Moms: Do you feel overwhelmed/lost a lot?

sixres · December 2009

Every since Aiden came I feel like I don't have a brain. I can't function other than to be his mom and a wife. I forget how to do the simplest things. I forget about plans I've made or things I said I'd do. My imagination or creative side is gone. My mind feels flustered and disorganized. I feel like there's no time to do things or prepare for things. I am working (for now) and not sure how other mom's do it. Like, if you're the hostess of a bridal shower, how in the world did you have time to put it together?! I get home from work and it's go go go until his bed time and them I'm exhausted and the stores are closed. Then the weekends are shot with birthdays and other events. I feel like a totally different person now. I hate committing to things because I don't feel like I can do them 110% like I used to. It gets better as the kids get older, right? Where they can do things themselves. I'll be a SAHM in January, so I'm hoping I'll feel a bit of relief, but I know being a SAHM means it's a full time job as well...so I'm not so sure. When do you have time to do things other than be a mom? And did you get your brain back?

SeaSoul · December 2009

I sure do!!! We're having a bday party for Cal this weekend and have hardly had a chance to do any prep for it! My mind is jumbled and I forget things all the time. I think it's probably a typical experience for a new mom. Or any mom, for that matter.

howleyshell · December 2009

sixres:
It gets better as the kids get older, right? Where they can do things themselves.

Yes... it does get easier as they get older.

And you become more comfortable saying "no" and recognizing that you have to prioritize things differently than before kids.

Right now my kids will go play while I cook dinner.

Cooking dinner was a completely overwhelming task for me for 2 years.

And... if I wanted to do things other than be a Mom I had to leave them to be alone to get things done (planned BFF's twin shower last January) or I'd stay up late after they went to bed knowing it would make tomorrow harder but also knowing it was the only way to squeek out a few hours of "me" time.

My favorite motto for the first year or so is: "This too shall pass"

It does get easier!

TakYelgif · December 2009

I think for full time working moms this is more common becuase we are go go go from the minute the kid wakes up to the time they go to bed in the evening.

I don't know about other working moms but I do not view my job as a break from the kids, it is work and when I am done with that I go to my second job as a mom then my third job as a wife and caretaker for our home.

I cannot tell you if it gets better because I have not seen a difference but my being a SAHM is a pipe dream for our family heres hoping it gets better.

MayDayGirl · December 2009

I think you will feel differently as a SAHM. I cannot imagine working a full time job away from the home, adding commute time and then coming home to get everything done in such a short period of time.

EastCoastBride · December 2009

I understand a bit where you're at, but at the same time.... I'm wondering what kind of commute you have, how supportive is your DH (as in how much does he do at home/ for the baby), what is your basic scheduule at home?

Sure, my life is different now, but I'm still able to work in some of my old life into the mix.

However, a large part of the reason for this is my support network.

My DH is fully my partner in raising DS and takes care of him just as much as I do.

My parents are able to watch DS for us when other things come up (like tomorrow night I'm going out for a girls night and DH is working)

My friends - most have kids and most stuff we do is kid friendly (but not kid focused) so it's easy to take DS w/ us

But also, as someone else pointed out, no, you aren't going to be able to do everything you used to do. You need to work on finding a balance.

madhatter2003 · December 2009

Finding the balance is one of the things I struggle with the most. Heck I'm in counseling over feeling overwhelmed.

I know for me giving up control has been HUGE. Will DH do everything as I would do it - no. But does having him do things make my life easier, sure.....once I got over the 'my way is the right way' thinking.

I also prioritize, some things just aren't as important as they used to be. Or I find shortcuts...why chop veggies when stores have salad bars with already chopped veggies, etc.

I_want_a_Pot · December 2009

I am interested to see the comments to this post. I too, work and am going from 6 am to 11-12 at night. DS goes down most nights at 8-9 and then I try to run around getting things done. I have not watched TV in months. I feel lost, overwhelmed and am happy when I get to wash my hair in the morning. I keep telling myself this has to get easier. It just has to!! Right!!?? I also do nothing for myself, except on my lunch breaks at work, I will go grab some starbucks and walk around or try to cram a bunch of errands into an hour. My Mom and sister keep telling me it does get easier as they get older. I sure hope so. And by that time I willprobably be on baby #2, and starting the whole thing over again! (AM I NUTS??)

Good luck.?

dundasgirl · December 2009

Um yeah! I asked Tommy for a day off as my Christmas present! He laughed but I was serious! I would love to just have a day to myself. I am making Christmas stockings in the evenings after Reed goes to bed but Penny still needs to be fed and entertained too.

The motto of my life is "chaos" but I love it.

BoxTer · December 2009

I'm a lot busier than I used to be, that's for sure, but I am doing pretty well and I feel on top of things for the most part. I actually attribute that to the fact that I am so busy that I have learned to prioritize well and get things done more efficiently than I did in the past when I had lots of free time. It also helps that I have a DH who is very involved so I never feel I'm parenting alone. We have short commutes to work and N's school is a two-minute walk from DH's office and about a five-minute drive from my office. If I have errands, I try to do them on my lunch break. DH and I trade off early mornings to work out. We're both involved in some local volunteer and professional organizations so we have to coordinate our calendars to accommodate meetings and activities. Our lives have changed a lot since having N, but I don't really feel like I've changed that much, or had to give up everything I enjoy. Can I always do what I want, when I want? No, but I do feel like I have a very good balance between family, work and me time.

JGirl2005 · December 2009

i feel like this all the time....i can't do more than one thing at a time. I used to be a stellar employe and now I just scrape by....

it is all priorities...i have to take the highest priorities and then take things step by step.

For example, we are having a party at my house for DS. I ordered invites, step1, next one is to send our before christmas....then I have to order cake and PLAN more....

I just can't believe all the freedom i had before I was a mom. I go to sleep with DS so it is hard to get anything done when I get home (which means I shop online and flake during work time). I'm not sure how SAHMs stay sane!

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