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Attachment Parenting
So tired of hearing CIO success stories...
I am tempted to start lying when people ask if DS is STTN. Co-workers, pedi,MIL,friends etc- all giving me CIO advice and their success with it. Why is that the number one question people ask? "Is he STTN?" I just always say "almost" and smile. End of topic.
My co-worker asked "when are you just going to let him CIO? You've been saying almost for over a month now."
Thanks for listening- just needed to vent 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So tired of hearing CIO success stories...
At some point, we will all stop being polite and say something like, "I would NEVER let my child CIO. I love him too much." LOL - That will shut them up huh?
(that's a joke, in case anyone is offended. I know everyone loves their kids).
Might be a joke, but it would work for sure!
I just flat out lie. "Does he STTN?" "Yep!"
All done.
(Actually up until recently he was, for all intents and purposes, STTN. The last few weeks have been restless but before that - we were kicking butt - part of the night in the crib - and the rest of the night snuggling with mama!)
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
I wonder if others are feeling guilty so they want everyone else to feel the same way or something?
I can understand if you go in and complain everyday, but if they bring it up - it sounds like their own issue.
Most people in my life are anti-CIO, but I have had people say "You HAVE to CIO, or else..." Well, if they CIO, how do they know what the "or else" is? I guess they hear "horror" stories about 8 year olds needing a parent to sleep.
I think I'll use this one!
It really does confuse me. I could understand if I went into work everyday complaining about it but I don't. I am one of those moms who cherishes the few night feeds because I know it won't be forever.
To be honest, this is exactly the reason I used to be anti-AP. My 11-year-old stepson was a prime example of bed-sharing gone wrong. He was still sleeping with his mother a year or two ago and would cry his eyes out at our house for HOURS when we made him sleep in his own room. Sometimes he would even work himself up so much that he would puke. At age 10. Poor DH didn't know what to do with him...it was a nightmare. I've never thought CIO would be an issue with a 10-year-old, but now I know it can be!
However, after doing research, I realized that his mother was doing this horribly wrong. She would let him sleep with her until she got a new boyfriend and then he would be kicked out into his own room until she and said boyfriend broke up, where he would then be invited back into her bed. Yeah, that's going to make him feel secure and safe. And she was constantly and needlessly warning him about the dangers of the world and how he could be kidnapped by a pedophile or drown in the river if he went bike riding with the other kids in our safe neighborhood. He's the most easily frightened child I've ever met. Oy vey.
I honestly think it's stories like these that scare people away from AP parenting. They think that because she was bed-sharing, she was an AP mom, when in reality, she was not instilling security into her child and putting his needs first, which is the foundation of AP, IMO. But it's hard for people who don't know very much about AP to see the difference. I'm so glad I did a ton of research and discovered how different AP is than what I thought it was!
Or, some people truly suffered through the wakings and CIO saved their sanity and they know how great the result can be. Not every stitch of parenting advice is meant to make it seem like you are wrong. Most are probably well-intentioned. I know unsolicited parenting advice is annoying as hell, but we're all guilty of it.
I am generally anti-CIO, but after over a year of my DD being awake more at night than asleep (and trying EVERY single soothing technique I came across), I had to do something. Now she does sleep and we are all happy. I am more AP than anything else, but you do have to understand that all children and parents are not the same.
Love this.
Funny story- My Mom had been telling me for months that my brother and I STTN at 4 months. One day I was visiting and she pulled out my baby book and we discovered that I didn't STTN for the first time until 9 months. I really think that people who have grown children are not always remembering that period in their life clearly.
This exactly- maybe I should have titled my post a little differently. I don't cram my parenting choices down anyone else. My best friend (one of the few who doesn't solicit advice) is completely different from me and that's fine because it works well for her and her DS. I'm not saying that I'm a better parent or that I love my child more. I'm just tired of people trying to drag me over to the "CIO side"- especially when I didn't ask or complain about my DS's sleeping patterns.
Agreed, I think they just want validation for their own practices and beliefs and when you don't agree with them, they start to second guess themselves a bit.
Awwww! That story makes me really sad.
I absolutely believe that following your instinctd and your child's needs is what AP is all about - and the 7 B's or whatever are typically just commonalities among AP parents. Just because a parent co-sleeps doesn't make them AP - they could be doing it selfishly or not understanding their child's needs like you demonstrated. I hope he is finding a more well-adjusted home with you guys
ugh. i hate the CIO suggesters.. its not like you dont know its an option, its just an option you're not willing to try.