Multiples

IVF insults

Sigh... an ex-friend who is also pregnant recently told other friends that I am just jealous of her because all I can have are "test tube babies".  

The comment really stung, even though most of what she has hurled at me I am able to brush off without much of a reaction.  But this... this hurt.  I am in no way jealous of her, maybe a bit confused as to why someone as awful as her can concieve, but I think that is kind of a common issue that we all grapple with when we are TTC.  

I can't help but think that my babies are going to have to deal with this as children someday.  The inner-b*tch in me would like to coach them to say something like, "At least my mommy wanted me!"  But I won't.

I'm just annoyed.  I've thought of my babies as god-sent miracles, and to have their creation hurled around as part of an insult... ugh, it's annoying.

 

Re: IVF insults

  • Indifferent

    OMG I can't believe someone would actually say that.  I am so sorry you are dealing with ignorant people like that.

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  • I can't believe that she would say that, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised given what people say.  That is so rude and I would be very hurt as well.  It sounds like she has issues, not you.  
  • I can see why this person is an ex-friend... No

     

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  • Wow - this ex friend must think a lot of herself.

    That is just wrong in so many levels, I am sure you already know this: but know that your babies are loved no matter how/where they were concieved.

    Don't let her feel that she is labeling those babies.

    They are wanted just as much as her babies.

    Perhaps she is jealous because you are having twins and she is not.

  • I am so sorry she said that to you.  Its a very ignorant and insensitive comment.
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  • Oh my goodness, what an awful thing to say.  Ugh, I can see, as others said, why she is an ex friend.  She sounds like she is still stuck in adolescence.  Your little ones are wanted and very loved that is all that really truly matters. 
    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
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    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










  • keep people like that out of your life- and you won't have a need to tell your babies anything... kids won't know how they are concieved - only a-hole adults like this ex-friend will... keep her an ex. She's no friend, that is for sure.

     

  • First of all, she sounds like someone you should drop as a friend. She is not worth your energy!

    Second of all, who says your children have to know they are "test tube babies." Just don't tell them, I am not telling mine.

    Abigail Noelle, 8.29.09
    Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
    Claire Zoe, 10.26.10

  • imageSweets2005:

    First of all, she sounds like someone you should drop as a friend. She is not worth your energy!

    Second of all, who says your children have to know they are "test tube babies." Just don't tell them, I am not telling mine.

    Me too - at least not when they're kids. 

    That ex-friend sounds like a total ***.  Brush it off, you can't rationalize the existence of crazies.  Theyre just part of life.  ;)

  • WOW. I'm so sorry. Although I've never had anything like THAT said to me, I know how annoying when people bring up the fact that you got pregnant in an unconventional way. WHO CARES!?

    Hang in there.....a baby is a baby, no matter how you look at it. Sounds like she's the one who's jelous...

  • Who calls them test tube babies anymore?  ::::rolling eyes::::  What an idiot.  I can see why she's an ex friend. I have a feeling that it's the other way around.  She's jealous because you're having twins.  
  • She should definitely stay an ex-friend.  I've gotten a lot of very rude comments about ivf.  I actually don't tell people anymore that Sofia and Ava were conceived that way.  Not because I am embarrassed but because I don't feel like justifying my decisions to everyone who feels they need an answer.  And we are not telling Sofia and Ava how they were conceived.  I think she is the one who is jealous.  
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  • I am so sorry you have to deal with that.  Like a pp said, it sounds like she is jealous of you. 
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  • Ummm, I'm just a lurker but I have to say that your "friend" is a beeeeotch.  If she EVER says that craaap again, you make sure to reply, well at least my baby wasn't an ooops!
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