Multiples

IL's just don't get it!

My IL's live about 1hr15min from my house and close to 2 hrs from the hospital. My dr said she didn't want me travelling past 32 weeks (which is next Tuesday) I will be 33w2d for Christmas. In all reality, I didn't want to go deal with the drama at DH's side of the family's house, so I had no problem with this restriction. Not only are they in the middle of nowhere, but they don't have a hospital with a NICU anywhere near them. Its near where I live. Well FIL and SIL are making a big deal that I won't get to watch DS open his Christmas presents (on CE) I fully understand that I will be missing it. It sucks, but I would rather stay at home than have to travel a total of 2 1/2 hrs in a car in one day. DH keeps saying that we might just make a quick trip up there. That doesn't change the fact that we will be in the car for 2 1/2 hrs!!!! I'm already uncomfortable when I have to drive to the dr which is 35 min away from my house! UGH!! Why can't they understand that I am doing this for my babies (well and a little selfishly for me too)

Re: IL's just don't get it!

  • Just tell them your doctor doesn't want you traveling past 32 weeks.  End of story. Maybe you could invite them to visit you at your house on christmas eve and open gifts there?

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  • Mine haven't been the greatest about understanding that either.  MIL kept asking us if we could go to their house (in the boonies) the weekend after Thanksgiving to see DH's grandpa who he's never even been close to.  They live about the same distance away as yours.  We didn't go because just walking around our own house is painful and slow!

    However, our 1st nephew (from SIL) was born early that weekend, so the following weekend we drove about 40-45 minutes to meet him.  Just couldn't pass it up because if we hadn't gone then I don't know when we'd get the chance after our girls are born!

    Hang in there and don't let them make you feel bad.  Why will DS be there without you?  And tell your hubby to stop giving them hope if you really have no plans of going... my hubby used to do the same thing with his mom and it just ended up hurting more in the end when we had to break news last minute.  Couldn't they come to you to celebrate either for Christmas Eve or sometime close to Christmas? 

  • Follow the doctor's orders and stay home. You should not be 2 hours away from the hospital at this stage in a twin pregnancy. This needs to be made clear to your in-laws AND your DH. Even if you did feel comfortable doing the drive, why risk the chance of something happening? Your babies' health comes first.

    If anything the inlaws should be coming to you on Christmas Eve, not the other way around.

  • DH's grandfather is hosting his side of the family's get together on CE and I told DH to take DS up there so that they wouldn't miss out on it. DH and IL's were going to exchange presents after grandfathers get together. MIL and FIL said they wanted to come down on Christmas to see us so that is somewhat of a comprimise. (They have only been to our house about 6 or so times in the past 3 yrs so its a big step that they come down) I don't mind that DS and DH will be up there opening presents without me. I understand that I can't go.

  • Your DH should go alone if he wants to go.  Seriously, was he not there to hear your OB say you couldn't go?  If he wasn't then you should setup an appt or a phone call and put your OB on speaker when he/she says "Doctor's orders, she's not going".

    He needs to put the health of those babies in front of his desires.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I would stay home.  The health of you and your babies is the MOST important thing.  I ended up traveling to visit my father and step mother over an hour away at 28 weeks even though I was VERY uncomfortable.  Low and behold after I returned home on Sunday night I started having a lot of contractions and ended up in L&D on the next day.  Luckily it was just BH and they were able to stop it with terbulataline and there was no cervical change, just very uncomfortable and scary.  I swear it was as a result of doing too much and being in the car all that time.  We were lucky that it wasn't real labor, but you just never know what could happen.

    My IL's don't get it either.  I have been on bed rest since our admission at 30 weeks and are scheduled for a c-section on Monday and my IL's called us last night to see if we wanted to go to dinner this weekend, before the babies come.  I almost died!  Are you kidding me....um...what part of bed rest do you not get?  I can hardly walk around my own house and going to the Dr is hard enough....I can't and should not go to eat!  

    I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.  I know it's hard when it's the Holidays and all and people are used to doing things a certain way, but just think that next year at this time, you will have your babies and things will be great!  One Holiday where you stay home isn't going to hurt anyone.  We did it this Thanksgiving.  We were both sick and so we're our parents and so we stayed home and got a pre-cooked meal.  We told both my Mom and my IL's that we don't want anyone coming over and being exposed to anything.  Not the ideal Holiday but it was what was best!

    GL to you!!!!! 

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