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Attachment Parenting
Does anyone else have a high need baby?
I feel so alone... No one seems to understand what it's like, my DS is high need and is in high gear ALL the time. ?I sent this https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp to my mom in the hopes that she would understand DS a bit more and why I can't do alot of things, and all she replied with was " hah sounds like most babies".... yeah she obviously doesn't understand.... Anyone one else going through this and feel like no one understands? ?I guess you really can't understand unless you have or have had a high need baby...?
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Re: Does anyone else have a high need baby?
oh yes, she was. and still is sometimes at 15 months. When I'm around other babies, I realize how different she really was. She hated being in new situations around more than a couple people. She would only fall asleep in just the right circumstances. i nursed her A LOT (which I didn't mind since it really soothed her, and I could just relax).
It just took time and patience and it got better. She got a little happier once she started getting mobile, although she still mostly only likes mommy and daddy. I think I am also just used to being her mother and can anticipate what will upset her, so we avoid it for the most part.
GL, I know it's rough, but it does get easier!
Yes, though at the time I didn't realize it. I have a 4 month old nephew, and he is so easy-going--he's soooo different from the way DD was.
I found that consistency was (and still is) very important with DD. I was the nap police when she was little--it used to drive my inlaws crazy. Even though her naps were only 20-30 minutes long, if she missed one, watch out:) She loved being outside, so I used to take her for a couple of walks a day when she was your DS's age. Like the PP mentioned, things started to get easier once DD was mobile. She's still very sensitive and won't let anyone but DH or me hold her, but her overall temperment is delightful now.
yes, and she still is! She is my first so I didn't realize too much at the time, and actually got defensive when people would make comments. Then, my friends started having babies and I realized how much more laid back they were than Hannah.
She was born with eyes wide open, like PP said, was a horrible sleeper, very temperamental (though, not colicky), and had meltdowns without warning if something suddenly didn't go her way, esp if she was tired. We could never ever take her out in the evening. if she wasn't in bed at 7:30, the world had to listen to her scream. She is doing much better, but still has quite a few meltdowns.
She is still very sensitive and dramatic. She can barely bump her arm and just burst into tears, and take forever to calm down.
Most of the time, she is very happy now though.
It is definitely getting better, but I think she will always have a difficult personality.
YES. And, ohmygoodness, sometimes I think why me/us?? I hear and read all of these things like it gets better at 12 weeks, 4 months, etc. and it never rang true. It took me a whole year to really accept that I don't have an "easy" baby because I don't want to seem like a wuss.
Intense is the best way to describe DD. There are a lot of positives to her and I see how her personality will benefit her in the future but as a baby, who is needy to begin with, it can be very draining on the parents. I feel like other people and even friends are giving me the side eye or thinking that I'm a whiner when I describe sleep troubles, being worn out, having a lot of trouble getting anything done for myself, etc. I don't really have anyone IRL to commiserate with.
I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS TOO! word for word...
it is hard. i'm sure it gets better but yes i often feel alone. esp since friends have easier babies AND are not AP so they dont have nearly as much interaction with their babies (they go to daycare a lot, babysitters on weekends, CIO at night, etc)
Wow. I could have written most of this! It is so nice to hear I am not alone either.
~Kennedy
My DH and I joke we have a reformed high needs baby. Those first nine months were next to impossible, but like a PP said, once she got mobile, things really improved.
Now, I think I have the most fun fifteen month old on the planet. She is a blast and every day (even the hard ones) I am so blessed to be her mom. She's so fun, so smart, so engaging and has such a personality (sometimes I think my mom friends like her more than their own babies
).
One of the things that saved my sanity and I think helped her be a little less high needs was to put her in daycare. Which I know is weird, but it's just day care at our gym and she goes three times a week. It's always the same caregivers and we go at the same time (like another PP said, consistency is soooo important) so she feels safe and loves it there. It took several months of work and a lot of holding and loving by the girls at the gym, but now when we hit the doors, she's running to the play area. It helped her to know there was life outside of mom, I got a break and a workout, and it helped foster her independence. We started when she was six months old and just love it.
j+k+m+e | running with needles