Attachment Parenting

Question from an IF'er

Hi, ladies. I lurk on here a lot, seeing as I don't yet have my own little one. However, I am just curious about something... how do you handle daycare if you AP? Do you just search around and try to find one with the same value system? I'm trying to plan ahead in hopes that we'll soon have our own, but I don't think we'll be in a position to be a SAHM.

Just wondering how you all handle this?

Re: Question from an IF'er

  • We are on a nanny hunt at the moment.  I work from home so I just need someone part time but for us this was the most logical thing!
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  • With ds we tried to find a daycare that agreed to not use CIO and used gentle discipline.  We took care in picking the provider and made sure to use lots of snuggle time when we got home.  Co-sleeping really helped as well.
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  • Our daycare is very child-led and child-centric.  There is no CIO, no time-outs, no schedules in the infant rooms, no "deadlines" to drop the bottle, PT, etc.  They also love babies and hold them as much as possible. 

    Finding a great daycare can be a challenge, but they are out there.  :-)

    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09
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  • A family friend keeps DS - would that be an option for you?
  • imageEcoBaby:
    A family friend keeps DS - would that be an option for you?

    Unfortunately, no. We're Army, so we live far away from family and anyone I would trust enough for that. Sad

    Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions, ladies! I really appreciate it, and I hope to be joining you on this board soon!  Big Smile

  • we leave him with family.

    one day a week he stays with dh

    MIL has him 2 days a week

    and the other two days i drop him off at my aunts house and when my mom gets off work at 10ish she picks him up and keeps him till i get off at about 4

     

    so far its been working for us except my mom and aunt have no clue when it comes to BM. they spill it and shake it and im sure they over heat it. im trying to work with them on it but my mom especially is annoyed by all my "rules" her fall back is always "well i never did any of that stuff"

    surprisingly MIL is really good about my wishes as far as how to care for DS but i think she gets really worried or frustrated if he is fussy and starts crying. she has a hard time soothing/calming him. she tries though she hasnt let him cry it out or anything it just takes her longer to quiet him down than it does me or dh

  • imagemissred75:

    imageEcoBaby:
    A family friend keeps DS - would that be an option for you?

    Unfortunately, no. We're Army, so we live far away from family and anyone I would trust enough for that. Sad

    Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions, ladies! I really appreciate it, and I hope to be joining you on this board soon!  Big Smile

    I hope you will too!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Keshias Birthday 2012 046edit
  • imagemissred75:

    imageEcoBaby:
    A family friend keeps DS - would that be an option for you?

    Unfortunately, no. We're Army, so we live far away from family and anyone I would trust enough for that. Sad

    Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions, ladies! I really appreciate it, and I hope to be joining you on this board soon!  Big Smile

    I hope you will too!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Keshias Birthday 2012 046edit
  • My mom watches DS one day a week, and then we have a nanny come in when DH goes to work at 11am until I come home at 5pm. 

    The daycares that had available slots just weren't for us. One had a 4:1 ratio for infants, and I just don't see how one person can take care of four babies and really pay attention to them all. We are on a waiting list for a daycare with a 2:1 ratio for infants, in case our nanny doesn't work out. 

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  • Honestly, it didn't even occur to me before choosing the daycare because (in a very un-AP manner) I didn't give any thought to parenting, etc. before he was born (we didn't even buy any clothes) because I was too paranoid to plan at all for a baby that I wasn't positive I'd bring home. We chose a Montessori school for childcare when I was still pregnant because we liked the school and it was highly recommended. Afte rhe was born and we went there I was concerned, but they agreed not to CIO if we don't want them to, they aren't scheduled, he gets held a lot there (partly because he's one of the few non mobile/sitting upright babies in the room) so I'm comfortable with it. And he LOVES it there.
    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • I visited a few near my house: one commercial place (terrrrrible), one faith-based community center, and a Montessori program with infant care.

    I *really* liked the Montessori program - very small and really neat. But it was crazy expensive (like our mortgage monthly payment) and their hours were pretty inconvenient (8-4 only).

    So we went with the community center's early childhood education program. It's affordable, close to our house, and has great hour options including part-time if you want it or long hours if you need it.

    The teachers in the infant classes are all like Russian grandmothers essentially.

    Basically I didn't have the luxury of choosing an AP-style place, but all in all it's fine. They work with me on things like napping and food.

  • We lucked out and came across a daycare that was equally, if not more, AP than we are.

    She was recommended by a prior co-worker who was also super-AP.

    At the time it wasn't a requisite, she was just a daycare that wasn't breaking laws like our current daycare was, and she had an opening.

    I thank God daily that we found her. 

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