our problems and not bottle them up. Bottling up your feelings is very unhealthy and leads to negative behaviors. Sharing your feelings and seeking help promotes healing and positive behaviors. You are also demonstrating that you love your son so much, you will do what it takes to be the best mother you can be.
I know it upsets my DD when I am too tired to interact with her, or when she sees me cry. But I think she is resilient and I am working on getting better so that I can give the best of myself to her. I think depression does run in families, but I will be open with DD if she develops any, and share my experience with her. I will also know to guide her towards seeking help, herself.