- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
lollipop320
member
How long will you let your child live at home?
lollipop320
member
How long are you going to let your child live at home? Will you kick them out into the real world once they hit 18? What if they don't go to college and want to stay home a bit longer?
This is stemming from my mom's situation and the blended family. Her husband has a child from a previous marriage who is 22. She has gone to a tech college and has moved back home since then and is barely working. She does not help around the house nor pay for anything. It is driving my mom nuts because she is always around.
So, what is acceptable to you? Will you let them stay home as long as they want with some guidelines or kick them out at a certain age?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How long will you let your child live at home?
It depends on the situation. If they're in school/working then they can stay. If they're being a moocher and doing nothing they're gone.
Ex: my DH moved back in with his parents before we got engaged/while we were engaged. We didn't want to live together before we were married and it didn't make sense for him to find an apartment so his parents gladly let him move home during that time.
Depends on the situation. I moved back home after I graduated college until I found a job that could support car/rent/bills. So I moved out at 18 then again at 23, but I did chores and paid for my long distance (no rent or anything). I also helped out with groceries, like if my mom asked me to pick something up, I wouldn't ask to be paid back.
That being said, I would have to put my foot down if my kid was just lazing about.
I know that some people don't agree with this mentality, but it was an expectation in my house growing up (actually we were expected to at least get our master's degree). I expect my children to go to college. My DH is a college professor and we have over 150 schools to choose from where our children can attend for free. So...I expect my children to move out and go to college after they graduate from high school.
If circumstantial roadblocks occur, we'll deal with them as they come. You can't plan for everything...
ETA: If I ever needed to move back home for whatever reason, my parents would still accept me with open arms. I will do the same for my kids as long as they aren't moochers and working to better their situation.
I have family members in this situation. I also lived in something like this.
I didn't go off to college until I was 23. I lived at home until then. I also ended up moving back home with my parents shortly after we discovered that I was pregnant. I am so incredibly greatful for my parents allowing me to do this. But, I also helped pay rent, I paid my own bills, and I was working.
My cousin doesn't do any of these things, is 25, and living with her parents. They pay all of her bills, and her mom even does her laundry!
As long as DS, or any of our other children for that matter, want to live with us, we will be fine with it. But they also have to be paying for their own things, possibly paying rent, and acting responsibly.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown
Married 3-1-08 | Nathan 11-24-08 | Kaelyn 11-30-10 | Alicia 8-17-13
DD will always be welcome to live with us ... with the understanding that she can't just hang out, be a slob, and not pitch in. If she's working and/or going to school and contributing to the household duties and/or utilities? Fine. But it wouldn't be OK for her to just live like a toddler without responsibility when she's fully grown.
DH's brother still lives at home. He has a very well paying job, buys none of the groceries, helps with none of the housework, and pays none of the bills. It drives me nuts. He just walks all over the IL's and they will do nothing to change it.
After highschool your choice is to go to college or get a job and make it on your own. A child who chose not to go to college, I would give 6 months at home to get a job and save up money for the basic needs of setting up their life. Same thing with post college graduation - you can live at home for 6 months to save money for 1st month's rent, furniture, etc.
That being said, my children will always know if something were to ever happen and they needed my help, I would be there with an open door. This means, they lost their job and are busting their butt to find a new one. They took a part time job to at least get by but need to come back home. Open door policy does not apply to "Well, I just don't really like this job and want to take some time off" or "I got myself into a crap load of debt being irresponsible and want to come back home."
This is well said. I agree with all of it.
I will let them stay at home as long as they need BUT with some guidelines. They will have to work and help out around the house. They will also be responsible for their own bills(gas, CC, healthcare/ins, etc.)I think it depends on the situation/circumstances also.
My sister is 24 and still lives with my parents. She went away to college for 5 years and was supposed to get married this past summer but the groom changed his mind on the day of the wedding so she moved back home. She pays her school loans, cell phone bill, car and health insurance, puts gas in her car, pays for her food when they go out. She was not able to get a teaching job this year and is teaching pre-k at a preschool so she really can't afford her own place. She would like to move out and will as soon as she can afford to.
depends on the situation, but really i would prefer my children to away to college (that's part of the whole experience!) and if they need a place to live while they are job hunting that's fine or if they have to move back in b/c of some illness/layoff/etc then fine, but just to hang out??? noway.
after i went away to college i never lived at home again...until we moved back to the area and needed a place to stay while we built our house. but that was clearly a very temporary situation.
I always used my mom's as a home base...if I was in between apartments, etc. I lived there. And of course during summer/winter breaks from school. She never had any issue with that. Same with my DH's parents. But we were both also working (after college).
I imagine we'll be the same with our kids. However, I don't know what I would do if they were a slacker/mooch. We'd probably try to help them at first...I hate to think I'd ever want to/have to kick one of my kids out and have them suffer, even if that was the only way they'd learn
I can't remember what Dh and I decided. I think we were thinking until 20, or depending on the situation. We have a friend that still lives at home with her parents and she 27. Granted she lived in her own apartment for 5 years, however I don't know how that counts when her parents paid the rent, grocery, all utilities, and paid her college tution through her master's program. She dropped out of the program 2 papers short because, she "just couldn't do them." She also has no job and doesn't plan on looking for one because, "they aren't exactly what I'm looking for." We definitely want to avoid a situation such as this.
I think we also agreed that if our Dc is working, going to school, or otherwise trying to work out a life for themselves we would be open to letting them live at home longer. We would also probably charge rent.
<a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=6sdydj" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.tinypic.com/6sdydj.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
Joseph can live here until he's old and grey if he wants.
I don't care how old he is. I care that he's a functioning human being. If he's going to school or working, or trying to find work, that's fine. He's welcome to stay here as long as he follows the rules.
At some point, as a functioning human being, he's going to want to make his own rules. When that point comes, it will be time for him to find his own place.
In that situation, no, I would not be OK with her lying around my house not lifting a finger. The husband ought to tell the daughter to get her *** together and get a job if she wants to stay there.
I would let Ian stay home as long as he wanted if he were in school, or already finished and working full-time and being a productice member of society. If he wasn't in school and/or working, then we'd have to have a serious talk and he'd have to make up his mind to either get his butt in school, get a job, or get his own place (which would require a job anyway to pay rent).
I think DD will be welcome to move back in after college, as long as she is actively looking for work or working. I wouldn't have a problem with her living with us for 1, possibly even 2 years to aid her in saving up some money.
I would not charge her rent or utilities- but she would have to prove that she had a solid savings plan and once she reached a certain financial goal, she would need to find her own place. I would not allow her to just live the good life at my house- I think those first few years of struggling are an important part of growing up and becoming an independent adult.
idk,when i was barely 17, my parents moved to a small house with two bedrooms and told me there was no room for me. so i have been on my own since then. now they moan and complain that i don't come visit them enough. pfft...
it all depends on the situation. i would be happy as hell to have my kids like living with me for as long as they want. but if i do my job as a parent, they're going to want to leave and live their own lives at a certain point. i will definitely hope they go to college, but if they're not ready at 18, i'm not about to ship them off. i want them to make smart choices for themselves and not push them out the door just because "it's time".
ITA