Success after IF

Ended up in the ER psych unit (long)

I've been having big difficulty lately with depression.  Here's my situation:

We changed insurance and my regular OB and primary care physician's group are no longer in our plan.  My pcp actually moved away and I was assigned to another doctor in the practice who hasn't seen me.

I tried to call a psychiatrist office but the only docs who accept my insurance don't have appointments available for 3 months or so.

There's another doc in town who does not take my insurance, but yesterday I was despereate and didn't care what it would cost ($150-$300 per visit).  They wouldn't make an appointment for me without a referral from my pcp.  In order to get an evaluation by this psychiatrist, I would have to find a new primary within my insurance coverage network, have an appointment, just so they could say YES, you need to see a psychiatrist.  I wanted to see a psychiatrist because they know all the ins & outs of all the meds.  Versus a pcp who isn't familliar with all the meds as well.  I called my OB to see if she'd make the referral phone call for me and they wouldn't do it because it had been a while (3 months or so) since she had seen me.

Trying to make all these phonecalls yesterday, in tears, was so hard.  At first the boys were asleep, but then they woke up and were crying too.  It was hell.  I called Frank at work and asked him to come home, which he did.  In my last call to the OB, begging for a referral call, they told me to go to the ER.

I'm so embarrassed.  Heaven forbid I want to run for office some day because it's official - I ended up at the hospital for a "psychotic break".  I was happy because the docs at the hospital are the ones I couldn't get in to see and wanted to.  I thought I'd be forced into their schedule.

Nope, they made an appointment for me today at the county mental health clinic.  I'm going to be mixed in with the crack addicts and psychos.  They have a nurse practitioner, not even a doctor.  I wanted to go to the MD at the private practice!

I was supposed to go today at 9:30 for my first therapy session but it was cancelled due to the weather.

My mom is here with me today.  I'm so embarrassed and ashamed.  I know I shouldn't be, and blah blah blah, but I won't deny my feelings.  So that's how my day went yesterday.

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Re: Ended up in the ER psych unit (long)

  • I am so very sorry.  Sending you tons of hugs.  The biggest thing is that you did not give up...you kept pushing and are reaching out, but I am sure you know that.  I am a nurse and it is frustrating to see someone reaching out for help and there is no one there to help them.  Sending some good thoughts your way
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  • Big big big hugs.

    Health insurance sucks big time.  I'm so sorry.

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  • Wow, that is the second story on this board this week in which the medical system has failed soemone reaching out for help. No wonder there is so much unchecked mental illness in this country.

    I'm so very sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry you're having so much trouble. I really hope you get the help you need. I think you're amazingly strong for being so persistent in seeking it out--you obviously care about yourself and those boys. 

    I'll be thinking about you!

  • I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I hope things get better for you soon and you are able to get the help you want.
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  • You poor thing.  I am almost in tears for you.  What a horrible day.  I am so MAD at your OB.  How dare they make you jump through all those hoops.  They should have immediately referred you.

    I am so so sorry you are dealing with this.

    BIG hugs!

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  • OH honey. I'm so sorry.

    Did you get a social workers number while you were there? perhaps another avenue to head?  what a mess.

    As for being mixed in with the crack addicts and psychos, they don't go to their appts honey. They stay home and do crack and be psychos.  ;-)

    Keep going. You'll get there. I'm here if you need an ear.

     

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  • So sorry for insult being added to injury.  BUT you were persistant and are getting the support and help you need.  One day at a time.  Hang in there.  ((Hugs)).  I think more of you for making it happen. 
  • I'm so sorry!  What an awful thing to have to go through when you are trying to do the right thing and reach out for help!  I'm glad your mom is with you today and hope that you continue to get support from your family while you are waiting for an appointment.  ((HUGS))

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  • (((HUGS))) I cannot believe the hoops you have had to jump through to get the help that you need. Kudos to you for reaching out and being persistent. I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Hoping you get the help you need from this point on. We are all here for you!
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  • I am so very proud of you for demanding that you get the medical attention that you know you need.

    It seems so insane to me that with a condition who's main problem is that people won't ask for help that we hear so often of people begging for help and not receiving it due to beauracratic BS.

    Good for you for advocating for yourself!

    I hope you get a good med game plan soon and find the fog lifting.

    ((((HUGS)))

     

     

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  • ((hugs))  My husband works in the mental health system.  It's very hard having to be lumped in with people who are much more seriously ill and in very different situations.  The insurance system is so frustrating!  But don't give up!  Persist in getting the care you need for yourself.  It takes so much strength and courage to do what you're doing.  It's the right thing for you and your family.  I hope you are able to get the meds and help you need, and hopefully switch to a private practice that is more your speed.  In any case, the NP at the clinic should have the expertise to get you started on the right meds and you can go from there.
  • I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. It shouldnt be so hard to make an appointment! I am really glad you kept pushing, you deserve to be seen. I really hope you are able to find the help you want. And dont feel ashamed, everyone needs to be their own advocate because no one else will do it. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • What a nightmare...I really feel for you and am sorry you had to go through all that!  So glad you have your DH and mom to help you during this hard time!
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  • That's so upsetting to me, the way you were just pushed off from person to person and made to feel ashamed for trying to get help.  You did the right thing, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.  I can't believe that there isn't anywhere you can get an emergency appointment with a real doctor! I mean, obviously emergencies happen...

     I hope you keep going trying to get the help you need.  I have worked in community mental health while doing my clinical training and I do agree that it is not the level of care or expertise you want in the long-term, but it might help to go in (when you can) and start on some medication, as well as begin therapy just to get this off your chest.  I really hope something happens soon.

     

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  • Oh  my goodness.  I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.  From someone who deals with depression, please know you are not alone. ((HUGS))
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  • You did the right thing and I'm sorry that you feel embarassed and ashamed.  I'm sure that you'd tell someone else on here the same thing.  I'm glad that you're mom is with you today.  Take care.
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  • (((hugs))) it can be so hard to break into the mental health system - good for you for being persistent. Even if you don't love the county mental health folks, this should give you some time to figure out how to get in to see the docs you really want to see. hang in there sweetie!
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  • (((HUGS))) I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is such a huge step to know that you cannot do this alone. I know there are rules and procedures but SHAME on your OB!!! What does making a referral hurt when someone is asking for help?

    I am praying that you get the help that you need and feel better soon! Please take care and know that we are all here for you!!!
    It took over four years to be diagnosed with PCOS. We TTC #1 for 18 months, did 5 rounds of Clomid and finally moved onto IVF...which worked! Throughout our IF journey, we suffered 3 miscarriages. We conceived both DD and DS without treatment.
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  • I got teary just reading your post. how awful!!! the way these insurance companies work (I mean don't work) makes me crazy! I think it's criminal that you couldn't get the help that you needed without going through such a huge hassle. it's like adding insult to injury.

    use your mom's help today. I suggest taking a nice nap or a short walk (alone.)

    you're on the right track k! we are always here for you!  :)

     (((big hug)))

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  • I was just thinking about you yesterday and was going to page you to see how things were going.  I HATE that this is happening to you and that you weren't able to get the help you needed when you were clearly reaching out for help.

    Please don't give up on seeing a psychiatrist, trying meds and doing some therapy.  They have made such an incredible difference in my life.  I could cry just thinking about how miserable I was (and I know that you are) before I got help.

    Kristin, you need to do this for yourself.  Don't do it for Frank or the boys.  You need to take this situation under control.  You don't like how things are going and you want to make them better...I am praying that you do just that.  (((HUGE HUGS)))

    Allison
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  • I am so sorry that you are having a rough time.  Don't be embarrassed, at all!!!  It is good that you recognize it - that is a major step.  I hope things start to fall into place and you can actually see a doctor who will help you.  Hang in there.    {{{hugs}}}
  • It's ridiculous that you had to jump through so many hoops to get seen by a doctor.  That's the medical system failing you - not you being a failure.  Really.

    Hugs to you.  Hope things start looking up.

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  • I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, and that it's been such a struggle to get help. I applaud you for your efforts and hope you are able to see someone soon.
  • I am so sorry that you are feeling the way that you are AND that it is so damn hard to get the help that you need.  I applaud your persistance in getting the help that you need.  It shouldn't be so hard.

    I have dealt with depression/ADD for coming up on 15 years now and I am continually amazed by how difficult it is to get quality help and support.  What is most frustrating for me is that the system is so difficult and it is for a population that is less apt to be able to advocate for themselves.

    I'm glad that your mom is there with you.  My mom has come to my rescue on more than one occassion.  Do what you need to do to take care of yourself--which you are already doing such a good job of. 

    If ever you need a shoulder to lean on or to talk with someone who has been there, PM or page me.  I'm happy to trade phone numbers.  I'm a SAHM, so I'm around to help.

    Thank you for sharing your story.  IMO, the more people talk about things like this, the less stigma there will be.  Please don't be embarrassed for how you feel.  My thoughts are with you!

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  • don't be embarrased.  you are a great mom for getitng help.  you need it and it sounds like you are going to get your med help soon.

    glad your mom is there.

    we are here for you, sweetie!

  • Oh, I'm so sorry.  Sending you big time hugs and T&P. 
  • That is so awful.  Of all things, getting in to see someone about a mental health issue should be the simplest of processes!  I am proud of you for being persistent.  I hope you get the help you want and feel better soon.
  • BIG BIG Hugs!!!

    I'm just glad you know you need help and are getting it.  Wish it could be easier for you :(

  • What a great mom you are - pushing to get help when you could feel you were in trouble.  Sending huge HUGS to you Kristin. 
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  • And you have my vote no matter what!
    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • oh honey... (((HUGS)))    i'm so sorry you had to go through all of that!!!   but i think it says so much about your strength and sense of self that you didn't give up and you did what you needed to do to take care of yourself!    you'll be in my thoughts, and don't feel ashamed in the least...  you are a strong woman and a great mother!
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  • There is ZERO shame in it...you did what you had to do to get the help you needed...

    (((Hugs)))

  • I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time. Sending you virtual hugs {{ }}.
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  • I posted on Monday about the same frustrations. I'm suffering from postpartum anxiety really bad. I called my OB, and was told to "seek counseling from a psychiatrist". I asked for a referral, because I'm not originally from here, and I have no idea who is reputable. He had no recommendations for me. How in the hell can an OB who deals with women that have PPD, anxiety, cancer, IF, etc not have any recommendations? I was on the phone half the day on Monday, while dealing with Matt who was crying and fussy from reflux, trying to find help. I'm finally seeing a general practioner on Friday. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I understand your frustration, and I think it's great that you're seeking the help you need. You're a great mommy. I hope you start feeling better soon. ((Hugs))
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  • I really admire you for being persistent about getting the help you need.  I am sorry you are dealing with this and really hope things get better for you soon.  Sending lots of good thoughts your way.
  • I am sorry you were given the runaround and treated that way.  That sounds horrible, and shame on your Dr.'s!  You were looking for support and advice and they didn't help!
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  • I'm sorry you had to jump through so many hoops but I'm glad you persisted and got the referral you needed.

     Lots of Hugs and T&P's coming your way.  You are a strong woman and momma for getting the help you need.

  • Don't be ashamed - you are doing a great thing for yourself and your family. big hugs to you. Insurance does suck big time.
  • kristin i am so sorry you had such a hard time finding the help you needed yesterday.  i am glad you persisted though and have been set up with someone, even if it wasn't who you wanted to see.

    i'll be thinking of you.  please don't be ashamed.  you're so strong for doing what you did and sharing with us today.

    xoxo

  • You shouldn't be embarassed.  You should be proud you are taking whatever steps necessary to get the help you need. 

    I hope that the therapy helps and hopefully you can get the medication too.

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